Reflect, Learn, Grow; Shifts in Purpose and the Importance of Connection w/Billy Lahr -19

Shawna: 0:00

Today's guest came to a point in life where bold changes were needed, and as he navigates those changes, he continues to find a way to connect with others who are on a similar path. We'll hear a lot more about that today, but I'll give you a teaser. One of them is as the host of the Mindful Midlife Crisis, a podcast for people navigating the complexities and possibilities of life's second half. Welcome to The Grit Show, Growth on Purpose. I'm glad you found us. I'm Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm honored to be leading you on today's journey as part of this community growing together as seekers and thrivers. I hope you stick around and share with us what you gain from today's conversation. Billy Lair spent 21 years as an educator. Due to budding mental health concerns and a lack of job satisfaction in 2021, Billy left his job as Dean of students in order to travel the world and search for more meaningful life experiences. While in Korea, Billy's path in life became crystal clear to him, and as a result, he co-created, reflect, learn, grow. To help others develop awareness of thoughts and behaviors through self-reflection in order to cultivate a more purpose filled life. And if you've been around The Grit Show, you know, that we are very much in alignment with that. So we are very grateful to have him here today. Welcome Billy.

Billy: 1:21

Hey, thanks for having me. I appreciate it.

Shawna: 1:23

Yes. I'm so glad you were able to come. Today I am excited to learn more about reflect, learn, grow. Can you tell us just a little glimpse of what that is about?

Billy: 1:33

Yeah, my friend Jill Taylor, she's a life coach and, I'm transitioning out of this life of education. 15 as a teacher, and six as a dean, and I took a leave of absence that eventually turned into a resignation and did my travels and was really trying to figure out, What is it that I want to do now that I'm no longer in education and I still have this passion for helping people,

Shawna: 1:57

Mm-hmm.

Billy: 1:58

but I didn't know how to take, all the skills and all the knowledge and the experiences that I've had and wrap them up into some kind of program that I teach, cause I, I still enjoy the teaching process. But I knew that I wasn't gonna be able to do it by myself. I needed someone to work with. And so I reached out to my friend Jill and said, Hey, are you interested in doing this? And she simply texted me. Yes, so we're creating this program it's six months and it meets weekly, and at the beginning of each session, we do a mindful meditation. Just to kind of settle you in and to give you some time and some space to bring awareness to whatever it is that you're feeling, whether it's emotional or whether it's physical, just so you can tune in and, and bring awareness to that moment. And then after that we have you do what's called an emotional inventory, And the purpose of the emotional inventory is to provide you with an opportunity to truly think about what emotions you are bringing to that session. We can be feeling something on this happy end of the spectrum, and something on the sad end of the spectrum, something on the confused end of the spectrum. but what we're doing is we're using specific emotional words so that you're not just limited to saying things like, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm excited. No, no, no, no. Specifically, what is it that you're feeling? While I'm feeling remorseful, I'm feeling grief. I'm feeling enthused. I'm feeling energized. You're getting those words. Those words are so important in communicating to others just how you are feeling,

Shawna: 4:01

Mm-hmm.

Billy: 4:02

because we wanna get specific with the emotions that are going on inside of us. And listen, I taught English for 15 years, so are we developing vocabulary? Yes, we are. But in order to develop vocabulary for the purpose of communicating, How we are feeling, not just to others, but to also really get a sense of it, of ourselves so that we don't just go to the top shelf word or the bottom shelf word, because that's, that's the easy thing to do, is to go to those two words. And then the other part of it too is examining what our default behaviors are. At times I'm an introvert. At times I display these other emotions depending on the situation that I am in. In fact, there are other characteristics that I possess, but they're not default personality trait. And I would like to build those up, but in order to build those up, it's going to take a concentrated effort. I need to be intentional in doing so. We do a bit of a cultural biography so that we can examine the way that race, gender, uh, socioeconomic class and, your religious background, your geography, how all of those things impact what it is that you want and how it has shaped your experiences, how it has shaped your beliefs, how it has shaped your values, so that you understand where your motivation is, where your drive is, and what's pulling you towards that, because that way you can live this more purpose filled life. So we're doing these deep dives on what makes you, you, and we're really excited to, to get going with it here we are going to start the program in January. Right in time for, those people who like to do New Year's resolutions. If you wanna turn the corner here, turn the corner with us, reflect, learn, and grow.

