Decision Making–Getting Past Overthinking and Overwhelm w/Kirsten Parker -11

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Shawna Rodrigues 0:00

Decision making is something we do every single day, multiple times a day. And it can be overwhelming and debilitating. That's why I'm so glad we're hanging out with today's expert.

Shawna Rodrigues 0:16

Welcome to The Grit Show. Growth on purpose. I'm Shawna Rodrigues. And I'm honored to be leading you on today's journey as part of this community, learning and growing together as seekers and thrivers. I'm glad you're here, and I hope you stick around until the end. I'll tell you more about our summer giveaway. Today is the last day to enter.

Shawna Rodrigues 0:36

Kirsten helps overthinkers trust their choices. She spent years moving her life and career forward. Masters Degree in tow, feeling way more angst than certainty. Despite success and smarts, she second guessed big and small decisions, overvalued others opinions, and usually catastrophize about what could go wrong. Coaching allowed her to finally feel calm, clear and confident so she could feel present in her life. And that's exactly what she helps clients do now. Welcome Kirsten, I'm so glad you decided to join us.

Kirsten Parker 1:11

Thank you. I'm so excited to talk to you today.

Shawna Rodrigues 1:14

I would love to hear a little more about your story. Can you kind of lead us through your path from your Yale master's degree to where you are today, as a coach?

Kirsten Parker 1:24

Yes, happy to. I always did theater. I think I got into it the way a lot of people get into it because I was did it as kid and then I just like never stopped and never had a master plan about, this is exactly how I'll make money in my life. I just kept on doing it because it was fun. And I think looking back, I can see I didn't really overthink it, which high five. So I found my way into stage managing in undergrad. And then I just kept on that track. So I worked professionally for a couple years, went to Yale for the master's degree for three years. And I was like good at my job. I was really good at it. Never felt like it was my purpose. That question never really came up. I just kept doing it. At some point, I think I stopped doing it just because it was fun. And more because it's what I had always done. And I was really good at it. And especially like every overthinker I meet is also like an overachiever. So it's hard to stop something you're good at. And I just wanted to keep getting better. And it was also my identity was all wrapped up in it by then. So by the time I got out of grad school, I both knew I was going to quit this job and also had like, just gotten the graduate degree, invested a lot of time and energy and lifeforce into this path that I was like, I guess I'm going down this path now? So it deescalated from there. I kept doing it. I followed a boy to New York, stage managed, just kept doing my job, kept looking for more gigs, kept loving it sometimes. And still this big question was in my mind of when are you going to figure out what you're doing next? I didn't feel a rush to answer that question. Probably because I wasn't looking directly at it and realizing like, this is legitimate. So I just stayed and I ended up, I'm not regretful of it. It is definitely why I teach what I teach now. But I stayed in it for a long, long time and ended up making my way back to LA where I'm from, worked for the biggest theatre company in town, made wonderful friends, had great experiences, had terrible experiences. And unfortunately, me finding my purpose was like, I'm one of those stories that like, the guy just got so disillusioned and worked with someone so miserable, that didn't know how to process their own stuff so they took it out on everyone around them. And that was my last show. I was like, okay, when we finished that tour, I got back to town, had gotten rid of my apartment, had nowhere officially to live, had no job and I was like, what I do know is I'm never working for anyone else again. I'm never working in theater again. I'm not working nights. I'm not working weekends. I'm not getting yelled at. I'm not making anybody coffee.

Shawna Rodrigues 4:32

You learned a lot. You had a lot of decisions right there.

Kirsten Parker 4:35

Yeah, it sucks to have to get to that point. And finally watch yourself make a decision, that's okay. Now I want to have the conversation with someone by then thank God I had exposure to coaching. I'd had a teeny, teeny, tiny, did a five week program with a group that changed my whole life. But I went back to that coach and I made that decision like, okay, this is an important question to answer now, what am I going to do next? It just stings looking back, then you were asking that question for seven years, and you never made it important to answer until you were miserable and desperate and anxious. But that's how I got there.

Shawna Rodrigues 5:18

If it's not directly in front of you, you can put it over there long enough and not had to look directly at the question.

Kirsten Parker 5:24

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues 5:25

I think a lot of people can identify with that. I think we've all had those big question but if we get far enough away from them, they look smaller, stepping back and further away, because we don't want to acknowledge how big that question is, though.

