It Does Exist-The Relationship You Deserve w/Diane Schroeder & Josh Humphreys -35

Shawna: 0:00

Sometimes the search for a partner can be a little discouraging, especially when we aren't as young as we once were. That's why today's episode, is an exciting conversation with a couple, who isn't as young as you might guess upon first glance. Who share with us an honest conversation about the joy and ease you can find in a relationship. And some of the work you have to do to get there. I know I found it inspirational and wonderful to be part of, even as someone who has found myself in an incredible relationship that I'm very grateful to have. It definitely mirrored the years of searching and waiting, and questioning if I deserved, or was ready for, or wanted, or if it existed. So I hope you stick around to hear more from Josh and Diane. This show is essentially two episodes in one. You'll also get a chance to get to know Diane a little bit. She is a powerhouse. She is a brilliant woman full of wisdom, with a beautiful focus on authenticity, self-care and leadership in ways that I'm sure will resonate with you and make you interested in her new podcast that just released last week. So stick around two great topics today that will give you a lot to reflect on before the end of the episode. Thanks for being here. Welcome to The Grit Show- growth on purpose. I'm glad you found us. I'm your host, Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm honored to be leading you on today's journey as part of this community growing together as seekers and thrivers. If it's your first time, I'm glad you're here. And if you're familiar with us, we would love if you take a moment and leave a review. I love to hear what you have to say. It is so valuable to learn your perspective and what you enjoy about the show, so we know what to focus on going forward. Thank you for being part of this community. Diane Schroeder, is a national speaker, writer, and podcast host who focuses on helping leaders understand and appreciate the value of self-care. As a leader in the male-dominated fire service for over 20 years, Diane knows that practicing self-care enables leaders to find their authentic style, have a work-life balance, and increase productivity. Authentic leaders create healthy, inclusive, and diverse work cultures. With a master's degree in organizational leadership, Diane combines her wisdom with data to guide leaders down the self-care path. She shares her wisdom with her community through email and her weekly podcast, The Fire Inside Her. Diane speaks around the country. Is a Ted Ex speaker and is currently working on a book about leadership. We get to speak with her and her partner, Josh today for a very great conversation around partnership. But first we get to speak a little bit with Diane. Thanks for being here. Diane,

Diane: 2:54

Thank you for having me.

Shawna: 2:56

I would love to get to know a little bit more about organizational leadership and what has driven you to feel like self-care is the most important part of organizational leadership.

Diane: 3:05

That's a great question I think being in the fire service about 15 years ago, I really started to pay attention to leadership. I had been an officer for quite some time, but I just didn't really understand what leadership was, and then I realized how important it was. Some of the things I was doing intuitively was leadership. Making sure my crews were taking care of each other and you know, creating this safe place for everyone to come to work. And I think that as I moved up higher in the ranks, I just saw some dysfunction in leadership and I, I just became kind of fascinated by it. So I started reading more books and I got my undergrad in public administration and it kind of touched upon leadership. But then when I dove in to get my master's in organizational leadership, it was like this deep dive into all these theories that are really old, this really old. And I came across an article that talked about, you know, if you're going to use yourself as an instrument of change and being a leader, as a leader, one of the things you need to focus on is taking care of yourself. And then it kind of all clicked because if you pour from an empty cup, you don't pour anything. So I felt like, gosh, it's all the little cliches that you hear from the airplane. Put the oxygen on yourself first, and you know, you've gotta take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. That's what I was like, gosh, that there's something to this. And especially. When you're really busy or tired and you know, I think for the fire service, as we went higher up in rank, it became very lonely. You know, you go from working with a crew to now you're supervising a bunch of crews, but you're all by yourself. And then when you get in, you know, administrative positions, you're kind of on an island. I joke that you're on this, you know, island with storm clouds above you and alligators below you. And it just can be, can be exhausting. And you just get, in this machine of having to feel like you need to do it all and you've gotta take care of everyone else, but you don't take care of yourself and everything suffers when you don't take care of yourself.

Shawna: 5:09

Yes. And you've also got a specialty in DEI. Can you tell people? Not everyone probably knows what DEI stands for. Can you tell people what that stands for?