Shawna: 6:10

that sounds very exciting. And purpose is something that we talk about a decent amount, growth on purpose as part of our tagline for The, Grit Show. And so how do you define purpose?

Billy: 6:19

You know, that's a good question.

Shawna: 6:21

Mm-hmm.

Billy: 6:23

Your purpose is to figure out what it is that you are really good at, and then continue to get better at that. And you are good at different things, at different stages in your life. Your purpose is to figure out what you're good at and to continue to grow and get better and seek out ways to. The challenge then becomes is once you figure out what you're good at, and once you get really good at it, then how do you use that to empower or better the people around you? So when I think of purpose, I think of it more. Universal and altruistic in the sense that I'm first of all going to figure out what I am good at. What is it that I provide? What is my value? We all have value. What is your value? And once you figure out your value, then how are you building that value? How are you investing in that value, and how are you then sharing that value with the people around you? To me, that is purpose.

Shawna: 7:37

Mm-hmm. So how does that work when, the purpose can shift? Throughout your lifetime, and this is something that is a curiosity and we've talked a little bit about on this show. Like for you, your shift away from being an educator. So how do you know when it's time that your purpose needs to be a different place and your talents and your gifts and what you have to offer needs to go somewhere else? Like when do you know it's time? How did you know it was time to shift?

Billy: 8:01

I wasn't in the right position as a dean of students that just it, that that wasn't the right position for me because like if you watch any movie, the dean of students is always the bad guy. They make movies about the dean of students being the villain, and that's what you are all the time. Like I was always the bad guy. I was constantly delivering bad news to people. I would call parents and they would say, "what did he do now?" And it's like, uh, what if I were tell you that they actually did something really...? I actually had that one time I called a parent and he is like, "Oh no." And I'm like, "No, no, no. This is good news." So I'm just, I couldn't handle continuously delivering bad news, and it was wearing me out. So I, I took a leave. Now, I had always told myself that I was going to take a leave. When my dog shuffled across the Rainbow Bridge, right? So I don't have kids. I've never been married. So, I don't have the same responsibilities that people have. So I was able to take this leave, but this leave could not have come at a better time because I was burnt out. I was absolutely burnt out, and I think it really just comes down to. Do you feel valued?

Shawna: 9:24

Mm-hmm.

Billy: 9:25

If you don't feel valued. It becomes difficult to continuously be excited. And I know that you'll hear people oftentimes say, It shouldn't matter what other people's opinions are of you. To a degree they're right. But on the other hand, if your job requires the cooperation of other people, like I was teaching at risk students, students who came to me with a bunch of social, emotional, behavioral academic challenges.

Shawna: 9:59

Mm-hmm.