Kirsten Parker 5:38

100%. Actually, that's the episode that's coming out on my podcast. It's number 12. And I talk about, amongst other things, three behaviors that are very common for over thinkers, when we don't feel clear, we usually avoid it. Totally. This will probably solve itself.

Shawna Rodrigues 5:56

Yeah.

Kirsten Parker 5:57

I'm busy. We're going into tech, we have a next thing. I can't uproot my whole life right now. Or we angst about it. That's like, when you look directly at that question, I think, but you're like, face is so close to the screen, you're like, I can't see anything. It's just terrible.

Shawna Rodrigues 6:13

If you're that close to it, it doesn't actually exist, because you can only see one little thought of it, not the actual totality.

Kirsten Parker 6:19

Yeah, you're just totally, you're just focused on, on how terrible it feels to not know, all the answers to the questions and all you're focused on, it's like, you know, having an injury and then just looking right at it hurts. And it's like, that's not helping anything, not to invalidate that pain. But like, if that's all you're doing to address the pain, it's like,

Shawna Rodrigues 6:42

that just magnifies it.

Kirsten Parker 6:44

I think I, I did all of it. I avoided it, I indulged the angsty drama. And then another thing I did, and I see people doing a lot, too, was like trying to outrun the lack of clarity. So like, I didn't feel super attached to my old job. I didn't feel purpose. You know, I read Big Magic. And I was like, what are you talking about? Who are these people? Why are they so passionate?

Shawna Rodrigues 7:11

What? That's a thing? No, that's not really a thing, I don't understand you people. Like, I don't know. I don't understand that.

Kirsten Parker 7:17

And it's crazy. Because like, I work with artists, exclusively with, like, creative people, but very few people, I think. I mean, I don't have to go into a whole diatribe about theater. But I worked with a lot of people who were just in it because it was fun. They were good at it. And they did manage to find the jobs that paid good money, and I made good money. But a lot of people were in it for the ego, and we're in it for, I don't know, whatever else they got out of it. And then a lot of the people who are really passionate and they're like, art is my purpose, are super passionate, or like not making any money. That's not who I was working with. So that was kind of a side note, but I never felt like that was my purpose, so, but I did keep trying to outrun 30 by just working harder and like, hoping clarity would come to me,

Shawna Rodrigues 8:09

yeah, just magically appear,

Kirsten Parker 8:11

which it did. Yeah. So finally, I had that conversation with the coach. That's like, the end of the story, when I find my purpose is, I was convinced it was gonna be this huge, frickin six months, minimum, horrible, terrible, difficult journey. And I had like a 90 minute conversation with her and she was like, you sound like you kind of just want to help people feel better. Like when you felt better when you got coaching.

Shawna Rodrigues 8:38

Right now, it's gonna be harder than that I waited too long to figure this out.

Kirsten Parker 8:43

That's the other thing too. And my therapist had said, you should be a life coach. I was like, Okay, I'll just go get a, whatever I thought life coaches did, right? I'll go get a bunch of crystals. And then I'll, I'll just be a life coach and just change my whole identity and like, what master's degree? And then I got a life coach, and it changed my life. And then I met with her after I decided to quit my whole career. And she was like, I think you want to be a life coach. And I was like, how was it so obvious to everyone else?

Shawna Rodrigues 9:13

How is it so obvious to everyone else? Is that something you work with people on?

Kirsten Parker 9:16

I think that our brains are so noisy, I think it is sometimes impossible to hear ourselves clearly. Especially if we're not practiced in it. If you don't like actually realize that you can't hear yourself, and you can't, and you have no idea how to, I think it's very hard to hear yourself clearly. And a lot of what I do with my clients is just repeat back to them things they say because we can hear ourselves sometimes, but we can miss the magnitude of what we're saying. Like one of my clients right now is changing the structure of her job. Because it is in her words, not sustainable to continue as is. But I had to tell her that she said that, like at least six times. Because we can downplay how important the things we want are and the things we know. Like not even that we want. And she was like, she was like, no, it's not sustainable. I was like, okay, you said that.

Shawna Rodrigues: 10:05

This is what you want, right? Yes. It's like, we're pointing out that big thing in the corner. Let's move a little closer. Just a little closer. Because you see it a little bit closer.