Diane: 5:18

Diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. I got introduced to it because being an underrepresented person in the fire service, there's about 4% female and less than 1% in chief officer roles I never really appreciated. I was different. I knew I was different, but I always tried to fit in and be like everyone else. So I didn't bring my true value to the table and I didn't really, you know, I wanted to go along to get along and not be, oh gosh, she's a woman and there's a lot of pressure when you're a minority. In the fire service because there weren't a lot of women. So I always felt like I was representing every woman that every, every decision I made or that people were scrutinizing me, you know, more and more. And I think it's just really important to talk about, what diversity really is and what equity means versus equality and why, becoming an inclusive organization just is better for everyone because all boats rise and at the end of the day, regardless of your demographics, where you came from or what you know, it's everyone wants to belong and feel safe where they are.

Shawna: 6:26

That's amazing and I hadn't heard the D E I B and I think the B is a very important part of that, so I'm glad that you, you brought that up so we could add the D E I B to that.

Diane: 6:37

Thank you.

Shawna: 6:38

You have a lot of talents and things that you're adding to your work, and so your podcast, it just came out and your first season, what are you focusing on with your podcast?

Diane: 6:49

So exciting. So the first thing for my podcast is I'm interviewing the people in my community. Um, my friends, even my mom. The people who matter the most in my life and who I've learned from and who I respect and admire. I just feel like if I'm gonna create a community and I want people to join my community, then they should know who's in my community and kind of where I get, you know, part of who I am and part of why I think the way I do. And that's the first season is all about the incredible women that I respect. How self-care, how they find time for self-care, and how, you know, a leadership impacts, you know, their leadership style and then what community means to them and how important it is.

Shawna: 7:35

That's incredible and I'm so excited. So for some of our listeners, I've launched a network, the Authentic Connections Podcast Network, and Diane is actually one of the first individuals to join that network, and I'm so excited about her role in that network and her podcast coming out. That's such an exciting piece. So where is the best place to find your podcast?

Diane: 7:55

The best place is to go to TheFireInsideHer.com/podcast or wherever you frequently listen to your podcasts. Should be everywhere at this point.

Shawna: 8:07

That's wonderful. That's exciting. And the first episode is up as well as the trailer. So you welcome to listen to it and check out. And then if folks wanna find you where. Place to find you and to be able to keep track of you and your exciting stuff. And it also sounds like people can get in touch with you to speak to their organizations around leadership or do some consulting with them around some of these pieces as well.

Diane: 8:28

Absolutely. Um, you can find me on LinkedIn. I'm on LinkedIn at Diane Schroeder and you can find me, on Instagram @TheRealFireInHer. Or you can just email me at Diane@Thefireinsideher.com.

Shawna: 8:43

Wonderful, and we will have all of those pieces in this show notes, and we have an extra special treat today because it is Valentine's Day. We actually get to have an interview with Diane and her partner Josh, and we'll get to talk a little bit about. The partnership and the importance of having your person and the support that comes with that. Is there anything you wanna share with our listeners before we get into that conversation with Josh

Diane: 9:06

I think the biggest, and I'm sure we'll talk about just the importance of not giving up. You know, it's, it's never too late to find love and it, your past choices don't define your future choices if you learn the lessons.

Shawna: 9:21

That's incredible. Thank you so much for being here. And everyone make sure look in the show notes you can get in touch with Diane. Thank you so much Diane.

Diane: 9:28

Thank you.

Shawna: 9:31

So as we talk about strong relationships, I'm very glad to have with me Josh and Diane. I'm excited to learn about both of you, the way that you guys met and came together. So let's start with how you guys met.

Diane: 9:43

Well, we met, like all people meet this day and age on a dating app.

Shawna: 9:47

That makes sense.

Diane: 9:48

I had just signed up for match.com and Josh was about to let his subscription end and so there was like a few days overlap and that's how we connected.

Shawna: 10:02

I am glad there was an overlap. Josh, what about Diane made you pay attention and decide she was somebody you wanted to meet?

Josh: 10:08

Oh goodness. So first would be her smile.

Shawna: 10:11

MMmm.

Josh: 10:12

and just seeing, you know, right on these dating apps, you're looking at that first. You're looking at the pictures, and then you look at the words. So there was this one picture that I still have on my phone, with just her big smile. Then you move on to the words and you look at, a lot of the similarities that we had, yoga and, believing in the universe and just, um, just a number of things that really drew me to her. I think you were actually the one that reached out to me first. So we just started chatting. The first time we met physically, we were together for almost four hours. It seemed like, you know, 10 minutes.

Diane: 10:49

It just flew by.