Billy: 10:00

It was really hard to connect with them because I didn't grow up with that. I loved school. I worked really hard in school. I was a nerd. When I was in college. The two places you could find me were either in the bar or in the library. Everybody knew that if, if I wasn't in the bar, then I was in the library. When you start to feel like no one values you. That's when you start to burn out. And I was experiencing that for, for years and years and years. And I decided, all right, what is it that I wanna do? Now, I almost fell into the trap of, I'm gonna go into corporate America and find a job in corporate America, that's the responsible thing to do. But, that didn't appeal to me either because what I wanted to do was this reflect, learn, grow program, and I wanted to work with people who wanted to work with me. It was also why I started this podcast because I wanted to create a platform that gave space to people who wanted to share their expertise and their life experiences in order to help people navigate the complexities and possibilities of life's second half. That's what I wanted to do. I'm, I'm a promoter and I get to talk to really wonderful people and share their story, and share their expertise on a platform that maybe they hadn't explored before. It has pushed me into doing this really crazy thing and it feels energizing and I feel that purpose. Every time I have a conversation with one of the guests, it just fills me up with so much pride in the conversation that we have and, when they get done, they say wonderful things like that was a lot of fun. Thank you so much. Thank you for asking those challenging questions. I had never thought about those questions before. I got an email a couple weeks ago from a former guest that said, I've actually been thinking about some of the questions that you asked because I hadn't ever really reflected on 'em like that before and I really appreciate that. I'm gonna frame that email because that's what fills me up, knowing that, you know, gosh, we're having these powerful conversations. You know that, that to me is purpose, and that to me is the awareness of when, if you don't feel that from time to time, and you are not gonna feel it every day if we're being realistic, but you should feel it more than once a week. You should feel it more than once a month. You should feel it multiple times in a week. And if you don't, then you have to ask yourself, is it the way I'm approaching this job? If it's, am I not feeling valued. That I don't feel valued, then who can you have a conversation with about that ?And make them recognize that? Lately I've been feeling a little underappreciated. And if they're a good boss or if they're a good colleague, they will say something like, You know what? I wasn't aware of that. What is it that you need from time to time? Because we all have basic needs. We talked about the love languages on, on one of our shows, episode 15, we all have these basic needs, so let's make sure that we're tending to those. Because if we don't, we're going to experience burnout.

Shawna: 13:34

Yeah, so purpose is more than just being good at something ,then. It's good at something that energizes you and good at something that fills your cup and maybe the fill in your cup need to make sure you're surrounding yourself with people or checking in about that. And the love language is, We also had an episode around love languages and I love that conversation and I think it is interesting cause I can go back at my last job and tell you, I. One colleague who he was words of affirmation and if he was gonna feel appreciated and part of the team we needed to do words of affirmation and so is also knowing how you can help others help you feel appreciated by knowing what you need. Do you mind sharing what your love language is and how you feel appreciated?

Billy: 14:14

No, my love languages are quality time. That's 33%. And then 27% is physical touch and words of affirmation. So we actually, we'll talk about and identify love languages in reflect, Learn and grow program because it all comes back to this idea of like, what fills your love bucket? How do we get to know us? We'll also talk about attachment styles. My attachment style is anxious attachment and if people are listening and they're like, This guy sounds like he's got a lot of energy, it's because I have a lot of anxious energy. So it's just one of those kind of things. Like I always tell people that I practice mindfulness so I can be this level of obnoxious, because if I didn't practice mindfulness, then I would be an outrageous level of obnoxiousness. So The love languages. I thought that was all woo woo nonsense. And

Shawna: 15:04

Really.

Billy: 15:05

yeah, and then I started doing a little more digging into it and I read the book and I was like, Wait a minute. This is making a lot of sense. Especially when I started applying it to relationship that didn't work out. I'm like, Oh, this is why don't feel fulfilled in this relationship. It was very eyeopening to me. I just wanna spend quality time with somebody. I wanna have experiences. I don't buy people gifts. Gifts is 0%, 0%. Don't buy me a gift. If anybody ever sees me, gimme a hug and save the gift for someone who appreciate it.

Shawna: 15:43

I was so curious about love languages at work and I feel like when I've been in jobs, I've been able to look around and see that. And see when my jobs become dissatisfying cuz quality time is a top level one for me. And so when I have jobs that like require quick, quick, quick do this, run from this run from this run, from this, that I start to lose something because I need to make the connections with the work and make connections with the people that I work with. And there's time involved with that. And so when you look at doctors who are getting burnt out because they don't have times with patients, and I wonder if they're, quality time where somebody who that's not their language, right? Maybe that doesn't bother them as much when you just gotta churn through the patients, cause that's not the satisfaction they get outta their work. But yeah, that's such a curious topic. I love that topic of love, languages. That's great. You integrate that into Reflect, learn, and Grow. There's a lot that you guys are packing in.

Billy: 16:32

Yeah. You know, we really just wanna do a deep dive on who you are and, and build self awareness around your thoughts and behaviors and, and help that lead you to living a more purpose-filled life.

Shawna: 16:48

That's great. And so you and I talked a little bit about empty statements that people can use and how those really bother you.