Kirsten Parker: 10:17

Yeah. Yeah. So, I was like, what might life look like if I decided I was gonna be a life coach?

Shawna Rodrigues: 10:25

I love how quietly you have to say that. If I change everything about my identity and everything that's important to me and go this whole different direction, when I already have my master's degree over here, and all of my friends and all of my life and everything I build over here, and I go over here. What does it actually mean for me? We think identity being wrapped up in it is a big part of it.

Kirsten Parker: 10:48

Yeah, for the, I think for the, at least the first six months, but maybe even the first year, probably the first year, people would ask, what do you do? And I would introduce yourself as like, well I used to be a stage manager. But it was, that's so much within there.

Shawna Rodrigues: 11:04

Yes. That totally makes sense. So as you made this shift, and then you've come up with your specialty really is around decision making. So how did that come to be in the forefront for you as what you specialize in? How'd that rise to the top as what your clients really needed support around?

Kirsten Parker: 11:22

Yes, I worked one on one with people for about three and a half years. At the beginning, I would work with anybody on anything, and found out quickly who I like working with and who I'm good at working with. And as I got more training, and as I worked with more people, my clients and I became more and more, you know, cohesive. And so at the end of that three and a half years, I sat in a pile of notes, because I create a decision anchor for all my clients, which is vision, goals and values, you make sure that they know who they are and where they're going. Even if they have lots of questions about that, too. And I like printed, everyone's out. Cut them all up. So I was like literally sitting in piles of visions and goals and values. And it was like, Okay, what does everyone have in common?

Shawna Rodrigues: 12:20

Wow.

Kirsten Parker: 12:20

It was such a fun project. I really, I gathered everyone's core values together. And I found out like, what are the type of people that I work with? What do they tend to value? And that was very interesting information. And then like, what are their vision statements? Like, who are they trying to be? Who are all the people I'm working with trying to become? And what are their goals? And I love your question of like, how did it rise the surface? Because it literally like, everyone had goals about like, taking faster action, not overthinking. And I just started seeing the common denominators rise to the surface. I was like, it's decision making, which seems broad on paper, because like everything is decisions, but really when I started looking up, okay, who's teaching decision making? Like, where can people go for help with this? I didn't find anything. I found stuff for business people. I found stuff for C suite people, stuff for, you know, decisions on parenting, decisions on organic farming, but there's like, I couldn't find anything that was like, what if I just feel like a smart, functional person but decisions feel harder than they should be? And like, that's what everyone that I worked with had in common? Well, I'll do it.

Shawna Rodrigues: 13:42

We need someone to step up, you got that. Come on.

Kirsten Parker: 13:45

All my clients are such wonderful humans too. I was like, I gotta get all these people in a room. Because everybody thinks that their problems are so unique. And overthinkers are so hard on themselves. They're like, I shouldn't have this problem. I shouldn't be doing this. I should be better at this by now. And I found myself always telling people stories about other clients, you know, within the bounds of anonymity. I was like, Y'all just need to hear from each other. And let's see that you're not alone. Like really connect with people in this intention to become a release, self trusting, like, powerful decision maker. So I did. I put them in a room together. It is so much fun.

Shawna Rodrigues: 14:28

Yeah. You know, primarily you work with groups more than one on one or did you do both?

Kirsten Parker: 14:32

It's group but it has one on one included in it. Because sometimes you just need that time for yourself. So, I was just like, doing it all together. But the group aspect is really important. And I think, I hear both things from people who joined because some people join community because they're either working alone or they just will know themselves in there. They know that they like teaming up to accomplish a goal. And some people kind of join almost in spite of the group. That they know that the group is there, but they're more interested in what they'll get, which is like, trusting every decision they make. And then they end up being so grateful that they're like, oh, my gosh, we couldn't do it without the group. Because it's like, you have to hear these other people's stories. And you have to be able to watch somebody else get coached on something that you need. But like, like I said, when sometimes our heads are so noisy, sometimes we can't hear ourselves clearly, or hear other people clearly.

Shawna Rodrigues: 15:26

So what do you find is the most common factor that holds people back from making decisions?

