Bring the Joy Back to Hosting w/ Mara the Joyful Hostess -26

[00:00:00] Shawna: Less perfection and more connection. That’s the motto for our guests today. And this might be my new favorite saying. I’m sure that with the shift in being able to have guests over, some of you may be considering or already planning to host this holiday season or in the coming months. Our fabulous guest focuses on the joy of hosting and making sure the perfection doesn’t distract from making the most of your gathering and the reason you put together the party in the first place. On today’s episode, we get some great tips and tricks. It’s a very valuable conversation and I hope you stick around to enjoy.

[00:00:49] Shawna: Today’s guest is the founder of Joyful Hostess and entertaining is in her blood. Mara grew up in a family that hosted everything from big holiday gatherings, to impromptu Sunday dinners to lively cocktail parties and she loved every second of it. She’s carried on those traditions with her own family because she believes inviting people to gather is an act of love. Joyful Hostess is on a mission to teach women to let go of perfection and bring out their own inner Joyful Hostess. Maraa does this work to put more love and joy into the world. Because when women feel good and confident about hosting more gatherings, that means more celebrations, more bringing people together, and ultimately, more joy. Support them on their journey. She’s created lots of resources to make it easy. From books to digital dunk for you party kits, an online Joyful Hosts Academy and more. You will get to learn more about her YouTube channel and blogs with recipes, tips and ideas. We’ll get to all of that as we talk to her today. Thank you so much for joining us, Mara. I’m glad you’re here.

[00:01:49] Mara: I’m so glad to be here.

[00:01:49] Shawna: I know it’s perfect timing, with the holidays coming up, we get to get all these great tips and tricks. I want to learn more about your journey to become a Joyful Hostess yourself, because this hasn’t been what you’ve done your whole life. Can you tell us a little bit about your journey to this?

[00:02:07] Mara: Sure. Yeah, you’re right. It hasn’t really been my job, so to speak. I grew up, like you said in the intro, you know, my family hosted a lot. I loved hosting. And then for work, I got into financial services. I was there for 20 years and I loved working with clients, but my favorite stuff was connecting with them. We throw corporate events and corporate parties, like that kind of stuff. I really, really love that. Like everyone, the pandemic hit and sometimes that was a blessing because you had a chance to re-evaluate and decide what you want to do from here on out. Is this something I want to continue doing? And yeah, so I looked really hard at that and I made the decision to sell my business and start Joyful Hostess. And it has been a wild ride, Shawna, let me tell you. But it’s been one that has been fun and heartbreaking and enjoyable. I’ve learned so much. I don’t think I would have changed that decision. At least not at this point.

[00:03:14] Shawna: Yes. I think you got to go with it. That is so amazing. I love the whole concept of bringing more joy and less perfection into host the same.

[00:03:24] Mara: Exactly.

[00:03:24] Shawna: So with doing this, what was the first thing that you started with? Was it doing the YouTube channel or was it with doing just like tips and tricks for people with your blog? Or where did you start?

[00:03:24] Mara: Oh, God. I started with an Instagram channel just because that was easy to just upload photos and that kind of thing. And then figured out we were talking about technology before we started, right? Figured out how to do a website, and then that way I could have a catalog of recipes that people could go to and search through some easy cocktails and easy desserts and that kind of stuff. And then from there, I started, people kept saying like, “You should start a YouTube channel.” But I’ll be honest, I was scared. I was really scared to start a YouTube channel. And then one day I just decided like, I don’t want to swear but like, “ F it. I’m just going to do it. I don’t care. I’m just going to do it.” And I did it. And I was sharing cocktails every Friday, just like easy cocktails as you can make as a hostess. And then things started to happen from there, right? Brands were reaching out and the channel was starting to grow. My Instagram is starting to grow. So, yeah, it just kind of evolved from there.

[00:04:30] Shawna: That’s so exciting. And I think it’s incredible because during the pandemic, I think we were all dreaming of hostesses and hosting.

[00:04:30] Mara: We were. All of a sudden, we realized how much we missed it. I really missed it. I said to my husband and I go, “I don’t think we’ve had any home projects finished because we were hosting something, right?” Like, “Yes!” We haven’t really done that because we haven’t had people over.

[00:04:55] Shawna: Yeah!

[00:04:56]  Mara: No, we had soup nights or something that me and my friends had done. And we had a soup night literally three weeks before the pandemic hit. And everyone’s like, “That was the last party I went to. I haven’t done this in two or three years.” And so it’s funny like how far we’ve gotten away from doing that. It got wistful back in the day when we used to get together. So this is the first holiday season for a lot of people that they’re actually having gatherings.

[00:05:13] Shawna: Yeah. Exactly. Do you have tips of starting to look at that? What are your thoughts or people that are trying to get back into that zone of celebrating and gathering again?

