TT Gratitude, Regret, & Letting Go -22

November 15, 2022 Shawna Rodrigues Season 1 Episode 22
TT Gratitude, Regret, & Letting Go -22
Show Notes Transcript

Is there something that you want in your life? Something that you wish you had room for? What might you let go of to invite that in? 
Gratitude and Regret are two very different emotions and today Shawna shares how gratitude may be the key to letting go; and that sometimes letting go starts with letting go of regret. This week we are revisiting the one-on-one style of Thursday Thoughts- but on a Tuesday with the longer length of our Tuesday episodes. 
Let us know what you think!

Other podcast episodes referenced in this podcast:

TT The Power of Being Thankful -10

TT Bucket Lists -04

Breakthroughs & Breathwork w/Benedict Beaumont -21

Looking for Purpose? First Find Stillness w/Parm Saggu -16

Reflect, Learn, Grow; Shifts in Purpose and the Importance of Connection w/Billy Lahr -19

TT To Do Lists- Friend or Foe? -08

TT Cherry Blossoms, Epigenetics, & the Legacy of Trauma -06

Other topics of interest mentioned on this episode:
No Shave November/Movember
National Novel Writing Month - NaNoWriMo

Gratitude Outloud! Campaign on Instagram Accounts to follow:
Authentic Connections Network- @37by27
Author Express Podcast- @authorexpresspodcast
Shawna Rodrigues (your host!)- @ShawnaPodcasts
The Grit Show- @The.Grit.Show

Shawna Rodrigues is the city girl next door who is a connoisseur of apple cider doughnuts, the perfect peach, the right balance of vanilla in a London Fog, and beach sand the perfect density for long walks. 

An author, coach, and consultant, Shawna spent the first two decades of her career supporting children, families, and communities as a therapist, specialist, and director in the private and public sectors. Her impact and depth of dedication prompted the alumni association at Boston University to acknowledge her accomplishments with an award for “Outstanding Contributions to the Field of Social Work.”

In 2022 she found her calling in podcasting when she launched The Grit Show (; a podcast for th