Kirsten Parker: 15:31

That they don't really understand what they're afraid of. I think, if you're not making a fast decision, or you're making it, and then you're like, you're, you're dipping your toe over the line and then back. You're making it and then you're unmaking it and you're rethinking and you're second guessing it, I think what I see nine times out of 10, it's not confusion, it's not indecision, it's just a lack of awareness about fear. Because everyone I work with is very smart. I'm sure all of your listeners are the same, right? It's like, we think we should be smart enough. So if our brain has come up with a question, we should expect ourselves for people to to answer it. And if we're not easily answering it quickly, and confidently, then we're like, oh, that means there's something wrong with me. When really looking at a decision you're gonna make, you go straight to investigating what you're afraid of, in the sunshine, like not, not doing it on the side in the dark, you really go directly to that, it makes the decision so much easier, makes that process so much faster.

Shawna Rodrigues: 16:31

You acknowledge what it is that's holding you back, instead of trying to blame it on yourself, or just feel like there's nothing there, you actually acknowledge what the elephant is or what the spider is about, you know.

Kirsten Parker: 16:41

Yeah. And you don't invalidate the elephant. That's what I mean, if people are aware of their fears, usually what they are doing is like invalidating it by saying, I shouldn't be worried about that, or I'm really worried what other people are gonna think. But I know, I shouldn't be. But it's like, you are. And it's literally, it's affecting, literally your whole life, because you're not making this decision. So instead of just deciding we shouldn't, we shouldn't be afraid, so it doesn't count, so let's not talk about it, let's talk about it. It's like the simplest thing, but it's, it's the game changeist thing.

Shawna Rodrigues: 17:13

Game changeist. That is my favorite Kirsten word so far today, the game changeist thing is to identify what it is that has that fear, acknowledging it, knowing that it's a thing.

Kirsten Parker: 17:26

And then I help people, I kind of talk about it as like becoming fluent in fear, like I help people understand, like, open up lines of communication with themselves, super, super clearly so they can watch themselves, want to do something, get afraid of XYZ, and then have a constructive conversation with themselves about that fear, those perceived consequences, their needs and wants, so they can move forward.

Shawna Rodrigues: 17:54

That's wonderful.

Kirsten Parker: 17:56

And I usually help facilitate that conversation to get to begin with so that they can really practice having it on their own.

Shawna Rodrigues: 18:02

There you go. Do you have an example of a client where they're perceived fears, and this decision making got in the way of them kind of realizing that purpose, and you were able to get to the other side of that?

Kirsten Parker: 18:13

Well, I have a client right now who is moving into one career. And out of another one, where it sits very similarly to me, although she's like, much more accomplished and highly educated, but she had a lot of investment and a lot of identity in this different career. She knew pretty clearly she was done with this one. And it's interesting, because her purpose isn't exactly in this new career, her purpose is much more self focused, which is like, my purpose is to enjoy my life.

Shawna Rodrigues: 18:47

Yes.

Kirsten Parker: 18:48

And love my family and make a bunch of money, because that's fun, and do more of what I want. Like, it's I love, I would be interested to hear what her conception of her purpose is right now, because it's not as attached to this job thing as I think of it usually. Do you hear that a lot?

Shawna Rodrigues: 19:07

Yeah. I think that's actually one thing I'm hoping we get to explore more is that understanding that purpose doesn't have to be wrapped up in your career, that's often when you lose your purpose. Because you wrap your identity, and you try to attach your purpose to your career. And it's often mismatched and it gets confusing. And so knowing what your purpose is, doesn't have to be connected to your career. And sometimes you can realize your purpose, through the work you do and through your career, but not in all cases, and it gets dangerous. Cause careers can shift and change, careers can get lost.

Kirsten Parker: 19:07

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues: 19:08

And so it's time knowing that deeper part of your purpose so that you can keep it flowing. And that even goes with, if your purpose is to be a mom and to be part of a family, to understand your purpose is to give your nurturing and your caring and your love to people closest and dearest to you, and so it can shift and change as a mom, right? So that can shift and change as being a mom can change. So that as you look at purposes, you see that deeper layers of it, like you're saying, like her deeper layers, not, she might have been realizing some of that throughout her career. But that didn't mean, when the identity got wrapped in is her to get away from that career. And that's why it's exciting to be able to separate those things out and find yourself in there so that you can be able to move towards what's really realizing your purpose.