[00:05:31] Mara: Yeah, I would say... you don’t have to start with the big show, whether that’s Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanza... like whatever it is. You don’t have to start with a big show. It’s easy enough to just start by inviting people over for dinner. You just have people over for dinner. Just make it casual or brunch or whatever kind of celebration you want to have. And I would also say that to get back into it or to ease back into it, and I talk about this a lot, is make it easy on yourself. You don’t have to make everything from scratch. I think a lot of people get caught up in you’re seeing things on Pinterest or YouTube or whatever and you feel like you have to make all this elaborate stuff yourself like that’s the only way when you’re hosting and you don’t. So you can totally outsource that. You can go to your favorite restaurant. Support local business, get, take out, bring it home, put it on platters and invite people over. Because I guarantee you, your guests aren’t like they're not going to care. They’re really not going to care that you order take out versus doing it all yourself. So give yourself a break. Start that way. Maybe start with something small and start... can outsource if not the whole dinner, then maybe just dessert. Don’t worry about doing the desserts or the appetizers.

[00:06:40] Shawna: Yes. And focus on one thing. I think that’s part of the problem. I see people trying to do baby showers or bridal parties or whatever else, and they’re trying to do everything best interest worthy and everything they’ve seen. It says why don’t you focus on one really cool diaper cake or one really cool appetizer or one really cool design and not like to keep yourself up for three days straight trying to make everything perfect.

[00:06:55] Mara: Oh my gosh, you’re so right about that. We were actually just talking about this, that when it comes to decor, especially with the holidays coming? People get all caught up in every inch of the house that has to be decorated and actually doesn’t. So one of my tips when you’re hosting is like you said, just focus on a couple of key areas. Think about where your guests are going to be spending the time and then focus on decorating those areas. So if you’re hosting Christmas dinner, let’s say focus on making the table or the dining room beautiful. If you’re having people over for a movie night, then focus on the living room and your Christmas tree and the twinkle lights. You don’t have to make every inch decorated.

[00:07:39] Shawna: Yes. Keep it manageable, joyful. Bring the joy back into it.

[00:07:53] Mara: That’s right. And our model, like a joyful hostess, our model is less perfection and more connection. So letting... isn’t that good? I feel like when we get all caught up in things being perfect, you miss the point of what it is. And I find... even myself, I get guilty of that too. Getting caught up and like, “Oh my gosh. The perfect table setting,” or whatever. And when I think about what stresses me out, it’s because I’m so focused on the perfection piece and not focused on just the connection and the people that are coming over and spending that time together.

[00:08:15] Shawna: That’s exactly it. I talk about outcomes based communication so I’m going to have hard conversations like what is the thing I want to get out of it and focus on what I want to get out of it. And so now we just have outcomes based parties like what I want to get out of this party. I want to get out of connection. I want to have time with the people I love and care about. And that’s what really matters. And so that’s what’s important.

That’s wonderful. I just came back from a trip to the East Coast. I was gone for a few weeks. And while I was out there, they threw me a bridal party. A bridal... It was like a combination of a shower bachelorette thing, but it was kind of just gathering with friends at a friend’s house. It was lovely. It was lovely and it was great because they really did. The focus was just on us spending time together. And it was amazing because we were there for 4 hours in a blink, which I wouldn’t have thought it would have been 4 hours. But we didn’t play games. There was food, it was lovely and simple and there was a theme to the guest because I’m an author. I’m a writer and I love books. Everyone gave me a copy of their favorite book was what the host is... Isn’t that lovely?

[00:09:38] Mara: What a great idea!

[00:09:40] Shawna: Yeah, the hostess came up with that. She did a beautiful job. So props, Carolyn, you’re getting props for this. So she came up with that idea. Everyone gave me a copy of their favorite book to read. And it was so small and intimate, and we were just able to catch up. And especially because I hadn’t been back East in like three years because of the pandemic. So I had seen everybody in a few years and they hadn’t seen each other in a few years. And so it really was just like catching up and connecting. And I really wonder for everyone having gatherings after for a few years, like less is more. We didn’t need to have things planned because just catching up and connecting took up the entire party, really. There wasn’t room. If we would have tried to have games or tried to have other things, there wouldn’t have been space for that. And more people, there wasn’t space for more people because it was a small gathering. I think it was like eight to ten of us was all there was really space for all the catching up. So small is better and simple is better right now.

[00:10:30] Mara: Yeah, for sure. I mean, if you want to do elaborate, go ahead. But I feel those events that stick out in your mind, those special memories, are the ones where you’re really connected with the people who are there. Nobody’s going to remember what your color scheme was for your Christmas party or what appetizers you serve, unless they’re spectacular. But people are just going to remember the time together. That’s what they’re going to remember. And the feeling, the feeling.