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Gratitude and Regret. Two very different emotions. Different enough that you might even say that they're the opposite of each other. What do you think? Has regret ever made it harder for you to experience gratitude? Harder to experience joy. Do you think gratitude can move you further from regret? Do you think gratitude might be the antidote for regret? Welcome to The Grit Growth on purpose. I'm grateful you found us. We are community of scrappers. Who've had the opportunity to demonstrate our grit. And now we're growing together. Uh, seekers and Thrivers. Learning a little each week that brings more joy and ease into our life. I'm your host, Shawna Rodrigues. And you are joining us for a unique episode. When the podcast first began, we had two episodes a week, one on Tuesday. There was more conversational in its format and had guesses. That we're thought leaders. And then another on Thursday. These ones were shorter. And I had you all to myself. We called those Thursday thoughts. They were only 10 to 15 minutes and I got to talk to you one-on-one. The topics varied a lot. They vary from the power being thankful, which we dived into on episode 10, to the Thursday Thought episode on bucket lists, which was number four. And another on to-do list, episode eight. And cherry blossoms and the conversation around the genetic traces of trauma. That one was episode six. Although it tie for seventh in the ratings of our 20 episodes so far The Grit Show. It is consistently the top episode to come up in real-world conversations. This week, we're doing something different and our merging our formats, the one-on-one aspect of the, just for you and I Thursday, thoughts. And the longer format for our Tuesday slots. Since November, and I'm part of the exciting graduate out loud campaign. You're going to revisit gratitude a little bit. But only little since we already have episode 10, where we talk about the power of being thankful. We're also going to spend a little time chatting about resentment and letting go. Which I think plays well into it all also. Even last week's episode on breakthroughs and breathwork with Benedict, there was hints of that that came up. You might've noticed. For some of you. We've been chatting pretty regularly for awhile now. Others of you. This might be your first introduction to me. Either way, We are going to add to the bits and pieces. You might've heard them various episodes. And we are going to do a bio. Like we normally to introduce our guests on the show. So here you are. This is the bio of Shawna Rodrigues, I'm the city girl next door. A connoisseur of apple cider donuts, the perfect peach, The right balance of vanilla in a London fog. Yes, the drink, not the weather constellation. And beach sand, the perfect density for long walks. In 2020, I realized one of my lifelong dreams and had my first first novel, published. And was thrilled in 2021 when I became an international best selling author with it. This is after I spent the first decades of my career supporting children, families, and communities in a variety of roles. From therapist to mental health consultant to director programs. All with non-profits and public roles in this. Local state The highlight of all of this was in the alumni association at Boston university, acknowledged me for my outstanding contributions to the field of social work. That meant a lot. There are many stories on my journey and you've heard some of them here. And there are still far more to share. Believe it or not. But my true calling is podcasting. And the launching of this, The Grit Show. A podcast for the warriors, givers and doers with the focus on self care, growth, and actual steps, the lead you to thrive, and make a positive impact on your life. After learning the abysmal fact that only 27% of podcasts are hosted by women. Yes, 27%. If you haven't heard that enough, you need to. I set out to develop the Authentic connections network for podcasters. It takes the tech and stress out of podcasting and get the meaningful results to fulfill the goal of 37 by 27. That's kind of our motto. Thirty-seven% of podcasts hosted by women by 2027. It's official launches in January, but I've already started working one-on-one with some early adopters and I'm having an amazing time doing it. I'm an avid traveler and visited all 50 of the US states. And I've lived in countless communities on both coasts and in the South. Covering a total of seven states. I've gained greatly from the people and experiences I've had each of these places. And I currently live in Oregon. With the love of my life. Who is also quite a story, and this is the same state where I was born. I value deep conversations have immense gratitude for the incredible people in my life. And gain inspiration from the new people I meet and the perspectives that they offer. One of the many reasons I love podcasting. And I truly hope that you take this as an invitation to hop onto Instagram or Facebook and drop me a DM. Tell me a little bit about yourself and introduce you to me since this is our time for a one-on-one conversation. And I would love to hear back from you. So. As we launch into this episode, it is November. So, do you know what that means? It means a few things. It means. That you may start to notice more beards and mustaches as it is no shave November. AK Movember. Which I was confused by at first, but. I researched and I learned more in preparation for this episode. And I was actually slightly embarrassed that I didn't already know that it is about raising funds for men's health and men's health research. Did you know that it's much more than just facial hair? Like I knew it was no shave November and the Movember thing confused me, but, but there's more to it. So there's actually an option that they have about moving 60 miles over the month. And the purpose behind that is to do this for the 60 men, we lose every hour to suicide, which goes back to our episode