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Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:00:00

I'm curious if very many of you are going to be surprised by this, but I know I was. On Sunday, when I went to run errands, I heard my very first holiday song. And sure enough, when I walked into the stores, there was holiday garb everywhere. Everywhere. And I, of course, still had a couple of Halloween decorations on my porch that I planned on gathering when I got home. So, clearly, I'm just not quite ready for that shift into the holidays in my personal life. However, luckily for you, I've planned ahead for the podcast, and I'm ready for us to start transitioning in that direction when it comes to the podcast and our conversations. So, are you ready to start mulling over your plans and to start putting together your favorite parts? Because that's where we should start. Right? Focusing on our favorite parts and actually getting excited for them and excited about the holidays because then it makes it a little easier to make those transitions. I want to make sure that you had quality information and that I got it to you early this year.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:01:13

Last year, I got it tuned December because that's when I was thinking people want it. But we need to plan ahead. Right? So, if we're going to have a conversation about things like planning get togethers for the holidays and how to entertain, it's useful to have that information in advance. So, this year, I've got you. We're doing this early in November. So, before Thanksgiving, before Hanukkah, before Christmas, before you just want to have people over for winter solstice or for New Year's or for any celebration. For dinner because it's cold outside and you want to have a soup night. I do love soup nights. So, you can get ready to connect and entertain in whatever way is best for you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:01:58

Less perfection and more connection are the motto of our guest today, and I love that motto. It is idea. Right? She has all the secrets to help us bring the joy back to the holiday hosting and whatever you might be thinking about for your holidays. I recommend we start with that and how to make it all easier. Because as we start to envision our holidays, if we're starting with the easiest way to do it, it's going to make it all a little bit better. You're actually getting to hear a conversation that we recorded a year ago. But since it's my first year of podcasting, I didn't realize that I should have released it immediately instead of saving it until December when I thought people would want to hear it. So, I did not know that many of you are juggling a lot of things. I mean, I have time for your normal podcast routines in December.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:02:44

So, this year, I got it to you early. It'll help with you being able to apply the information you're receiving as well. Mara even has a joyful hostess crash course that is open right now that you can check out. So, if she resonates with you and you're ready to get even more tips and tricks and be prepared for whatever you may have in store in the coming months, it doesn't even have to be in the winter. It could be in the spring. She's got your resources for you. And, hey, if your organization needs to take a new way of doing the holiday party, you can also see if she does her holiday entertaining workshops via Zoom. It can be a much better wait for team bonding. Right? For now, you can ease into your holidays by making sure the perfection doesn't distract you from making the most of your gatherings and the reasons you put together the party in the first place. Mara has a lot of clever ideas, and I had such a great conversation with her. I'm excited for you to get to listen to it, and she offers them freely, you're going to walk away with a lot of good fresh ways to make your entertaining better and to look forward to gathering this season. So, I hope this brings joy back to your holidays and helps you to entertain with ease.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 03:53

Welcome to The Grit Show, where our focus is growth on purpose. I'm your host, Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm honored to be part of this community as we journey together with our grit intact to learn more about how to thrive and how to get the most out of life. It means a lot that you are here today. As you listen, I encourage you to think of who may appreciate the tidbits of knowledge we are sharing and to take a moment to pass this along to them. Everyone appreciates a friend that thinks of them, and these conversations are meant to be shared and to spark even more connections.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:04:30

Today's guest is the founder of Joyful Hostess, and entertaining is in her blood. Mara grew up in a family that hosted everything from big holiday gatherings to impromptu Sunday dinners to lively cocktail parties, and she loved every second of it. She's carried on those traditions with her own family because she believes inviting people to gather is an act of love. Joyful Hostess is on a mission to teach women to let go of perfection and bring out their own inner joyful hostess. Mara does his work to put more love and joy into the world because when women feel good and confident about hosting more gatherings, that means more celebrations, more bringing people together and, ultimately, more joy. To support them on their journey, she's created lots of resources to make it easy. From books to digital done for you party kits, an online joyful hostess academy, and more. You'll get to learn more about her YouTube channel and blog with recipes, tips, and ideas. We'll get to all of that as we talk to her today. Thank you so much for joining us, Mara. I'm glad you're here.

Mara [: 00:05:31

I'm so glad to be here.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:05:33

I know. It's perfect timing with the holidays coming up. We get to get all these great tips and tricks. So, I want to learn more about your journey to become a joyful hostess yourself because this hasn't been what you've done your whole life. Can you tell us a little bit about your journey to this?