[00:10:57] Shawna: Yes. And there were lots of little thoughtful things, too. So you can do the thoughtful things, but I think doing the one or two things that stand out are the things that you could put your time into. She did this wonderful apple cider... spiked apple cider bar where you could spike in. She even had nuts and she had like what cream and stuff to go in it. She had that. She had her little special station for things, too. So there’s one special thing that stood out and so trying to do ten special things to stand out. So… No, that’s wonderful. And it’s great. And that’s a lot of having the support from something like you and even like you’re done for your party kits. Tell me what those are, because I’m sure those are helpful for people that felt overwhelmed trying to plan parties, too.

[00:11:35] Mara: Yeah. So these… done for you party kits are basically you can instantly download right now. I’ve got wine tasting because... that’s any time to have a wine tasting party. And it gives you everything from the invitation, if you want to send out the invitation, it gives you the wine tasting that’s... it gives you printable signs that you can put up to decorate with. So it’s really one of those things where all you have to do is invite people over and obviously get your wine and I’ve got everything for you. The tags, the judging sheets, the place mats, it’s all there. My goal with those, whether it’s the wine tasting one or the Rosé. I even have a hot coffee bar, hot beverage station, let’s just make it easy and then you can just one click, download it, print it, and you’re done. You’re ready to go.

[00:12:20] Shawna: Oh, that’s brilliant. And that’s fun like the wine tasting, I’ve done that before. And you just have somebody... Everybody bring a bottle of wine. Don’t even have to do the whine.

[00:12:43] Mara: That’s right. We did that this summer. And it was so nice. It actually introduced us to wines that we wouldn’t have normally tried because then people were like, “Oh,” and I made the suggestion, let’s focus on white wines. And people brought some really lovely wines. And I’m like I never in a million years would have picked this up off the liquor store shelf because I didn’t like the label. Wine was fantastic. Yeah.

[00:13:05] Shawna: Well, that’s so fun. That’s a great idea. So if someone’s like going, “Oh, it’s already the middle of December, I wanted to get together with my friends.” You can just download that kit and have those little...

[00:13:13] Mara: That’s right!

[00:13:14] Shawna: Gathering with your friends to have those wine tasting party. That’s a great idea. I love it. And nice and easy. Easy is good.

[00:13:21] Mara: Exactly. Easy is good.

[00:13:22] Shawna: Easy is good. That’s wonderful. So what has been your favorite part of running your business and having the joyful hostess?

[00:13:33] Mara: Oh, man, there’s been so much. I think the opportunity to meet other people like you, Shawna. I think in my previous role, because you’re meeting clients and it was just more localized, obviously. But now, I’m meeting people from everywhere and connecting with other business owners, connecting with other women. And I think that’s the power of connecting online and building a business online is that there are no barriers to that. And the nice thing about it is I’m also moved into a business now where there’s not a whole lot of regulation around what you can do and say. You know what I’m saying like with the advertising and stuff, we had to be very careful around the wording and the phrasing. And now, I can build a business that feels for me and I have the creative freedom. That’s the word I’m looking at. The creative freedom to build a business how I want.

[00:14:22] Shawna: That’s so exciting. You could see more authentic and channel the things you’re excited about. That is wonderful.

[00:14:33] Mara: Exactly.

[00:14:35] Shawna: The joy into people’s homes, I love it.

[00:14:33] Mara: Yeah, I love that. I love that. I love knowing that maybe in some way, I’m part of somebody’s celebration. Or just helping somebody get confident. I had a young woman reach out to me and say, “You know, from watching your YouTube, I was really scared about having my family over.” And she said she had just had her family over for dinner and she was ecstatic about it. And it was just like one of those things where I’m like, “Yes, that’s what this is about.” Just showing you you can do it and it doesn’t have to be hard. And think about what that will do for you later on.

[00:15:12] Shawna:  Yes, I love that. I love that. And looking forward to it, too, because we have New Year’s. My sweetheart, he’s not my fiance. He’s not big on New Year’s, but I was always big on New Year’s and doing things for New Year’s Eve and stuff like that. Mara is from Canada, so I get to ask her Canadian questions. Is New Year’s Day big in Canada?

[00:15:28] Mara: For sure. Actually, this year, I’m helping a friend of mine. She wants to plan a New Year’s Eve party. She’s got a new home and we’re doing a Great Gatsby theme.

[00:15:42] Shawna: Oh, fun!

[00:15:42] Mara: Well, that’d be fun. I can be so all about that. You know, share the tips and what we’re doing for that Great Gatsby New Year’s Eve. It’s going to be so fun.

[00:15:42] Shawna: Yes. Theme parties... I mean, those are work, but those ideas are worth it.