Billy: 16:55

Live life with no regret. Regret is a natural human emotion. Are you saying that we shouldn't experience this natural human emotion? Regret can actually be an amazing teacher if you let it. If you don't wallow in regret, if you don't let regret consume you, you can look back. You can reflect, learn, and grow from your regret. So that you can navigate future situations and you can recognize, Oh, hey, I'm starting to feel this feeling of regret again. I know what this feels like. What is causing this feeling? Why am I experiencing this right now? And then you can reflect on it and you can say, now that I know that I'm feeling this, And that I've made, you know, whatever decision that is causing me to feel this level of regret, I have felt it and now I'm going to move forward on with it. To say live life with no regrets is to say, live your life perfectly. No one's gonna be able to live their life perfectly. You're going to make mistakes, You're going to experience regret, and that is just, okay. So when people say Live life with no regrets, just stop listening to.

Shawna: 18:11

is there room to be able to say that when you experience regret, that you just need to transition it to the lesson and not dwell on it? I think there's a level of like, yes, if something happens and you aren't happy with the turnout, but instead of having the emotion be regret that instead you get the lesson and move forward from it.

Billy: 18:28

And that's what I mean by not wallowing in the regret and not letting the regret consume you. Is that, you know? Yes. Are there things that I regret? Absolutely. I've learned to move on from them. Now, when I was struggling with anxiety and depression and suicidal ideation, I could not let go of regret. In fact, that regret was keeping me down in those depths. Now, do I experience regret these days that of course I do. There are things that I regret, but I'm able to see them for what they are and then. See the, the future and move forward after applying those lessons. I'll give you a perfect example when I was traveling, I, I spent three weeks. In Puerto Vallarta and in hindsight, I should have spent three more weeks there. I really was enjoying myself. I was making great connections with people there, but I just ended up saying, You know what? I'm gonna go back to to United States because there was some unresolved business that I needed to, to tend.

Shawna: 19:41

Mm.

Billy: 19:42

But I regretted that one I, One reason I regretted is because I went back to Minnesota in March and it was ice cold and it was really nice in Puerto Vallarta. But when I went to Korea, I was only scheduled to be in Korea for six weeks. I created these amazing relationships with people through Meetup Hiking Group while I was in Seoul. And when I left Seoul and I went to Juu Island and I went to Busan. I was supposed to leave after Busan, but I was telling my Airbnb host, he and I, one of the most wonderful, beautiful human beings I've ever met in my entire life, we would sit down and have these very philosophical conversations and I told him, I feel like if I leave Seoul now, That it will be closing the chapter on a book before it is finished being written. So when I was in Jesu Island, I looked to see if I could change my flight. Which I did. And then I emailed my Airbnb host and said, Do you have any availability through the month of June? And he did. And all signs pointed stay for a little bit longer. And so I extended that trip and built up those relationships and developed those relationships even more to the point that I'm heading back to Korea, and, and, and forging a life there. I don't know that I would have had the nerve to do that had I not reflected on the regret that I felt from leaving Puerto Vallarta earlier than I, I felt ready to.

Shawna: 21:20

Nice. So it's important if you have regret, to then go ahead and learn from it and make better decisions based on it. But it would've been okay if you had no regrets and didn't leave Puerto Vallarta the first time as well.

Billy: 21:33

Well, it would've been very nice. I could've eaten tacos and laid by the beach all day. It would've been absolutely fantastic.

Shawna: 21:41

No problem with that option. That would've been a good way to play things. So Korea, you say you're relocating there. You're staying there for an extended time.

Billy: 21:48

I am going there indefinitely, so I'm gonna go there and kind of figure out the, the visa situation and, um, my plan is to, to stay there and, and carve out some sort of life there. And see how things go because you know, like I lived in Minnesota my whole life. I turned 45 a month ago. It's, it's time to experience something else and we could go back to regret, like, you know, do I regret living in Minnesota my whole life? It would've been nice to have some other experiences if, if I, if you would've asked me that question 10 years ago when I was not in a good frame of mind, yes, I would've been, you know, beating myself up about it. But I understand now that I wasn't ready and now I'm ready. To move on and, and have this new experience. So, I don't look back on it with, with too much regret because this opportunity is here.