Josh: 10:50

It wasn't enough. Right. It wasn't nearly enough. So yeah, it was, it was pretty cool.

Shawna: 10:56

That's incredible. And so Diane, when did you first know that Josh was somebody that you definitely wanted to have in your life and needed to make space for?

Diane: 11:04

The first date, probably before the first date, cuz we had talked on the phone and even the first time we talked on the phone was quite a long conversation. Yeah. And just, he was so grounded. And I remember towards the end of the date, I was like, I don't want this date to end

Shawna: 11:21

That's a good sign.

Diane: 11:22

this is. This is such a good time. And yeah, that was, it was pretty instant that I knew he was special and we would definitely,

Josh: 11:31

I think we both felt it, right. I mean, we both walked away from there thinking like, this is different. Um, it's different than the rigmarole that we had been through before. So much so that, what was it, A day or two later, I sent her a text and I said, how'd you like to go to Mexico in February?

Diane: 11:49

So why not on the second, you know, right after you meet someone, go to a foreign country with them. Sounded like a great idea. And that's what I said. I'm like, that sounds awesome. Let me see if I can get the time off work.

Shawna: 12:00

That's a good sign. That's a good sign. Yes. And so Josh, you were about to get off the dating app. Were you kind of done with doing the online dating?

Josh: 12:08

I was so done. So done. And that, that's part of what I had asked the universe for was for somebody to meet me where I was in life. Um, and I was at the point where I was, I, I didn't have to have that. I was done with the chase. I just wanted to, to continue to work on myself and, you know, be the best person I could. And that's exactly what happened. I mean, we met and, and she was in the same space of that kind of just being in a sweet spot of self care and of, of taking care of ourselves.

Shawna: 12:45

That's awesome.

Josh: 12:47

Mm-hmm.

Shawna: 12:48

And so you guys are, this is not the first. Okay. So you both are engaged, which I know the audience doesn't know that yet. So when did you guys know that that was the step that you guys wanted to take to share your lives together?

Diane: 13:02

Well, for me that's interesting because I swore I'd never get married again. I was pretty, pretty resolved in that, you know, it was part of my, I'm good enough for me. I don't need anyone else. I'm happy with my life and if it means I'm gonna be alone, then that's okay. And we met and fell in love and I was like, all right, cool. Now my life has gotten better and I'm still not sure. Does that mean marriage or, you know, and so we, we started with consolidation and a very romantic term of how can we combine our lives together? We lived pretty close to each other, but we weren't living together. And so that was the first step. And then I think, I don't know. It just, it made sense, like everything with us has made sense and being adults and going through a lot of life and hardship and dark times and bumpy times to do the work, to be two people that are independent of each other, yet just have the synergy when we're together and it's just easy and everything aligns with us. When he proposed to me, it was like, okay. Yes, that makes sense. It's just different this time.

Josh: 14:10

No, I, I was in the same space. I mean, I told, you know, the close handful of people in my life, I can never see myself getting married again. And it wasn't negative on the institution of marriage. I just didn't think that it, it just wasn't important. And you changed that, I mean, do you. she made that really, really easy. Like it was never a doubt. It wasn't, there wasn't a question about whether or not it was gonna happen. It was kind of a game of, of when was it gonna happen, that we had fun with. But yeah, we were in the same space. I mean that again, we met each other where we were.

Shawna: 14:46

Yeah. You keep having that theme of you met each other where you were, and it seems like that's the one thing that definitely differentiates this relationship than where you guys have been in other places in your life. So what makes that different? What do you think you each offer each other that makes it easier to meet each other where you're at?

Josh: 15:01

Well, my, immediately, my, the first two words outta my mouth are the work that we've, we'd each done, the time that we put into ourselves, um, to be better, to learn about ourselves, to, to have awareness about what we want and what we need. For me that was it. I mean, it was the work that I had done, and then I soon found out that, that Diane had done, to be in the spaces that we were in. Mm-hmm.

Diane: 15:25

Well, I think it's that, you know, being enough for yourself and not searching for someone else to make me whole or someone else to complete me. That's right. You know, all the romantic, like, oh, you know, expecting Josh to be my everything. And to, you know, that's a lot of pressure to put on anyone, especially a partner, to be my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my, you know, go shopping with me, do all the, do all the things. And I, I had spent a lot of time learning how to be that for myself.