[00:15:56] Mara: Yes.

[00:15:55] Shawna: Those are so much fun.

[00:15:55] Mara: Yeah, we wanted it to be over the top because like you said, we’ve had like two years, almost three years of not being able to do anything. So this year we’re like, “What is more over the top than Gatsby? Come on.”

[Shawna]

[00:16:09] I mean, this is 20s. We’re going back to the 20s because it’s 2022. We’re going back to the 20s. That makes perfect sense to me. That sounds like so much fun.

[Mara]

[00:16:19] It’s going to be fun. So I do have a tip I wanted to share about, and it just reminded me, like, with New Year’s Eve, I talk about how music can actually lend more ambience to your party, right? So it can help further a theme. And so here’s a really great idea. You create a Spotify playlist, then you have your guests contribute music, like, add to the list. Then during your party, all you have to do is play your Shawna’s New Year’s Eve party mix, and everybody gets to hear their favorite song at some point. And I think guests like being able to contribute to the party in that way. And the second thing I like is that even after the party is over, you kind of have this memory of your party, right? Because now everybody has that playlist.

[Shawna]

[00:16:50] You have a cool idea.

[Mara]

[00:17:06] I like that idea. We’re going to do that.

[Shawna]

[00:17:06] Okay, so I’m totally taking this to a whole different level. So I’m getting Mararied and may obviously be talking about my little party in Boston. And so when I was in New England and I’ve been building my dancing list for my wedding for some time and we were, like, previewing it when I was out in Boston and we were, like, late coming into my party because there were three of us in one car. And then two people shows are out outside listening to the dancing list and adding to the dance list.

[Mara]

[00:17:35] Yeah.

[Shawna]

[00:17:35] So that’s awesome. I should start doing Shawna Rodriguez’s dance list for the wedding. Like, I should start working on that list now. But do you have people just email you just add the list, or is there a way to make it public and they can add it? Or how do you do that?

[Mara]

[00:17:48] Yeah, you just make a list on Spotify and then you can share it.

[Shawna]

[00:17:48] That’s awesome.

[Mara]

[00:17:48] You can share the list, and then guests can just go find Shawna’s. They’ll find the link to your list, and then they can just add their song. They don’t have to email you. You don’t have to do any of that.

[Shawna]

[00:18:00] They can just do it nice. And if you add bad songs, it will be to them. I mean, I will welcome any contributions. There’s only so many times you can hear Who Let the Dog? That I’m telling every younger child that’s coming to my wedding.

[Mara]

[00:18:12] That’s right. You get the ultimate veto power over that.

[Shawna]

[00:18:23] Yes. Also veto power. Yes. There’s some good dogs out there, but that’s so much fun that that’s an easy way to do it. Just make it public and have people be able to add in as they see fit. That’s so brilliant. I love that. Make it easy.

[Mara]

[00:18:33] Make it easy. The other idea, I had a couple here the other idea. I talked a little bit about this, but outsourcing, right? So outsourcing doesn’t have to be hiring somebody, right? It doesn’t have to be hiring the party planner or a chef to make something. Outsourcing can just be asking friends and family. So don’t be afraid of hosting a potluck or asking somebody to just could you just bring an appetizer? That would be super helpful. And outsourcing also is asking the people in your house who live with you. Like, I have kids and husband, so when you’re hosting, it doesn’t just have to be you getting the house ready and getting everything ready. So make sure you ask for help because it can be a big job and nobody wants to feel frazzled and feel drained when guests ring that doorbell. Right. So that’s a way that you can kind of protect your energy, focus on what matters, and outsource what you can.

[Shawna]

[00:19:34] Yes. Okay. To do that, we’ve had the tradition with the kid that gets assigned to take drink orders every Thanksgiving or Christmas at our house, there’s always a kid that’s assigned to take drink orders and be in charge of drink orders. So gives our kids jobs, find jobs that are inappropriate.

[Mara]

[00:19:34] But my kids always help set the table.

[Shawna]

[00:19:52] There you go.

[Mara]

[00:19:52] So that was something. Oh, here’s another tip. Setting the table the night before that is going to see you the day of. There’s like, enough to do. And I don’t care what the party is, whether it’s like Christmas or your birthday or whatever, you’re always running out of time and you haven’t done yet. And guests are going to be here. So setting the table the night before does a couple of things, highlights really quickly, like what you’re missing. You’re like, oh, crap, I don’t have enough wine glasses, I don’t have enough cutlery. But having the kids help with that, they feel like they contributed, and then it’s kind of like a source of pride. Like they set the table right for everybody, and it’s one less thing you have to do.

[Shawna]

[00:20:23] Yes. It’s good to have in life, too, I think. Yeah, I like it. Yes. Do you have something else for us? I like these tips.