Shawna: 22:49

Yeah, it sounds like you've worked through that regret and found a way to actually just make it happen now and use that to, to propel you forward to even better places. That's incredible. And it sounds like one of the things that you are really excited about too is having things like routines in your life to really maximize your output and your efficiency. Can you talk more about that?

Billy: 23:07

Yeah. I'm a firm believer in the first 90 minutes of your day, will set the tone for your day and you need to block out those first 90 minutes from the moment you wake up. What does that look like? So I try to do the same thing. I try to wake up around the same time each and every single day, and just do the same things in those first 90 minutes. Because then it then I don't have to think so much in the first 90 minutes of the day. Like I know what the first 90 minutes of my day are going. To look like. So then that takes out some of that decision fatigue. And just being in that routine again has helped me out significantly now. And I can feel that I'm a little bit out of it because last week I was closing on my condo and I was moving everything out of my condo and having all sorts of different emotional experiences as I'm boxing everything up and taking everything out. So I wasn't in my routine last week. When I know what that routine is going to be, I function and I'm so much more productive when I know what those first 90 minutes are going to look like. And even the last 90 minutes of your day too, your last 90 minutes can look the same. If you can make them as structured and as predictable as possible with some flexibility in there. If you do that, you're going to find that your level of productivity significantly increases. And I also have something I don't like to do list, because I think to do lists make you, it's just busy work. I like using what I call a CHIPS list, so. I created this, I feel very proud. CHIPS list is complete. What is it that you need to complete today? You can do a, a daily CHIPS list or you can do a weekly CHIPS list, whatever one makes you feel more productive. But I like to do a, a daily CHIPS list and, and when I go into my office and say, These are the things that have to get done today, you cannot. Not complete these things, these have to get done today. And when those things are done, then you go to the H, which is Hooray! So you should celebrate when you have completed the first first couple of things. And an I PS stands for in progress. Or start. So if you have more time

Shawna: 25:41

mm.

Billy: 25:41

you're feeling more productive, and if you have the energy, you can continue moving things along in your in progress or start box right there. Those are things that do not necessarily need to get done today. There are things that you can kind kick the can down the road, so to speak, but you should just know that at some point in time you're gonna need to address those. So can you, can you progress on them? Go ahead and work on 'em. Is there something that you need to start? Maybe it's something easy that you could start just, or something that you've been procrastinating on and you're like, If I just start it for 10 minutes today, then tomorrow. It'll be the in the in progress box, and I'll feel a bit more productive. Then again, maybe after you're done with your complete list, maybe you're done, maybe you're done, and you just go and celebrate with a delicious slice of carrot cake.

Shawna: 26:37

That's awesome. Billy, you haven't listened to my, podcast, but we actually have a whole podcast episode on to do list. This is funny. I love that we have all of this cross, stuff and like the, the little clip that's out on my social media is let the rest go and celebrate. And I say only three things a day that you have to do. And then you have a things not to lose list. So yours is better cuz you have letters for yours. But you and I speaking the same thing. So everyone listening, you can listen to Billy. I totally agree with him. That's exactly what I think you should be doing. So if it works better to do CHIPS, do that. If not, you can just listen to that other episode about yes, let the rest go and celebrate and things not to lose list instead of a to-do list cuz there's only three things a day. And stop making yourself crazy with the pages and pages of things to do So we are on the same wavelength.

Billy: 27:25

I think too, like, you know, I like this idea of, of three things, because then it eliminates procrastination to an extent, because then what you're saying is, is like, well, you know, if if I have three things right here that I, need to get those three things done, because if I don't, then I'm gonna have four things tomorrow, and if I don't, then I'm gonna have five things the next day. So I, I like that. A lot of times the things that I'm trying to tackle are maybe half hour jobs, right? So, so I'm just tackling those things. So I, do have far more than three things on the complete list, but I think it's because I break 'em down. Very specifically, like they're itemized. I'm a spreadsheet person. I love being a good spreadsheet and spreadsheets, itemized things so beautifully, and you color code them. absolutely wonderful. So yeah, I, I like, I like being able to itemize things and break 'em down step by step, because then I can really feel a sense of accomplishment.