Shawna: 15:56

Mm-hmm.

Diane: 15:57

So when we connected, it was just like, wow, it's that Rumi quote, Let the winds of heaven dance between you." So we're two complete people that come together and it's really cool cuz we can still be our individual selves.

Josh: 16:10

That quote, she, she said that quote a lot when we first met, and I'd never heard it before. I'd never heard of anything like that before. But it makes sense and it's exactly, it fits for us for sure.

Shawna: 16:21

So how do you guys navigate the bumps when one of you has a hard time, like how do you come together and support each other in that?

Diane: 16:29

We talk eventually we communicate, we communicate, we communicate. May not always go straight to communication because we are human Mm-hmm. and we are passionate and you know, that's life. All relationships require work and you know. We talk it out. Eventually we talk it out if we have to take a time out or if we have to, you know?

Josh: 16:48

Well, I think you're right. And, and we listen to each other. I think that's really, I mean, we do talk and we don't have a problem. We sometimes we have a bump to get to the talking, but, but when we do start talking, neither one of us have a difficult time sharing our hearts, because that's the basis of our relationship. Mm-hmm. But we also listen and we give each other grace to understand and to even when we've been not agree, we, we try to look and see where the other person is and say, okay, I understand that. How can I help you? I mean, how many times have you said that to me? Right? Yeah. What can I do to help or make this different or better, whatever. Not that we're trying to change each other, because that's not it at all. Um, it's just the grace. It's the grace and the space that comes in my opinion, with true bedrock love.

Diane: 17:39

I like that. Well, and we committed in the beginning to be a safe space for each other, where we aren't gonna judge each other. We're not, you know, it's, we see each other for who we are and not who we want the other person to be. And I think that's really important when it comes to the communication and grace and just, you know, it's always being vulnerable and exposed and that's really scary. That's really hard for me. It is so hard for me to let my guard down and, you know, learn how to receive. Love and acceptance. Um, so I think that's probably a big,

Josh: 18:12

I think that's the other thing that you said is that we see each other, I mean, I, I had never lived or been in a relationship with any human parents, children, otherwise, where I felt like I was truly seen. And in, in spite of that loved. Right? That that's a big deal. Mm-hmm.

Shawna: 18:32

Yeah. That really is to be really seen and to be who you are. I think that so much of relationships, so much of what we're taught in relationships is we're taught, oh, they'll change. They'll eventually change. They'll become something instead of, no, this is who they are, and you need to see them as they are and love them as they are and see how you fit with that and not any other way.

Josh: 18:55

Yes. Well, and I think that you would agree and we've talked about this, that we're not here to; we're not trying to change each other, we're accepting of, of where we're at. And, and that makes all the difference in the world.

Diane: 19:07

It makes it a lot easier. I mean, it's, it's a lot. It's exhausting to try to change someone to be who you want them to be. And you know, you spend time as precious and the older we get and we're on the back half of life. We recognize that, but it's, it's really too short to try to, put him in to be someone else, and I don't want him to be anyone else.

Josh: 19:28

Well, and that, I think that's the other part, right, is we're accepting of that. We're accepting of, like I said, where we are. It's kind of redundant, but it's, um, neither one of us are trying to change ourselves to be what we think the other one wants. That's true. That's a good point. And I spent a lot of time in my life doing that in every relationship that I had.

Shawna: 19:48

MmmHmm.

Josh: 19:49

And I think that, that, that's really true of where we are. We're just living in the moment as who we are and, and that, that turns into a compliment for each other. Mm-hmm.

Shawna: 20:00

Mm-hmm. And are you good at communicating to the other person what you need? Is that something you guys have been able to do and that you work on? A little bit.

Diane: 20:09

we're working on it.

Josh: 20:11

Yeah, we're working on it. And, and I would say, the answer is yes. We're not consistent. We're not every day. Perfect. Um, but I told you the other day. There's nothing that, that is off limits. There's nothing that you don't know. And, we're doing better every day at this is what I need, you know, type thing.

Diane: 20:31

Mm-hmm. It is hard to do, but yes. Asking for help, especially, you know, for me. I was single mom, super independent. I just did everything by myself and you know, I was, which as we know, hyper independence is a trauma response in itself. So to chip that away and, you know, asking for help, even if it's small things, it's a huge deal for me. And it's like, okay, that went well. It wasn't used against me. The world kept spinning. The sun came up. All right, let's try this again. and a bigger ask next time.