Kirsten Parker: 20:21

I love that. I love that it doesn't have to be what so many of us grew up thinking it should be, or we're taught from someone that your purpose should be the job you choose, or you better choose a good job to, it should probably help people, especially if you're a woman, so I love that she let herself get some space to find out like, what is my purpose? Like, really, in terms of what do I want the purpose of my time to be? My energy? And the fear, like natural fears came up. Of course, right? So she was afraid of certain things like, what is somebody going to think? What, what relationship is going to be compromised by this? What is it going to mean if I don't immediately make money at this new career? And of course, that's not how fears present in our mind, right? We're usually like, at the surface level, it's like, oh, I can't. Like, I can't, I can't disappoint that person. But if that's how it sounding in your head, it's a tough conversation, right? Because it's like, well, if you think that, then you're right. Like you're making yourself right. So it's like, okay, so I just helped her, just continue the conversation, what do you think is going to happen if you don't make money right away? And really like separating out the fears, and to simplify things, really separating out like, well, I am worried about this logistical bill payment. That's like, great, you can address that on its own. What else? I'm worried that like, my husband's going to judge me, by itself, I'm worried that I'm gonna fail. I said great. That's so good to know, we'll address that by itself. I can't not make money. Right? Same thing with like, the fear of, like, the FOFO, right? The fear of people's opinions. She was so afraid of what someone was going to think, and what the consequences were going to be. And it's so hard to do it on your own. It's so hard, because your, your thoughts get all piled up on yourself. And your anxiety is making your head all cloudy. So it's really nice to have some help and just separate out your fears, simplify it, and like take them on one at a time. So she got to make that purpose that she was becoming clearer and clearer on, and anchor into that than this nervous system reaction to like, the thought of like not making money or upsetting this person. Because you can see when you look into it, and you really investigate that fear, and see how much is behind that initial like knee jerk fear. Of course, your nervous system is like wanting you to shut down and run away. Because look at how much is baked into this one tiny thought, I can't make money. It's like, you're worried about this bill and your husband's opinion of you and like your, what, whatever failure means to you. So it's, just breathe, and then take on one at a time. So it doesn't feel impossible. And then in the meantime, she gets to keep going implementing her decision to actually make this career shift instead of staying stuck in that fear. Not really understanding what it's about and missing out on living her purpose.

Shawna Rodrigues: 23:13

Yeah, I mean, it's like layers of cellophane that you stack them all up, and it just looks black and you can't even see thread. Then you need someone else to peel out these layers and find those colors for you because you came to find where they unpeel.

Kirsten Parker: 23:26

Yes, that's brilliant analogy. That's exactly what it's like. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues: 23:30

Yeah, the coach is very useful. They can help you peel back the layers and find the different colors so you can start to see in the black that's blocking you from the things you want and finding your purpose.

Kirsten Parker: 23:41

I love a good analogy.

Shawna Rodrigues: 23:43

Beautiful thing. I don't have confetti, but I have an analogy.

Kirsten Parker: 23:47

I'll take on what's right.

Shawna Rodrigues: 23:50

That works. So in your life, when you were able to pivot to be able to do coaching and finding it, what's that feel like to find the place where you bet and where you could offer what you had?

Kirsten Parker: 24:04

It actually feel like I'm sitting into my purpose, like, I found my lane. If I really think about that specific question, it felt calm and joyful at the same time. And they're like, grounded like, certain, unattached. Because when I'm in my purpose, my purpose is helping free the world from overthinking. I want to help all the over thinkers, because I can see on a timeline just how much of my own life I missed out on because I was still in my head. And I don't want anybody to miss out on their life. Our time is not guaranteed. We don't have to go just like jumping off cliffs and spending our 401 K's on yachts. But we do have to have a really good reason that we not act on our dreams. When I'm in that mode with people and I'm having conversations that help them prioritize themselves, hear themselves more clearly, those self honoring decision, even if they like, laugh about how silly it is, but they still know they, they're going to celebrate it in the group because they're like, I actually know this is a big deal. That feels like, great, I don't need anything else. It calms the part of my brain and it's always trying to plan the next thing and look ahead to like, oh, my gosh, we could do this. Or we can do that. Where are we failing? And what's everyone else doing and all of that noise. It's the calm place in my brain.