we have Billy Lahr on and he was talking about some of the importance around that. So, there's a whole way to support that. We will have that in the show notes. So it is more than just facial hair. It's about men's health. So I was thrilled to actually learn about that. It is also NaNoWriMo, which is often shortened to nano. Which I will elongate cause. I'll probably confuse some of you. It is national novel writing month nano- national novel wrimo writing month. Okay. So now, you know what that word means. If you hear it in passing and in conversation. And it is quite a really exciting movement. It is actually what got me started writing what later became my debut novel. I started it probably 10 years before I finished it. I wrote the first couple of chapters, which again, I did not. Accomplish NaNoWriMo and write a novel. During national novel writing month. But one November when there was space in my world, which, you know, it's hard to find a November with space in your world sometimes. I found it November with space and I met with a friend and he, and I would write. And that is how I started my novel that I would later finish, over the course of almost probably 10 months that I worked on that novel. I actually finished it. Um, but I started during national novel writing month and it is a great opportunity. So that's also something that happens in November. So November, it's very big, exciting month, but I will also put a link to that. So if you've ever thought about writing a novel, which who knows, maybe my intro helped inspire you. I was at, I've been a number of writing conferences right now. I'm in Las Vegas at a writing conference, actually. And I've been surprised and impressed. At how many wonderful writers have Met that I have learned have participated in NaNoWriMo, at some point in their career. And so it's very inspiring and great to be part of, even if you don't actually finish your novel. Like I didn't, but it was part of what got me to start my novel in the first place, though. It is a very exciting movement if you're interested in writing. Word to the wise, and I'll put it in the show notes that. If that tickled your ears somehow. It is also the month where Thanksgiving lands the US our neighbors in Canada have that much earlier in October. Which I will muse about later in December. When I was first making my notes for this episode, I was just musing about it. And then I actually in interim had an interview I guess from Canada. So we talked about a little bit. But their timing aligns more with the harvest and kind of makes more sense to me. So I've always been confused though about, about our timing. As it is connected to the harvest, but I think actually has to The fact there wasn't as much food is kind of the historical piece in the US with our Thanksgiving holiday, but, um, it would make more sense to me to have it in October, like they do in Canada. So we don't cram it all together. So we were like sliding straight from, from the Thanksgiving into Christmas. And, uh, Hanukkah and other holidays kind of fall, like, all right in there. I always thought it was funny that you'd had Thanksgiving break at college and then you barely go back and do your little bit of classes and your final exams. And then you'd be off for the winter break. It was just kind of nuts, how they kind of crammed it in next to the final weeks of the year. But I think I be confused if they moved to anywhere else. So the US holiday for Thanksgiving. Cause we do actually have listeners on every continent. An unexpected perk of having a podcast is actually in the top 10% of all podcasts. Right. We do have the fewest downloads from Africa by far. So he know of a great guest in Africa that I should have on the show. Totally send me a note about it so that maybe we can get some more downloads from Africa. It'd be fun to get that number up. Anyways. As I was saying; for people that live, send different contents, they may not be familiar with how we do things in the US. Our Thanksgiving is very different in meaning for different people. So you can look at the historical Thanksgiving, but it's It really is just a day of watching football. That really is it. And I spoke to a friend of mine that I saw just the other day and for her, she hates the cooking and it really is they just have lunch with her and her kids and they keep it as simple as possible because for her, the food was a stressor. And so they took the food out of it. For other people, it's a wonderful opportunity to spend time with family and to get to see family. And it's a time of year that all the family come together. And they love it because it doesn't have the gifts and pressure of other holidays, even though it is all about the food. For other people. They don't like the family aspect of it. And they're super stressed out because it is the holiday where they do become, entrenched in getting to see all of their relatives and all of their family. I mean, there's plenty of skits and movies and comedy around Thanksgiving and bringing the family together. So there's that. For other people? It is the one holiday that revolves around pumpkin pie. And they love pumpkin pie. And that is like the most exciting day of entire year, because the one day you get pumpkin pie. It changes. So, you know, it can make a little sense for us about why it is. It also has a very complicated association because of the historic oppression of indigenous people in our country also has ties to this holiday. So there's also those that don't celebrate at all, which I definitely, Honor that as well and respect that. So, whether you love it for football, pumpkin pie, Yuck. Not me. Ugh, not, one of those, or you don't even celebrate it. For me, because we all have our own associations. I have gratitude at the forefront for Thanksgiving. I mean, thanks is in the title. When I was a kid, I had a large family. And I think I talk about this in another episode we have as well, but there's six of us in our family. So