Josh: 21:02

Yeah. And I think that we're, we both have learned that, right? Mm-hmm. because we both have had the opportunity to be independent and, you know, I can do that. No, I can do that. No, let me, no. And it's just, there's some feeling in there that, that happens, but it's all part of, of growth. That was our, that was our word for last year, was growth.

Diane: 21:22

Mm-hmm.

Shawna: 21:23

Yes. I love that you guys have a word that you share for your word of the year. So what is your word for 2023?

Diane: 21:30

listen.

Shawna: 21:31

Very nice, very nice. Building on the communication

Josh: 21:36

Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

Shawna: 21:38

Yes, and so I don't want you to have to out your ages, but I think it's important because not everyone's going to see your photos and you don't look your ages as it is, so I think it's valuable. You've kind of hinted the fact that you guys aren't young anymore, but do you mind sharing a range that people can have that idea that, you know, you don't have to be 25 or 32 to be able to find what you're looking for in life.

Diane: 21:58

No, we're, we're in our mid forties, um, mid to and late forties. I'll be close to 50.

Josh: 22:06

I'll be 50 in a month.

Shawna: 22:07

Really?

Josh: 22:08

not rip the band off. Yep.

Shawna: 22:10

I would not have guessed that. And so it is something worth looking for and finding it when you, is it at least expected type of thing? Or did you both believe it was there if you found it? Or you're both kind of done with looking?

Diane: 22:23

Man, it that, that's a really great question because I would say yes. I obviously was looking because I was on the app. You were on the app, you were getting off the app, and at the same time, I don't know, I, I was just kind of, I had written down probably in May of 2021, a list. I did a new moon intention and I wrote down everything that I wanted in a partner and I, you know, did a ceremony. I folded it up, I wore it in under my bra for several months and just carried it with me with this intention of w ho I wanted to meet in my life, and sure enough, you know, I stopped wearing it and it wasn't that I'd given up, I just let it go. You know, I set the intention and eventually it was when I let it go that we met each other.

Josh: 23:13

That's the key. You let go of that expectation of you have to have this, have to have whatever it is we think we need. And you both said it, you let go of that and then look what happens. Mm-hmm.

Diane: 23:27

That was pretty cool. And it's not like, I mean he has a 22 year old son. I have a 10 year old son. I mean, so we're, we've blended this really cool family dynamic and everything, you know, has really worked out for the best. The boys are happy, we're happy, the families are happy. And I think, not that you do that for external validation, but when your family and friends support you and see how happy you are, that that says a lot about your choices.

Shawna: 23:53

Yeah. I think there's something about when things flow and there's an ease in a relationship. I think that sometimes you hit an age where you feel like you have to try and you have to try to make it all happen and make it all work, and those aren't the relationships you need to be in. You need to find the one that flows and the one that you have the support and you have the ease, and there's things to work on. There's always things to work on. But the ones that you, you have, that's the happiness and joy and this flow that you guys have. So that's why I love that we're sharing it with others.

Diane: 24:18

Yes.

Josh: 24:19

Could not agree more.

Shawna: 24:20

We always talk about self-care on The, Grit, Show. So we do have to have a moment where we pause and talk about what you guys do for self-care. So can you guys share with me what you guys do for self-care?

Diane: 24:28

So many things I guess together, we try to meditate and breathe every morning when we wake up. Um, we come into a little sacred space, and so we've combined some of our independent rituals that we did separately when we consolidated and started doing it together. So definitely meditation and breathing. Acupuncture, yoga. Me personally, I like. get out in nature when I can. I like to do floats. Just hanging out with friends, filling my cup with the podcasting and all the other exciting things I have coming up in my life definitely is self-care to me, cuz it helps build capacity in my life. What else?

Josh: 25:11

I mean, you hit the, the main, the core for me was before we met and after we met, meditating as often as possible, if not every day. going to yoga couple times a week at least. getting some acupuncture now and again

Diane: 25:28

shows, we go to a lot of concerts.

Josh: 25:30

Yeah. The big, the other thing for me is, is live music, like the, you talk about fulfilling your cup, right? Live music is something for me that's really been life changing.

Shawna: 25:41

Nice.

Josh: 25:42

And so that's part of my self-care. It may sound weird, but it's absolutely true.