Shawna Rodrigues: 25:30

And that's why that's the interesting juxtaposition of the name of the show be The Grit Show. And yet the conversations are all about finding the ease, and trying to help people realize, we have grit. I think my listeners have grit. And too often, people try to associate the grit with being stuck in that career. And just working harder at something, and persevering where you shouldn't be moving more in the quicksand to just like working yourself deeper, instead of actually getting under the quicksand and finding ways to be where things can flow and be in alignment. And you can be using your strength and using your purpose and finding where things move easier. So that's why I love the title because that's the listeners but I definitely want us here to help people look at the what, you have the grit, look, look at how you can flow easier, and having better decision making. And not being paralyzed by all the option. Definitely part of that. You are such a gift.

Kirsten Parker: 26:31

Thank you. You are too.

Shawna Rodrigues: 26:32

Well, then I'm glad that we come together. That's the perfect combination.

Kirsten Parker: 26:36

Yeah, I am to.

Shawna Rodrigues: 26:38

Yes. And you have a lot of exciting things that you offer just on your website for people to be able to explore and figure some things out for themselves. Can you talk a little bit about some of those things you have?

Kirsten Parker: 26:48

Yes, delicious. I have the podcast. So you can listen to the Decision Masters podcast and start undoing your overthinking habits right away. Build that self trust, make the best decision. And on the website, you can go to KirstenParker.com/checklist and get this like really beefy checklist. It takes a second to get through it. Six behaviors to make every decision easier. And you can go to KirstenParker.com/quiz. Take the momentum quiz. Get your personalized action plan so that you can figure out what's killing my momentum. What exactly do I need to do to reboost it? It's going to be super easy and fun. And you can go to KirstenParker.com/clarity and get the clarity workshop if you really are in this like purpose finding place or you want to just organize your thoughts and get some goals down on paper. It is so good.

Shawna Rodrigues: 27:44

Nice. Lots of great option and she has some great reel that I see. They're so much fun. I love them. I met her and then I saw those, and I was like, you're so entertaining. And so easy to identify with.

Kirsten Parker: 27:57

It's on Instagram. I don't know if they get posted on Facebook too. But I hang out mostly on Instagram. I find Facebook more overwhelming.

Shawna Rodrigues: 28:05

All right. Good to know.

Kirsten Parker: 28:08

@KPCoaching.

Shawna Rodrigues: 28:09

KPCoaching on Instagram. Great way to find you. I love it. You guys go check her out. And I'm excited about the podcast. I haven't listened yet. And I'm excited to do that. The other thing we get to talk about a little bit is self care. What do you do for self care, Kirsten?

Kirsten Parker: 28:23

I slow down. I'm like a fast talker. I'm a fast worker. So it's very easy for me to just work and never stop. And so my self care is really like allowing myself to slow down and savor moments. Like savor a little snuggle with my perfect angel baby pup, Clive. Like, I made our little balcony into an oasis because I love loving my environment. And I think those are things that like, those little things that are not at the top of the list are not the most important thing for you to spend your time or money on, get kicked down the road a lot. So I think that my self care is like interrupting my own inner overwork or overachiever, hustler voice, and, like, lovingly interrupting that out. Navigating like, it's okay to make this other thing important. So that you can't go out and have a morning cup of coffee on the balcony, which is now covered in palm trees obviously, and like savor it and not need to go through a to do list in your head or not need to cut it short because you probably should be working. It's allowing those ease moments to stretch out and just soaking them up.

Shawna Rodrigues: 29:40

That's awesome. As part of our desire to read self care, we have a series of coloring book. Our first one is out. It is the Vintage Mermaid and Magnificent Ocean one and we're going to be having one coming out soon which is the You Got This which is inspirational quotes and funny sayings. And so we send one of those to each of our guests as a thank you. So Kirsten, do you have an idea about which one of those soloring books you would like to have?

Kirsten Parker: 30:08

Oh, yeah, you got to quote me. Give me the quotes all day long. Quotes and funny sayings.

Shawna Rodrigues: 30:13

Quotes and funny sayings. Done. We're gonna give that to Kirsten.

Kirsten Parker: 30:17

I love a quote.

Shawna Rodrigues: 30:17

She'll find a good quote, I like it, I like it. So we're going to send you a copy of that as soon as it comes out, and you're gonna have to post some of those pages, when you get them colored. Deal? It's about your, your way of expressing yourself on the page. However, that might be.