four kids and my parents. And so we didn't get invited over for dinner at people's houses. There was a lot of us, most people we knew might have two kids, but they definitely didn't invite all of our family for dinner. And so that didn't often happen and we didn't live near extended family. And so Thanksgiving, every year, the same family would invite us over for Thanksgiving and every year, we were surprised, impressed and blessed and thrilled that we got invited to their house for Thanksgiving. And so there was just something about the holiday for me, that represented like that they were giving to us to, to open their home to us and invite them into their home. And we were incredibly thankful, or I was incredibly thankful that we got to go spend this day with them and play games in their game room at their house and get to have this big dinner with them and their family. And I have my own kind of pie that I liked and they always had it there. Cause it was never made at my house. So it was always about that. And so for me, that's what Thanksgiving always was. And as I got older and I went to college in Louisiana and Louisiana was very far from home. And I went home, the first year, my mother I had a really hard time I was gone, So I went home for Thanksgiving that first year, but the other years I was too far away to come home for Thanksgiving. It was that people open their homes to me to have Thanksgiving with them. I've always had like this immense gratitude and this welcoming thing that comes with Thanksgiving for me. So. That might be why the course or project I chose for the launch of author express, which is a podcast I'm, co-hosting that's intent on discovering the voices behind the pages of your favorite books and is launching on the final day of November, the 30th. It's all about gratitude. This cornerstone project. You can find it on Instagram, it's authors expressing gratitude. Get it. Author express authors anyways. So as part of gratitude out loud for the next few weeks. It's all about gratitude because for me, November, Thanksgiving is all about gratitude. And in episode 10, I talk all about. The power of being thankful and how important that can be in changing your perspective and changing your life in many positive ways, the benefits of it and the science behind And how I really implemented it into practice. It really impacted my life. And I really started thinking about it again after our episode with, with Billy. Because on our episode with Billy. He talked about regret, And not listening to anybody who says to live life with no regrets. Which I might be somebody who I don't think I say that, out loud. I don't know if you're listening to this and you're actually friends with me. Let me know if I've ever said that to you. Cause I don't know if I would say it, but I wouldn't think of not saying it. I feel like I am definitely a seize the moment kind of girl, you get that from my. One of the top episodes in the podcast about seizing the moment and not having a bucket list. Like to me, living without a bucket list. Isn't as simple as, you know saying like live with no regrets, but it's very similar. That's funny,I should look up the transcript maybe I do say that in that episode, But, but what he was saying, like, don't listen to anyone who says that I was like, wait a minute. Like, I don't think I live with regrets. I don't do regrets. I'm not somebody who does regrets. And it might be that it may be some level of fault that I equate regret and resentment. And maybe I put those too close together and they're two different emotions. And so that could just be a way that I'm looking at things. But for me, like that ability to have gratitude for things and to look at what to be grateful for. Again, staying away from the bright side. Like I'm somebody, who's not a fan of, just look at the bright side, always the bright side. I was definitely raised very Pollyanna and watched Pollyanna and loved Pollyanna. But there's this thing about this toxic positivity, right? Of always having to see the bright side, always having to look so much at the positive that you. Ignore the negative to like, uh, to a fault. And that's something that never sat well with me. And so that's where I think gratitude resonates so beautifully with me is because it's like the antidote it's the it's not covering it up is actually curing it actually resolving. It's actually finding a different frame for things instead of like brushing over them and just covering them with tar. So they don't exist. Right. It's actually resolving them. And chemically changing it into something else which sits so much better and resonates so deeply with me. When you do that instead. And so that's why I love gratitude so much because Finding a way to really see the things that you're grateful for and the things that really resonate. So we have an episode. Coming up in December where we talk about grief. And there was somebody else. I'd seen something on Instagram talking about toxic positivity and how people will say, you know, well, at least they're no longer suffering. Which is again, is somebody trying to brush it over or ignore it or work around it or put tar over the top of it. And this isn't anything that the person who was the guest talked about with grief. Um, I don't, I don't believe that something specific, she said at all with it, but it's this concept that instead, if, if we look to gratitude, right. Instead of trying to say this well, at least, right. Which I feel is toxic positivity, the well, at least stuff. If we looked at gratitude and said to be able to say to them, I am so thankful that I got to spend time with this person. That I got to have this person in my life. If this person we've lost was part of our lives and that I gained from them. If we look at that gratitude for that person. That we aren't brushing up and painting over and like, "well, at least" stuff. It's not trying to ignore what's really happening. It's actually shifting towards