Diane: 25:46

No, it was for me too, and I remember that was like, like live music. It was one of the draws mm-hmm. To your profile actually. Mm-hmm. It's like someone who likes to go see live music I'm in.

Josh: 25:57

Yeah. But the, you know, the yoga practice was life-changing for me. I don't know how many years ago now, 12 years ago or something like that. Um, and that's really been foundational for me and my self care.

Shawna: 26:08

That was awesome. I love the live music too. I don't think we can dismiss that. I think that's a great thing for you to have To get out and to hear that and connect with that. That's awesome. And as guests of The Grit Show, you both get a coloring book. You get to choose between the quotes- you've got this or the, um, vintage Mermaid and magnificent Ocean. So which of the coloring books would each of you like?

Josh: 26:28

Wow.

Diane: 26:29

You pick,

Josh: 26:30

you've got this,

Diane: 26:31

okay. Right. There it is.

Shawna: 26:33

Yeah, well, you get your own. So which one would you like?

Diane: 26:36

Yeah. Oh, well then I'll have the other one. The Mermaid, magnificent Ocean. Of course!

Shawna: 26:40

Okay, well good. Well you are both set then. And I do wanna take a moment cuz I wanna hear a little bit more about your work and Josh's supporting of your work. So can you tell us a little bit about your podcast and your work and, and then we can have Josh talk a little bit more about how that's been for him to support that.

Diane: 26:58

Sure. Um, so it was early on in our relationship. We were talking on the phone and he kept saying, you know, I've just gotta suck it up for 20 more years. I can do this job for 20 more years. And I, I was like, I thought about it and I didn't respond back right away. And I remember the next time we talked, I was like, no, that's not how this works. Like, you do not have to be stuck in a job that you're just settling for for 20 more years. Like, no, we need to come up with a better plan. I don't wanna stay in my profession for another 20 years. Like I, I really want, I want something different. And so we named it Plan A and you know, what could we do to support each other, to Plan A, so we can have that freedom and enjoy our lives without being, feel like we're stuck. And, you know, I was already speaking across the country to a lot of fire service, personnel and leadership stuff, and I had just finished my master's degree. We kind of decided that I've got momentum and he has been my biggest support and cheerleader all along the way. Whether it's registering for classes, whether it's, you know, I wanna try this, I wanna try that. And then last fall I told him, I'm like, I really think I need to create a podcast because I want to grow my community. And I just, I think podcasting is the way to do it. And I had spoken to a mutual friend at the yoga studio and she was like, oh my gosh, we just interviewed this gal on our podcast and it would be amazing you two should connect. And you know, the stars just aligned. And I came home and I told him, and he was like, absolutely, whatever you need. Like at every turn he has just been, yes, I believe in you. I, I support you. It has probably been the most impactful, support of my entire life cuz it's, it's genuine and I feel it

Shawna: 28:54

yes. And you just launched the fire inside her podcast, cuz your first episode came up February 8th, is that right?

Diane: 29:01

That is correct. About a week ago.

Shawna: 29:03

Yes. You just launched your amazing podcast. So how has that been like to, to support her in all of this?

Josh: 29:10

So it's, it's easy. I mean that, and here's why. Because I, I see when she talks about the podcast, when she talks about her desire and what really, motivates her and everything changes. Everything changes in her face, in her demeanor, and it's what she's supposed to be doing. And so there's no, there's zero resistance. All I wanna do is support and make sure that she's got the space and the time and whatever she needs to be able to, to be successful in this because it is her passion. It's what she's meant to do. Mm-hmm. Um, and so it's easy, it's, it's easy to do that because it's just joyful. I mean, there's so much joy that comes out of her, which then gives me joy just to see it. I told her the other night, I'm amazed at, at you as a human being and how that motivates you and how you light up when you talk about it and when you have ideas. I mean, she has ideas all the time and, and some stick and some don't. And they're, you know, to be able to sit back and support and to watch this thing happen is absolutely amazing. And just to see the fruit of the work that she's done, it's awesome. And, there's no place I'd rather be than supporting her.

Shawna: 30:41

That's amazing. That's incredible. And that's definitely the type of partner we all want. That is incredible.

Diane: 30:46

Yes,

Shawna: 30:48

Yes. Yes. It's possible. It's possible. And I love the concept of a plan A that's supporting both of you. It's not a plan B. You both want these things and you both wanna be excited about what you're doing and what you're focused on, and so you have a plan A to make that happen for both of you. I love that.