[Mara]

[00:20:37] Oh. Setting up your bar area or your appetizer area away from where you have everything else set up. So I don’t like to put the bar and the food kind of in the same area because what happens is people tend to just hang out there and then you can’t get around. I don’t know about you, but I feel like the kitchen island. Everybody I talked to like kitchen island or the kitchen table, everybody tends to hang out there. But if that’s where you put all the food and drink, of course that’s where they’re going to hang out. And people become kind of cemented in their spots instead of mingling with other people. So one of the tricks is just to kind of sprinkle stuff throughout and keep it separate so that forces people.

[Shawna]

[00:21:23] To get up, movement going, move.

[Mara]

[00:21:23] Plus it also helps sometimes you get cornered by somebody at a party and it gives you an opportunity to be like, I’m just going to go refresh my drink. Like, I’ll be back this way.

[Shawna]

[00:21:23] Keep on moving that way. Yes, lanes of traffic have different lanes. I like it. It’s good to have that. That’s very important to plan. I like it. Those are good tips to have. And so you have your YouTube channel and your blog and your Instagram. Do you do stuff on your YouTube channel and your Instagram that are similar or do you usually do different material.

[Mara]

[00:21:53] And those things there’s usually different stuff.

[Shawna]

[00:21:53] Nice.

[Mara]

[00:21:53] YouTube, because it’s like longer for them, I get to do a little bit more. Instagram will be kind of your quick tips or just the recipe. Whereas YouTube, you can get a little bit more into it.

[Shawna]

[00:22:14] Nice. And then also you’ve launched a course, you’ll be launching it again in January. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? So that’s helping to bring the less perfection and more joy into hostessing for folks, if they’re interested, right?

[Mara]

[00:22:29] Yeah. So the Joyful Hostess Academy is basically all of my years of hosting. I poured it all into this course so that by the end of the course, the idea was I wanted to help people let go of perfection, kick that party planning overwhelm out the door and instead become more confident in their hosting. Because when they’re more confident, they will have more people over, which led to, like, more joy and spreading the love and that kind of thing. So we talk about everything from understanding your own personal hosting style to practical tips, timelines guides, checklists.

[Shawna]

[00:23:01] We get into all of it.

[Mara]

[00:23:01] We even get into like last night we got into some sticky hosting situations, like guests that maybe are intoxicated or reserved. How do you deal with those? So these are the kinds of things that come up in that course that we talk about. And then at the end the idea is that you’re going to be confident and ready to host your party.

[Shawna]

[00:23:29] Nice. And do people need to join it? So again, it would open up again and more the spring. But for people’s, or January ish for people doing that, is it more an intent? Like they have a party in mind that they’re working, like they know they’re going to be doing the baby shower, they know they’re going to be having people over for Easter, or is it more if you just want to learn about hosting and getting more comfortable, you should join, or both? Or kind of who’s your audience with that.

[Mara]

[00:23:45] Yeah, so I’m finding that the audience is kind of both. So, for instance, I have a couple of people because Christmas, us, Thanksgiving is coming up, right? So they are hosting, so they want to just make their lives easier, so they join. But then I also have people who are just new to hosting, right? Like their first place, their first home. This is not something that maybe their parents did, and you’re not really anywhere, but you want to do it. So where do I learn this all in one spot? Instead of having to kind of piecemeal and watching videos, like here and there, it’s all in one for you.

[Shawna]

[00:24:33] Oh, nice. That is a great gift for somebody who’s got their first home or whatever else to be a great idea for a gift.

[Mara]

[00:24:33] That’s perfect. That is good. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. That is a good idea.

[Shawna]

[00:24:44] Yes. People need those skills. And for people that doesn’t come naturally, that’s definitely something to have those tips and tricks, to not be overwhelmed. So it’s actually a wonderful experience. They want to do it again because they actually got to enjoy it. Very important. Very important. That’s wonderful. And so right now, people can get on the wait list for that and then they’ll find out when it opens up. Correct.

[Mara]

[00:25:08] Yes. So right now, if you head to the website, you can join the waitlist, and then you’ll be, like, the first to know when we open the doors for 2023, which will be the early part of 2023.

[Shawna]

[00:25:08] Nice.

[Mara]

[00:25:22] All the spring stuff. Spring entertaining, outdoor entertaining. We see a lot more bridal showers, baby showers. Will you be my bridesmaid? Parties, like, all that kind of stuff.

[Shawna]

[00:25:22] All that fun stuff. Yes. We’re back to entertaining. We’re back to entertaining.

[Mara]

[00:25:31] Yes, we are.

[Shawna]

[00:25:36] Yes. And for people who just want to be back to entertaining and like, wait, I haven’t done this. How do I do this again? You could take a course. Exactly. Get you back ready for it. That’s wonderful. This has been so great. I think it’s been helpful for people to get them back. And Garrett, I think that following you on Instagram is also going to be exciting, especially for that gatsby party. I can’t picture from that.