something beautiful and good and something we're genuinely grateful for and looking at a different angle instead of just covering things up. And that's, I love gratitude so much. And so when it comes to that resentment place, you know what I mean? It's spending time being resentful about something instead of being, see, I changed it to resentful. Just automatically. I think that's why I said regret and resentment are really close for me. So. That is on me. So live life without that resentment, I think is something I can say. And regret is something I maybe need to look at a little more closely. But instead of looking at things as regret to look at what you were thankful for about the experience and what you were thankful for about it. So let's do a story connecting. Gratitude. And regret. So there is a relationship I had that on the face. Like I should've let go of sooner. And I think that we're going to talk a little bit more about letting go and this conversation on this episode, because that's been kind of placed on my heart and on my mind is something I've been wrestling with and looking at a little bit more and what I need to let go of to make room for things. And by looking at that relationship that I held on to for too long. And that can be a fact. And yet I don't regret holding onto that relationship for too long. It's a fact, I held onto it for too But I don't regret holding onto it for too long. I don't regret that relationship. That relationship is part of why I moved back to Oregon when I did, and when my mom was diagnosed. With her. First cancer, her breast cancer. I lived in Oregon when that happened. Because I'd moved back with this relationship that. You know, I stayed in longer than I should have. And wasn't the healthiest relationship I was in, but it was part of my process and part of my growth and I'm thankful for the growth and I'm thankful for who I am today. And that's part of me becoming who I am today. And so I don't look at that with regret. I look at the gratitude for the things that I'm grateful that I got out of that. Instead of having a frame of regret, I have a frame of gratitude that I put on things, and I'm very grateful for what I gained because of that. And when I look at where I'm at right now in life. Like right now I have. One of the things that I probably would talk about the most or one of the things that's highest on my list of things that I'm like looking forward to manifest. The next house that my partner and I are going to be living in. And we've actually named it. We're calling it our Arcadia house, which makes it easier for us to manifest it. And we actually don't know where it's going to be. Don't know when it's going to be, but we're starting to imagine and prepare and think of the space we want to be in because the house we're in now is 700 square feet and that is too small. That's not big enough. I need room to have friends over for dinner. I need room to have my art space. I need a closet where I don't have to change out my wardrobe for the seasons because I barely get one season put up, and it's time for me to, to get it back out again. And I travel enough to different climates. I need to have all in one place. Like there are things that I need and my space right now, doesn't accommodate for that. And it would be really easy for this to be an area for regret because I purchased my home a handful of years ago. And I was in the process of purchasing it when I actually caught a glimpse. Of my now fiance after not seeing him for 20 years. And. Within a month and a half of purchasing it. He and I were together and within five months of purchasing it. He moved in and it was not big enough. It's arguable it wasn't big enough for just me. And I had sold a home that was more than four times its size when I purchased this house. So it would seem, this would be an easy place to invite in regret when I'm in my space it's too crammed, there's not enough room in my office to fully unpack. There's furniture we still need to get rid of because they haven't transitioned fully. We moved to a larger place during the pandemic and had tenants that weren't able to pay rent. And so we were paying for our mortgage and our, our rent at the other place and had to move multiple times. So there's lots of room in this whole story for regret. And that's kind of the point of why I bring it up. I'm really excited for my next home. But I honestly believe, and this is where the letting go comes in. That the house that I had, I had a house that I loved. That is one of the examples On one of my episodes of the beautiful things I was able to manifest in my life. Possibly one of my bucket list, things that I bought my dream house. It was everything I could have imagined. I loved that house. It was a place that my entire family, like I said, I have a bigger family could come for the holiday, and I had a room for everyone to be there. I could cook for everyone. I had a big, beautiful yard. We built a waterfall in my backyard when I was going through a stressful, stressful time. We had this gorgeous waterfall that my dad came and built it for me. And I got to go and enjoy it when I was going through an extremely stressful time in my life. And I got to plant there. I had trees. It was just beautiful. My home, it was in Yakima, Washington. And my home is like forever will be this beautiful, happy place for me. And I'm so grateful I had that house. And the magical way it came into being for me when I found it, when I bought it, all of the respite it was for me. That space I had there, my office, everything. It was just magical. And I met incredible people when I was there. It was beautiful. And I held onto it even at a time when I had my partner at the time wanting me just to sell it and let it go because they were scared for our future and I didn't and holding onto it, brought more good things to me. And it It was wonderful. It was all very positive. And then I was actually living in Portland, Oregon, and working