Shawna: 28:30

That works. I like that you had the celebration in there, which makes me very happy. So you get points. You're the only other person I know that celebration is part of their process, so yay for that. I like it. So as we start, to wind things down. What else do you do for self-care? It sounds like your routines are part of what you do for self-care. What else do you do for self-care? For part of our self-care spotlight,

Billy: 28:51

Yeah. You know, I, I, I do need to get back into my mindfulness practice here, and like I said, I'm out of my routine right now. I'm trying to get back into my routines here. I'm 45, so I'm still fairly athletic and I feel fairly fit, but I'm not the most limber. So I do a 15 minute mobility flow that I created, and then I also have a 22. Stretching routine that I do in the evening. Otherwise, like I feel like the Tin man and I need that. That's my oil can right there is doing the mobility and stretching routines and I'm a certified personal trainer and if I'm not fit, if I'm not going to the gym, then really what's the proof of purchase right there? Right? Like, I just feel like it's important. For me, just my own body, just my own mental health, just my own physical health that I get in and, and lift heavy stuff from time to time. So those are things that I do. I also make sure that I surround myself with positive people.

Shawna: 30:00

Mm-hmm.

Billy: 30:01

One thing so, you know, I'm 45, I'm single. I used to spend so much time on dating apps, and I, I even when I first started traveling in Portugal, and in Mexico. I used dating apps quite a bit, but I was using them more as a, Hey, I'm traveling solo. I'd like to find somebody in Hangout. And if you're cute, that's a plus too, right? So what I, what happened though is, I would be continually disappointed, and I'm sure from time to time the people I met were also disappointed.

Shawna: 30:39

Nothing's perfect. Yes.

Billy: 30:40

So I understand that the disappointment was probably mutual, but I, I felt like I was putting too much stock into trying to meet somebody on dating apps. And when I met this hiking group through Meetup,

Shawna: 30:56

Mm-hmm.

Billy: 30:57

That completely changed everything, and I'm such a huge proponent of Meetup because you meet people in person. You, you oftentimes can meet a group and you're finding people who share a, a, a common interest. Right. You're finding people, and, the hard part a lot of times is finding a friend. Who will go with you to something that you're really interested in because people are busy. Right. But with meetup groups, particularly with this meetup group, it was a hiking group and you can just take a subway into the mountains in Seoul it's, it's incredible. You just meet people at the subway stop and there's 20, 30 built in new friends for you right there, and you start talking to people and, and you click with this person, you don't click with this person. So you go and talk to the first person you met. It's, I cannot recommend something like Meetup enough, especially. If you are a middle aged single dude, or if you're just a guy who you know, your social life, revolves around your wife, who doesn't want you around all the time either. She's got friends, she's made friends. She wants you to go and have your own friends. If you're feeling isolated, if you're feeling recluses. And I really wanna stress this too, for, middle-aged men out there, because middle-aged men have some of the highest rates of suicide and, and it's something that people do not address. It's something that people do not talk about. I think, listen, I think middle-aged men get a bad rap from time to time. Now some of it's because of some of the things that we've done in the past, right? but

Shawna: 32:47

Yeah, but that social isolation, the inability to feel connected is really important.

Billy: 32:52

It is. And I, I really feel that that is a contributing factor to the high suicide rates, particularly in, middle aged men. And in 75 plus men, 75 year old and older men have extremely high rates of suicide. And I feel my theory on that is that social isolation. So it's really important. To take care of ourselves through socialization. Women are really good at socializing, and, I mean, that's maybe just a, a generic statement right

Shawna: 33:27

Well, we're socialized to socialize as we get to, You know what I mean? We're raised to do that.