[Mara]

[00:25:56] Yeah, me neither. I’m already, like, sourcing some stuff for it. I can’t wait.

[Shawna]

[00:25:56] That’s so awesome. And I need to ask you this because I was wondering this with somebody recently. So I am intrigued by the fact that Thanksgiving is in October in Canada and late November in the US. And it actually makes more sense to me that it’s in October in Canada, because that’s more aligned with the harvest.

[Mara]

[00:26:06] Exactly.

[Shawna]

[00:26:25] And again, like, in the. US. Like, we’re told a story that it connects kind of with a dinner that happened and there’s very mixed things in the US around Thanksgiving and our relationship with indigenous peoples and having that. But I’m curious, is it kind of related back to a specific origin? Do you know? Does it come from a specific meal or origin in Canada, or is it just a general gratitude for harvest? And where are the origins in Canada?

[Mara]

[00:26:51] Do you know? Yeah, I don’t know. But I do know, at least this is what I’ve heard the whole time growing up, that ours is in October because in Canada, because of the temperature, our harvest was earlier than it was in the US. So as far as I know, that’s kind of the story that I’ve been told. Yeah, I don’t know any more than that, other than I like it in October. I don’t know in November, but maybe you can tell me. Does it feel rushed going from like Thanksgiving and then into Christmas?

[Shawna]

[00:27:13] Right? Yeah, it’s like a landslide. Like you do a landslide right into Christmas. And it’s funny because it’s not related to we have harvest festivals in September and October. Our harvest festivals are so unattached to Thanksgiving. And then at least my grade school memories of why Thanksgiving is in November was because it was more related to not having food and the dinners that were then given with indigenous peoples. And that connection was more why it was in November, because it was related to the coal setting in and not having resources and coming together with resources. And that was kind of the reasoning behind it being in November. The reasoning behind it was those original dinners and coming together and so that was why it was in November. But it is something that, even in college, I remember we had Thanksgiving and then two weeks later got out for Christmas break as it was like always, like just a weird timing of when we had it. I can’t imagine it differently because now I’ve done this my entire life. Yeah, but October’s, oh, as soon as I learned I think I was in my 20s when I learned it was in October in Canada, I’m like, that makes sense. And is it as that day? Or is it, I feel like October 10 or 12th or somewhere in that range? Is it? Yes, it would be.

[Mara]

[00:28:33] Oh, see, I’m going to probably get this wrong. Second Monday of October 2 or third or something like that.

[Shawna]

[00:28:48] That’s what I thought it was like, actually at the beginning of the week at ours on a Thursday. Yes.

[Mara]

[00:28:48] No, October. I mean, October thanksgiving is my favorite holiday out of all the holidays. I love Thanksgiving because I feel like it’s the same family tradition connection that you get at Christmas, like that, coziness without the pressure of Christmas and gifts and all that.

[Shawna]

[Speaker A] Yes, I completely agree with you. I also love 4 July and fireworks, but I also Halloween and I love New Year’s because I just love celebrating and fireworks and getting a dance through the night away. So I’m like an equal opportunity invite me to any holiday.

[Mara]

[Speaker C] I love them all. I love them all. But I have to say Thanksgiving, thanksgiving my favorite.

[Shawna]

[00:29:13] Yes, I think if I pulled when I was younger, I think Thanksgiving would be the one that I would have named it’s my favorite one also, and then I spent enough of them away from home with other families and also enjoyed that. But it had less of that connection as I got older, too. But yeah, that used to be when I was younger, that was always my favorite one. And I used to love lemon Maraine pie and that was the only time I got it.

[Mara]

[00:29:55] Really? Lemon meringue pie for Thanksgiving. That’s interesting.

[Shawna]

[00:30:01] Isn’t that funny? And it was funny with my family. So my family, I had four siblings and there were six of us in our family, and we didn’t have biological family that’s close to us. And there was this family in the church that I grew up in that invited us to their house every year, to which I’m still incredibly thankful because I cannot imagine a lot of people don’t fight for additional children either home for Thanksgiving from another family. So they get props to this day for doing this. But the woman who had it at her house, her favorite pie was Lemoring, and so they always had a limbering pie. And that’s probably the only reason. And I hated pumpkin pie, hated pumpkin pie, still hate limb pie. And so that was like lemon ring pie, and she would always have one because it’s her favorite and I would get to have lemon ring pie. And that’s the only time they ever had lemon ring pie. I don’t even make it now. And have I have another lemon pie that’s way better than I make now because I have different tastes now as I’m older. But as a kid, that was deep, high. And the only time I got it and it was so amazing, we went to their house and they had this big table and we played games. And it was like the one time our family was invited to somebody else’s house to host, to have a thing. Because we’re a big family, we didn’t often get invited to parties at other people’s houses. And we didn’t have family that was close by that we went to their house. So it was a big deal that we got to go Thanksgiving at their house.