in a different town an hour from there and still holding onto my house and renting out rooms. And it was still this wonderful, beautiful respite for me. And then a big family situation happened. And I was maintaining this home that was in this one location. I was living in a different location. I was hours away supporting family in a different location and it was all too much. And so that was when I decided I need to sell that home. And buy a home where I lived, which necessitated a much smaller home. Which is the home I have currently. And all of these shifts. And it was, it was hard letting go of that house was really hard. Like even now. You can probably hear my voice. I'm on the verge of tears. Cause it was really hard to let go of that house, but it was so important for me to let go of that house. To make room in my life for other things. And the cosmic coincidence of me letting go of that house and the love of my life walking into my life. Like it was like, so I could probably look at the closing date. And the date that I saw him again, and they were literally like right next to each other. It was incredible, like how that timing worked. And there was a sense that I had that I needed to let go of that house. In order to go to that next phase of my own life. As well as be more present for a lot of Complicated things happening in my family. And. I am so thankful that I did let go of that house. And so thankful that I made that transition and found love in my life because he is worth 10 of those houses. Like he is the most amazing thing. He is home to me, no matter where we are. And he is so much more important than a physical building. And that's why I'm also excited for us to find our Arcadia home, our home together. There's going to be even more incredible because it's ours and it's ours shared. And so the importance of not having regret with that, Like, if you listened to me, like when I was stressed out about my tenants and paying my mortgage and paying the rent. If you listen to me when I was selling that house and it was so hard. If you listen to me when I'm stressed out about not having space in my office about not having space in my home about. Like. I feel like you would expect there to be some level of regret and all of that. And there isn't like, I am so resolute with all of the decisions and changes and shifts that I've made. And I feel like gratitude makes that all possible. And the knowledge that letting go is so important. To be able to open myself up to invite other things into my life. And it is so hard to let go. And I feel like regret. Makes it even harder. And I feel like there is more between those three things of regret and gratitude and letting go that if you hold onto regret, You can't let go of things. And that gratitude makes it more possible to release the regret. So you can let go of the things that aren't serving you. So you can invite better things into your life. And I promise you that there are times in my life where some of the letting go, and some of the lack of regret, is simply a practice of, because it was too hard to hold anything that was similar to the regret or that felt like the regret. When there is a big family situation that happened in 2017, December, 2017. So we're coming up on the the five-year anniversary of that. That is actually going to be a book that I will one day, write, called Daughter of the Accused. And it was a very tragic situation with my family. And I dropped everything to be present for my family and it was, it was a big decision, but it was very important to me that I did it. Without regret and with a clear heart, if you've heard that term with a very clear heart, That I did it knowing that's where my priority needed to be. And that's where I wanted my priority to be. And I was grateful. I could do that. And the, I found the gratitude in doing that. I think that when my mother was sick, when I was in that challenging relationship that was not healthy. And I was in a very stressful job. I had a lot, I didn't have the gift of gratitude at that time. And it was a lot harder to do things. Everything feeling very heavy. And like I was moving through mud to do all of those things. And this second situation I went there. My family was even more stressful and more of a burden at If that makes sense. And yet I did it without regret, and I did it with gratitude and was present of, of knowing that I was grateful for that time. And knowing that I looked back on the time I had my mother before she passed. And grateful for those days that I was with her in those trips that I took and the time that I made her a priority and the, I did not regret those decisions and the importance of me framing and being grateful for those times and how important that was to me. That it made it possible. For me to do that later as well, with this other round, with my family, when I was needed for my family. And that I made the choice to do those things without regret. And how important that was to be able to let go of all the other things that I couldn't prioritize and all the other things that I couldn't give myself fully to, because I couldn't. And part of that was a decision of letting go of my dream house. And I literally, I. I was 12 years old and it picked up the place. I wanted to build a house when I got older, like having a house has always been a dream for me. And hugely important to me, it was crazy how long I waited to be able to buy my house. And then the first house they bought was my dream house. And it really was, and that was a huge blessing, and I am so grateful for that. But then giving that up was a huge to give that up and let that go. But it was so important. And it's interesting because I've been feeling very stretched, thin. And I just went and traveled to the east coast and spent time with some very important, valuable people that I cared deeply for. And it was so good to see them. And went to two different writing events and I'm at a writing event right now. And