Josh: 31:04

Yeah. And that's, I mean, when you said that, she said it first and I was like, wow, not even plan B. Let's go straight to plan A. And it really opened my eyes like. This is possible. We can do this.

Diane: 31:16

Well, and the universe, you know, it's that the universe conspires to help you when you've truly committed to something and everything has just, it continues to fall in line. Whether it's, jobs, work like, and even you said it a couple weeks ago, you know that everything always works out once you fully commit to something.

Shawna: 31:35

Mm-hmm. and this partnership you both fully committed to and it looks like it's working out pretty well as well.

Diane: 31:41

Yeah.

Josh: 31:41

Oh yeah. Yeah. It's pretty good. Absolutely.

Shawna: 31:44

So the other thing we always do on The, Grit, Show is we always leave our listeners with something to take away, walk away with something they can apply. So if we can talk to our listeners who are looking for better communication, better connection in their current relationship. Or listeners who are looking for that partner, that person, what are some like practical things we can give them to kind of walk away with? Do you have thoughts on that?

Diane: 32:07

I think doing the work on yourself first, you know, expecting that you are, you have to believe that you are enough as a human, as an individual, and to not settle for anything less than yourself and not look for someone else to fill that gap for you. I think is the first step and that it's never too late. It, it can still happen, you know, not give up regardless of how old you are. Whatever has happened in your life to got to get you where you are currently, it's, it's never too late. Just be enough for yourself first, and that will exude out. And you put that vibe out to someone else.

Josh: 32:49

And yes, And, for me, I, I would say be aware. Be aware of, of who you are, how you feel, what you want, and then don't stop there. Set the intention, put the intention out there. You know, I could make a list of, of things that I intended for and, and you would check all of them off. And for so long I was, I didn't, why would I ask for that? That I, I don't deserve that, or whatever. Right. The reality is we did, we do. Everybody does. Mm-hmm. And if you're aware of what you want and you put that intention out there and you set it and you think about it and you write about it, um, journaling is another piece of self-care that we didn't, we kind of glossed over. But that would be my thing is just be aware and don't be afraid to set that intention. And it might happen next week. It might happen next year, have faith that it will happen because it will. It absolutely will.

Shawna: 33:47

That is incredible and I can definitely speak to that as well cuz I have my amazing partner that I am so blessed to have and so grateful for. And I actually, there was a list that I made, a very intentional thing I didn't meet him on, online dating, but when I did online dating, I made a very intentional profile saying, this is what I want, and described the person and all the things. And it was so funny cuz he and I found it later and it 100% described him. It didn't describe anyone I met online, but 100%. That described him and it was so important for me to know that's what I wanted and to be willing to walk past all the options that didn't, that didn't meet that, and to stop online dating and then have him enter my life again. He and I have a long story, but it was incredible to actually recognize it. It took me deciding, this is what I want and this is what I'm waiting for, and it's gonna happen. And to believe it was possible and to believe that he existed and. We found each other and we have that. And so I think that a hundred percent what you said Josh, I love that journaling that and knowing that. And I love that. I love that you had it in your bra, Diane and then let it go

Diane: 34:53

I, it was in my heart. It was as close to my heart as I could get it.

Shawna: 34:57

No, I love that. I love that. So definitely be very specific and know that you deserve it. And I think that's the piece that Josh was really saying is that to, to recognize that it's possible and to own it is possible and that you deserve that level of a relationship. Yes.

Josh: 35:10

You're worthy. We're all worthy. Yeah, absolutely.

Shawna: 35:13

and I love having this, especially today as you guys are releasing this on Valentine's Day for people, that when you're in that mindset of searching for what you want to know, that exists and you can have it. People need to know that and to own that, and I think it's why we're having that released today so people can really hear that and own that and be connected to that, and to know that they can have that in their, their relationships that they have too, to be able to live up to that. This has been delightful. Thank you both so much for being here today. I really appreciate it.

Josh: 35:42

Thank you. Thank you for having us. This is really cool. Yes, it's awesome

Shawna: 35:46

Thank you for being here. As part of our audience today, if you're interested in checking out our coloring books, all you need to do is Google the color of Grit and they should pop up. You can definitely find them on Amazon. You can also get sample pages off of our website, The Grit Show dot com. Don't forget, you are the only one of you that this world has got, and that means something. We'll be here again next Tuesday. I hope you are too.