[Mara]

[00:31:10] I think that’s funny. Well, because my family is Italian, like Thanksgiving and Christmas involves lasagna. Everyone’s like, you have lasagna. My husband’s not Italian, so he’s like, wait, what’s happening here? Why are we having lasagna? Because that’s like the first course. And then we will do like the turkey and ham and all that stuff. But we have to be lasagna.

[Shawna]

[00:31:38] No, I had somebody that I dated. I went to home with him for Christmas. When you dated somebody and it was all, like, Italian food and I’m like, where is the other stuff? You watch mass on TV at midnight Christmas Eve? Okay, this is different. Okay. And then everyone doesn’t wake up or gifts. Everyone sleeps in because they stayed up late to do mass?

[Mara]

[00:32:02] Yes.

[Shawna]

[00:32:02] It’s so fun though, to spend it with different people and the different traditions that come for the holidays is so interesting.

[Mara]

[00:32:02] I love that. I love seeing, like, how other people are hearing how other people celebrate and what are their traditions? I think that’s a really cool thing.

[Shawna]

[00:32:15] Yes. Part of the fun. Part of the fun. Yes. We can talk about this all day, though.

[Mara]

[00:32:19] I Know.

[Shawna]

[00:32:19] Yes. So let’s get to the self care part. So what do you do for self care, Maraa? What do you do to take care of yourself and bring joy into your life?

[Mara]

[00:32:28] Okay. I am getting back into journaling, so I feel like journaling, for me, is a really good way to, like, spend time with me. And I am a big fan of taking baths, so yeah, I feel like when I’m in the bath, that’s just so relaxing. And I feel like lots of ideas come in there. I don’t know if it’s like water or like because you’re relaxed. So bath and journaling and then spending time with good girlfriends, right? Where you can just laugh your heads off and be silly and that kind of stuff is important.

[Shawna]

[00:32:51] Yes. Especially. We kind of got out of the habit of that, so it’s good to get back in the habit of that stuff is important. Yes. Up your bath game with candles.

[Mara]

[00:33:06] Yes.

[Shawna]

[00:33:06] Candles, bath. It’s just like a whole different my current bath set up my current place. The house we’re in doesn’t have a place for my candles. But I miss my candles. Yeah. All the difference. I actually had in one of my places, I actually had skonces and the bath hub. So I get sconces with camp.

[Mara]

[00:33:25] Nice.

[Shawna]

[00:33:25] Such a difference. But yes. Bath. That’s a good one.

[Mara]

[00:33:30] Good Bath.

[Shawna]

[00:33:30] So for all of our guests, we actually offer you a coloring book. Because at The Grit Show we have The Color of Grit is our series of coloring books. And so we offer our guests. So thank you for coming to share your wonderful knowledge with us. We offer you either. We have two of them out now. We have The Vintage Mermaid and Magnificent Ocean. And You’ve Got This, which is inspirational quotes. So which one can I send you a copy of?

[Mara]

[00:33:56] I like the idea of the vintage mermaid. Let’s do that. We’re just talking about the bath. Like, let’s do vintage mermaid.

[Shawna]

[00:34:05] We got the ocean. We got the water. Great. Awesome. Because you’re in Canada, I get to send you a digital copy, but I.

[Mara]

[00:34:12] Will send you a perfect copy of.

[Shawna]

[00:34:12] That just for you. And that way you can even print it and share.

[Mara]

[00:34:12] Yes.

[Shawna]

[00:34:18] Thank you. I might like to share that with you. You are very welcome. I’m excited to hear what you think of it. Yeah. Add that to your self care routine. Because we encourage self care here at The Grit Show. Very good stuff. That’s awesome. And so what do we think that we should tell people to to walk away? I think we need to walk away. I think the concept to walk away with is this concept of tell me your slogan, because your slogan says it perfectly.

[Mara]

[00:34:32] Less perfection, more connection.

[Shawna]

[00:34:32] I love it. Less perfection, more so as you’re going through this holiday season and having people over for Hanukkah, having people over just for dinner, having people over for brunch, having them over for Christmas, whatever it might be, New Year’s, et cetera, that’s your goal. Less perfection, more connection. That’s your goal. And some simple ways for you to think about doing that. I think the outsourcing, I think is the biggest thing, whether that’s outsource.

[Mara]

[00:35:08] Yeah. Family friends.

[Shawna]

[00:35:08] Family, friends.