my heart and my calling is in podcasting. And it has been very challenging trying to balance all of the things right now. Trying to balance the love of my life and a wedding that's happening in the late spring. And all these people I haven't seen for 33 months because of the pandemic and spending time with them and the writing and focusing on writing and wanting to focus on podcasting and building my network. And. All of these things and feeling so pulled and really realizing that. I just need to let go. I just need to let go, and I need to let go without regret and I need to be grateful for the opportunities I have and follow my gratitude and use that in a way that can help me find where I need to focus. Just like I chose to let go of my house. To make space for things that are more important. And beautiful things. I'm so grateful that came into my life. But I need to clear out some things and let go of some things And so as I've been doing that, And thinking through all of that. I want to chat with all of you and give you that opportunity, especially as we get towards the end of the year. And you start looking at the things in your life. What your grateful for. What do you want to put more intention into time for? And then think about those things that Bordered on regret. And no judgment because I understand that I have this close association between regret and resentment and. That I have strong associations regret. So I don't want to put those on you. You need to be where you are with things. But I will say that when I was with a friend back east and they told me that they regret something every day, that just felt so heavy to me. And that just felt like something that I couldn't be in that space. I couldn't have something that was pulling me and having me feel stuck. And so being stuck is not something I want for you. If regret is an emotion that's helping to propel you towards things. And to helping you make good decisions, then I, Bless you and hope you can explore that emotion in a way that is bringing good things into your life. If it can help you let go of things, then I invite you to look at that. I need to work more on letting go. That is a theme for me. Letting go is not easy for me. In fact, I do distinctly remember realizing that letting go isn't really a verb. Letting go is not an action. It's not some big movement you take. Some big thing you do. Letting go was not doing. That concept was hard for me. It was hard for me to recognize that letting go was just that. It was no longer holding on. It was no longer being attached. It was the opposite of doing. It was not doing it was letting go. Just some things to think about. And just a time for you to look at. As we think about our Grit Wit, as we think about what you can apply as you move into your life and move through your week and walk away from this episode. To look at what in your life might be something you need to let go of. It may not be as big as a house. It may not be as big as a part of your career. But even looking at our conversation. With Benedict. Part of his letting go part of his whole trip. He let go of a career in IT. To move into a helping profession of being a teacher and serving others in that regard. And then it was time he got burnt out. Which we have an episode December about burnout. So may need to listen to that, if that resonates with you also. But then he went on this big trek and this big trip. And he also found love of his life on that trip. Right. That was also part of his letting go of those other things and making room in his life for that person. And for that life. And he found all those things. So he needs let go of a lot for that to happen. He let go of his entire life and found he had a whole other life waiting for him on the other side of it. And I think that for me, With the podcasting, with my career, I had a beautiful career as we noted in the beginning. Beautiful career. In social work as a mental health consultant, serving children and families. Doing organizational stuff at the state. And national level with amazing thing with young kids and families. I did incredible things. I'm proud of. I really enjoy, they meant a lot to me. And it was time to let go of that. Some things. I had to have some messages I'm nudging to find it, let go of those things and to move on to that. And I really thought that writing was supposed to be my primary focus. And I need to let go of the writing a little bit because podcasting, this is where I'm supposed to be my network. And this, this is my calling. And this is where I need to be. And that's still part The writing cell part of it. I still have books to write. I still have pieces to do. But right now, I need to let go of that piece a little bit so I can focus more on the podcasting and more about where I would need to be. And you have to let go of things to make room for these other big things. That are coming into your life. So, what are some of the things that you might need to let go of? What are the things that you're holding on to sometimes it's old flames, sometimes it's. Entire houses sometimes it's a thing that. You always thought you might do when you've never done and you realize it's not meant for you. It doesn't serve you. It's no longer the dream you want. We talk about that a little bit on the bucket list episode, right? We talk about. You know, do you really want to go to New Zealand or is it that you've always wanted to go to a beach or is it the person that talked about that? That is somebody you want to spend time with? Or do you want a relationship like you had with that persons? What you're actually looking for? Like what you need to let go of? So you can make room for things in your life. So I'm letting go of things. I'm making room for the Arcadia house. It was the love of my life. I'm making room for this. Amazing podcast network, where I get to help people launch their podcasts and launch their dreams. And I'm loving. It is amazing is definitely my calling. It