Billy: 33:32

Yeah. And, and, and men, you know, men are not allowed to talk about their feelings. And I, I saw somebody just the other day that that's drove me crazy. And I, the first episode that we're doing in season six is about this. I saw somebody post something on there that said, No more men talking mental health on podcasts. And it's like,

Shawna: 33:51

Oh

Billy: 33:52

why are you perpetuating this stigma? And shaming men for talking about their mental health. We need more men to talk about mental health. That's one of the reasons why we created our podcast, was so that we could talk about mental health and get other people on to share their expertise and their experiences. Around emotional intelligence, around mindfulness, around mental health, around physical health, so that people knew that they weren't alone and that we can create this sense of empathy. And the more that we, we socialize and the more that we hear other people's stories, the more empathetic and more aware we become.

Shawna: 34:35

Yeah.

Billy: 34:36

it's really important that we get out and we socialize, especially coming out of this pandemic. So, Download the Meetup app. Find yourself some people to hang out with, especially if you are in this recluse, isolated state. Bring yourself out of that because you will find a, a renewed sense of fun and enjoyment.

Shawna: 35:02

All right. I love this. I love this for your, your thing to do for self-care, and also we have our little moment of something that's actionable to take from this. Time together that people join us for, and I would love for everyone to take that. And it might be for you that you need to make connections. So you need to download the meetup app. You need to find a way to find a group for you to connect within your community, in person and push yourself to go do that. And for some of you, you get to pick up your phone and call that friend you already have that's in your community and push them to make a time to actually get together or push them to have a phone conversation or take a walk or go to dinner, or go to lunch or to see each other because you haven't, Because the pandemic has conditioned us to not. Connect and spend time in person with people. And so really to find a way to connect If it's zooming with your friend across the country, your friend who just moved to, to Korea, if that happened, like that will be our, our push for today. That everyone needs to connect. Find a way to connect, meet up, download. Get on the phone, get on Zoom. Go to lunch. Go for a walk. Everyone listening. That's your, that's your challenge for right now to make that happen. I like it.

Billy: 36:11

Well, and, and do it before it's too late too, because you, I'm going to Korea and all of a sudden I've got these people coming out of the woodwork. Wait, you're moving to Korea. Well, let's hang out. And it's like, Well, why you don't wanna hang? How come you didn't wanna hang out

Shawna: 36:25

No.

Billy: 36:26

Yeah. And, and of course I'm like, No, you know what? Let's make some time. And I appreciate the fact that they've reached out let's continue to stay connected and let's continue to network and, and, uh, because you just never know when, when someone will be unavailable or someone's gonna move or something else happens. So go ahead and reach out to people and make those connections.

Shawna: 36:47

Make it happen, and this is perfect timing for how can we stay connected to you, Billy?

Billy: 36:53

Oh, if you wanna stay connected to me, you should contact me. You can DM me on Instagram. That's where I pretty much hang out most of my time. Uh, at Mindful underscore, Midlife Underscore or Crisis, you can go to the website www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com. You can click on contact and you can sign up for the newsletter. We send weekly meditations through that. We send information about the Reflect, learn, grow program we send. Just fun little nuggets about, you know, what's going on with our guests. If you wanna check out what they have going on, all sorts of things in the newsletter, you can send me an email via the contact page as well.

Shawna: 37:31

Awesome. Wonderful. Thank you so much for being here today. We definitely enjoyed getting to know you a little bit better. And all your different angles, and I'm excited for your adventure in Korea and excited for your, your podcast and reflect, learn, grow, and all the, the things that are gonna come out of that. So thank you for being here.

Billy: 37:48

Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

Shawna: 37:50

And thanks to all of you for showing up and being here with us today. I hope we take to heart those steps around connecting that Billy shared. I will also remind you that we offer free samples of our coloring pages on our website, so head on over to TheGritShow.Com to grab your copy and integrate them into your self care routine. As our days get shorter and the weather gets a bit more gray and rainy, you may even consider getting yourself a copy of the full coloring book. Our next edition, which is all about the quotes, will come out before the end of November and be ready for the holidays. The link is in the show notes or just Google the Color of Grit. And in case no one has mentioned it lately, you are the only one of you that this world has got, and that really does mean something. I look forward to connecting with you again next week.