[Mara]

[00:35:08] And I would include, like in my to do list, I always include some self care for me. So in that even if you’re just carving, just write down that you’re going to shower and do your hair or whatever, make time for it. Because like I’ve said before, we’ve all fallen victim to like, oh my God, I’m still doing my makeup and people are at the door and I’m not ready. Right?

[Shawna]

[00:35:29] Yeah. I’ve actually not done my hair and makeup around already. And people at the door I’m like, oh, wow. We’ll go with connection and not perfection on me. But I’m less happy in the pictures. I didn’t get ready to prioritize you outsource so that you can take care of you, but somebody else in charge of the stirring and answering the door so you can get ready or get ready first and do less stuff. Because people aren’t going to care that the deviled eggs aren’t squeezed and perfect shaped. Like just scoop them in there and get the shower right.

[Mara]

[00:35:39] Corner candles and do that after.

[Shawna]

[00:36:08] Exactly. Cut corners where you need to so that you can actually enjoy doing that. Yes. And I love that idea too. Yeah. Of realizing that you don’t have to make it all, do it all.

[Mara]

[00:36:15] Give yourself a break.

[Shawna]

[00:36:15] May not remember what you made or didn’t make anyway.

[Mara]

[00:36:15] Yes.

[Shawna]

[00:36:30] If it’s important, I love to make things. So usually I will make the dessert from scratch because I love making desserts. So I’ll make a dessert from scratch and that will be my thing that I make from scratch. And then everything else. I might do Costco instead of true, but I might go to Costco and just grab something easy to grow, grab.

[Mara]

[00:36:51] A bag of salad that’s like already done, right? Get some nuts and throw some craisins in it and like TADA. There’s like your salad. Like just make it easy.

[Shawna]

[00:36:58] Make it easy. Make it easy. Yeah. There used to be like this Hawaiian chicken that I would just buy. It would have the sauce and just heat it up and people come over or the pulled pork and add barbecue and just cut it in half. And there’s your sandwich for the outside. Potluck stuff. Yes, make it easy and yes, potluck. Potluck. Especially if you’re hosting Christmas dinner or a Hanukkah dinner or other dinner. You tell people what to bring and have them bring it. They can stop at the local restaurant and pick it up. If they aren’t, there’s no getting off there’s too many times I hear that, oh well, that person doesn’t cook great. You can give them a recommendation of bring the wine. They can stop and pick something up because that can still happen. They can get the bread, they can get the salad that’s already pre made.

[Mara]

[00:37:25] Pick up some cupcakes, go to the bakery, give it some cupcakes or some cookies or something.

[Shawna]

[00:37:46] Yeah, they can still contribute. So that still works. I like that. I like that plan.

[Mara]

[00:37:46] Excellent.

[Shawna]

[00:37:51] That’s wonderful. And where can tell people the website and the best way to reach you on website and Instagram and then probably your YouTube channel too.

[Mara]

[00:37:51] Yeah, so the website is joyfulhostess.com and Instagram same handles joyfulhostess. So we can chat there on Instagram. That’s kind of like more social. That’s like where we connected to.

[Shawna]

[00:38:10] That is where we connected. You need on Instagram. She has the best picture of her kissing a pineapple. I love it. It’s so cute. And like with the hospitality, because I know that in the south the hospitality is the pineapples. Is it the same thing in Canada?

[Mara]

[00:38:17] It’s a symbol of hospitality, which is why it’s our logo and that’s why we got it.

[Shawna]

[00:38:17] I love that.

[Mara]

[00:38:33] And then YouTube has more longer form videos. It’s a little bit more like instructional and yeah, it’s just got more info, right? Like Instagram is hard to like kind of put all the information in there. So there’s definitely more on YouTube and there’s different stuff on YouTube and there is on Instagram.

[Shawna]

[00:38:50] Awesome. So follow her on Instagram so you’ll be reminded. And then go check out her website and get that information so that you guys can kind of get some inspiration and then that class too. I think that’s great. And even if you have somebody who just moved into their house and good gift, good housewarming gift. I think that’s a great idea. So this has been so fun. This has been so fun.

[Mara]

[00:39:07] Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

[Shawna]

[00:39:13] A great topic for us is the into the holidays for people to have a little bit of joy to add that and a little less perfection, a little more connection with their hostess, and it’s a great thing.

[Mara]

[00:39:13] Thank you. Thank you.

[Shawna]

[00:39:31] Thank you for being here as part of our audience today. If you’re interested in checking out our coloring book, after all, it is the holidays. All you need to do is Google the color of grits, and they should pop up.

[Shawna]

[00:39:46] You can definitely find them on Amazon. You can also get sample pages off of our website, the gritshow.com. Don’t forget, you are the only one of you that this world has got, and that means something. We’ll be here again next Tuesday. I hope you are, too