definitely lines up with all my skills and all my gifts, and my desire to serve and make change happen in the world and talk. And connect and get to know people and make an impact. I love it. And writing is incredible, but it doesn't quite do all those things the way I want to, but there's still things left for me to write that come a time and place for that. But right now, I need to let go of that and I need to focus on my podcasting. So for you. What are some things. What's nagging at you. And if it doesn't come up for you, maybe go back to parms episode. Think about some. Yoga, bringing some things to the yoga mat to find that maybe go back to the episode with Benedict and do some breath work exercises. We have them right there in the episode time marked in the show notes. So that you can maybe find some of those things you might be holding on to. Maybe gratitude can help you in finding a way to let go of regret. And make room in your life for wonderful things. Because I really think it works like that. So as you walk away from this, just start pondering. What's something that you need to let go of. What might that thing be that you need to let go of? What does that one thing that if you let go of it, there would be more space for some of the other things in your life that you want to make room for. And please send me a DM. I would love to hear from you and hear what your thinking is on that. It means a lot too when I hear from you. That is partly why I'm doing this and why I love it so much. And for my self care spotlight, I'm going to share with you. I'm doing for my self care. So right now. I am at a writing conference. N. Las Vegas, 20 books to 50 K incredible conference. If you are looking to write books and you are wanting to do it independently, this is a great community, and this is a great way to do it. So I highly encourage that. But I am being very gentle with myself. They have things available online. And I am trying to make a schedule in a way that I'm able to prioritize the other pieces. And letting go of me not being able to be at all of the sessions and do all the things while I'm here. So that is my way doing self care this week. Is it? I am. Not making myself be all the places and do all the things. And prioritizing where I need to be focusing So that is one way of doing self care. The other way is I did literally bring a coloring book with me. I got my coloring book early for being a guest on the show. And I brought it with me and I brought pins And so I'm going to take time for doing some self-care by doing some coloring in my coloring book. I am also finishing up the coloring book. You guys are going to have coming out because you're going to have the next one coming out before the end of this month. So that's going to be polished up and I do love creating the coloring book that is also a creative outlet for me, just like doing the coloring So I get to work on Which would be nice and relaxing for me. And I'm also going to team walking. Strangely Las Vegas is a city that I love for walking. So. The B2B on the strip, you've got to walk to get to places. Now if only it was a little warmer y'all it's like 50 degrees today when I was out at 2:00 PM in the afternoon and Las Vegas. This is ridiculous. It was like 38 when I left Portland, but it's still ridiculous. So that is our self-care spotlight and what I'm doing for self care while I'm here. Thanks for spending this time with me today. I really did enjoy it. It was nice to get back to having some one-on-one time with you. And I would love to hear from you what you thought about it as well. Since we have moved away from this format. It would be great to get your thoughts about what you enjoyed. Or if you prefer the interviews, I can hear that as well. So let me know what you want. The show is for you. If you aren't already following on Instagram, get on over there and follow @The.Grit.Show. If you are there following us, you'll get to see some of the gratitude out loud and the stories. If you follow 37 by 27. And author express podcast. I'll put those in the show You'll be able to see all the posts firsthand coming from the different podcasters and authors that are participating in gratitude out loud. So it'll be a nice thing to have for the last couple of weeks of November to have that little bits of gratitude coming in on your feed. And you are very welcome to Your gratitude. I'd love to hear from you as well. So please add it in there. As we're getting close to the holidays. I already mentioned that we're going to be launching the second color of grit coloring book very soon. For the end of the month. So head on over to the website. And join the mailing list. So The Grit Show dot com and you'll be the first to hear about that. And you'll get the free color pages when you join the mailing list. I hope the rest of your week as well. And I look forward to being with you again next Tuesday. We'll be chatting with Shelley Mashiach about family and holidays. And a little around money mindset. I've also got some great shows planned for December. A fun episode around bringing out the joy and hosting, which will be great. As well as that heartfelt conversation as supporting others grief, especially for the holidays. And the important conversation around how to tell if you're experiencing burnout. So we mentioned both of those a little bit during this episode. So those will be coming out in December um, so keep an eye out for those. Until then take extra care of yourself. Especially as we get into this busier season, when it's harder to find time for And consider what we've talked about today. Take a deep Let go of things that aren't serving You are the only one of you. The only person with your unique perspective. Your unique gifts. Your view of the situations in front of you. So take that deep breath. And get power to that. The only one of you at this world has got. And that really does mean something. I look forward to connecting with you again next week.