Kirsten Parker: 30:32

Self care skills.

Shawna Rodrigues: 30:33

Self care, yes, self care skills. That's a skill I'm looking for. Exactly. If we could ask our listeners who are walking away from our podcast today, what are some things they can just do tomorrow, tonight, to add to their day to help them look at decisions and be able to cut through the overwhelm a little bit?

Kirsten Parker: 30:49

Hmm, I think it would be fun if you're listening to this, and you want to take on a little 24 hour challenge, I think it would be fun to challenge yourself to make fast decisions.

Shawna Rodrigues: 31:00

Nice.

Kirsten Parker: 31:01

Not fast decisions about like, your 401K, like I'm saying, but if there's, if you're planning a lunch, you foresee yourself overthinking that a little bit because you're getting nervous about, what if they're going like this, am I going to want that? I would take that opportunity to just make a fast decision and commit to it. You can make the stakes as low or high as you want. But I think it's so fun to start proving to yourself like, I can make fast decisions, you just make them easy and simple. And the world will not catch on fire. The stronger you make that muscle like in little tiny decisions about lunch, the easier, big decisions get, the more quickly you can make them, the less drama there is. So I would say you go build that muscle and make a fast decision about lunch. Done.

Shawna Rodrigues: 31:49

Done. All right. Next 24 hours everyone listening, whatever time, go check your watch, right now. The 24 hours, make them fast decisions and see how that builds your muscle.

Kirsten Parker: 32:01

Yes.

Shawna Rodrigues: 32:03

All right, that sounds like a great actual way to do things. Thank you so much, Kirsten. That was very valuable. And few reminders to get your free overthinkers checklist, it's on KirstenParker.com/checklist.

Kirsten Parker: 32:16

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues: 32:16

And then there's also a decision master's program that's opening up enrollment is it regularly but there's gonna be one starting in October. Is that right?

Kirsten Parker: 32:24

Yeah, yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues: 32:25

But that a little bit, too. I don't want to lose that one.

Kirsten Parker: 32:27

Yeah, that is for people who really want to commit to making this habit change important and making it easy. So if you are in overthinking, angst, and you see yourself over valuing other people's opinions, catastrophizing what could go wrong, and you know, you're getting in your own way, then the decision master's program is your place to find community, for other likeminded smarty pants who are all struggling with the same stuff, and build a bunch of tools. And in real life, change the habits that you don't want to live with anymore. And it's fun, because it's the holiday edition. So it's like, let's end 2022 with a bang. It extends a little bit into 2023. Let's like start 2023 strong and then everything that's the source of the most like self criticism and frustration in your life. Let's just like frickin get rid of it so that you don't have to live the rest of your life with it can be amazing.

Shawna Rodrigues: 33:24

Hear it out.

Kirsten Parker: 33:26

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues: 33:27

I like it. Excellent. So yeah, so keep that in your back pocket as well. And I'm sure if you follow her on Instagram, @KPCoach, you're going to be able to learn more about that as it comes available too.

Kirsten Parker: 33:38

Yes.

Shawna Rodrigues: 33:38

Good plan. If you head on over to our website, thegritshow.com, today is the last day to enter our color my summer and $50 gift card giveaway. And you do not want to miss out on this. You can win one of five coloring books, and a $50 gift card. You have until 11pm Pacific to enter thegritshow.com. Easy to remember. That's the title of the show. So get over there before you forget and get yourself entered. The default for the gift card is Amazon. But I'm letting the winner choose anywhere we can purchase an E gift card. So I'm hoping for something that really supports self care. We're kind of into that around here. So, a local restaurant, favorite coffee place, bookstore, spa, will let you have Amazon become on spot. Go with a spa, thank you so much for being with us today. And thank you, Kirsten for being with us as well.

Kirsten Parker: 34:31

It's a pleasure. Thank you so much.

Shawna Rodrigues: 34:33

Quick reminder, the last week was our last scheduled Thursday thoughts. We'll be back next Tuesday and every Tuesday after with our conversational interviews. We've already heard from a few folks that they really love the Thursday thoughts. And if that is you, send me a DM on Instagram. I love to hear from you. And if there's enough interest, we'll see about bringing that back. Your input is important. After all, you are the only one of you, the only human being on this planet with your unique gifts, talents, opinions and perspective to offer and that means something.