Mara [: 00:05:50

Sure. Yeah. You're right. It hasn't really been my job, so to speak. I grew up, like you said in the intro, you know, my family hosted a lot. I loved hosting. And then for work, I got into financial services. I was there for, like, 20 years. And I loved working with clients, but my favorite stuff was connecting with them. It was, you know, we'd throw corporate events and corporate parties like that kind of stuff, like, I really, really loved that. Then, you know, like everyone, the pandemic hit. And sometimes that was a blessing because you had a chance to kind of reevaluate and decide what you want to do from here on out. Like, is this something I want to continue doing? And yeah. So, I looked, like, really hard at that and I made the decision to sell my business and start Joyful Hostess. And it has been a wild ride, Shawna, let me tell you. But it's been one that has been fun and heartbreaking and enjoyable. I've learned so much. I don't think I would have changed that decision, at least not at this point.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:06:57

Yes. I think you got to go with it. That is so amazing. I love this whole concept of bringing more joy and less perfection into hostess same.

Mara [: 00:07:05

Exactly. Yep.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:07:07

So, with doing this, what was the first thing that you started with? Was it doing the YouTube channel, or was it with doing just, like, tips and tricks for people with your blog, or where did you start?

Mara [: 00:07:16

Oh, God. I started with an Instagram channel just because that was easy to just upload, you know, photos and that kind of thing. And then figured out we were talking about technology before we started. Right? I figured out, like, how to do a website. And then that way, I could kind of have a catalog of recipes that people could go to and search through some easy cocktails and easy desserts and that kind of stuff. And then from there, I started people kept saying, like, start a YouTube channel. But I'll be honest, I was scared.

Mara [: 00:07:45

I was really scared to start a YouTube channel. And then one day, I just decided, like, I don't want to swear, but, like, f it. Like, I'm just going to do it. I don't care. I'm just going to do it. And I did it, and I was sharing cocktails every Friday. Just like easy cocktails that you can make as a hostess. And then things started to happen from there. Right? Brands are reaching out and, like, the channel was starting to grow. My Instagram is starting to grow. So, yeah, it just kind of evolved from there.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:08:10

That's so exciting. And I think it's incredible because during the pandemic, I think we were all dreaming of hosting.

Mara [: 00:08:20

We were. All of a sudden, we realized how much we missed it. Like, yeah. I really missed it. Like I said to my husband, I go, you know, I don't think we've had any home projects finished because we're hosting something. Right? Like, we haven't really done that because we haven't had people over. Right?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:08:36

Yeah. No. We had soup nights or something that me and my friends had done, and we had a soup night literally 3 weeks before the pandemic hit. And everyone's like, that was the last party I went to. Like, I haven't done this in 2 or 3 years. And so, it's funny, like, how far we've gotten away from doing that and, like, got wistful for back in the day when we used to get together. So, that is the season for a lot of people that they're actually having gatherings.

Mara [: 00:09:01

Yep. Exactly.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:09:03

Do you have tips of starting to look at that. What are your thoughts for people that are trying to get back into that zone of celebrating and gathering again?

Mara [: 00:09:10

Yeah. I would say, I mean, you don't have to start with, like, the big show whether that's Christmas or Hanukkah or Quanta, like, whatever it is. You don't have to start with a big show. I mean, it's easy enough to just start by inviting people over for dinner. Right? Just have people over dinner, just make it casual or brunch or whatever that kind of celebration you want to have and I would also say that to get back into it or to ease back into it, and I talk about this a lot is, make it easy on yourself. You don't have to make everything from scratch. I think a lot of people kind of get caught up in, you know, you're seeing things on Pinterest or YouTube or whatever and you feel like you have to make all this elaborate stuff yourself. Like, that's the only way when you're hosting and you don't.

Mara [: 00:09:53

So, you can totally outsource that. You can go to your favorite restaurant. Right? Support local business, get takeout, bring it home, put it on platters, and invite people over because I guarantee you, your guests are like, they're not going to care. They're really not going to care that you ordered a takeout versus doing it all yourself. Right? So, give yourself a break. Start that way. Maybe start with something small and start, maybe you can outsource, if not the whole dinner, then maybe just dessert. Don't worry about doing the desserts or the appetizer.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:10:22

Yes. And focus on one thing. I think that's part of the problem. I see people trying to do baby showers or bridal parties, whatever else, and they're trying to do everything Pinterest-worthy and everything they've seen is they'll say, like, why don't you focus on, like, one really cool diaper cake or one really cool appetizer or one really cool design and not, like, keep yourself up for 3 days straight trying to make everything perfect.

Mara [: 00:10:49

Oh, my gosh. You're so right about that. We were actually just talking about this that when it comes to decor, especially with the holidays coming, people would get all caught up in every inch of the house has to be decorated and it actually doesn't. So, one of my tips when you're hosting is, like you said, just focus on a couple of key areas. Like, think about where your guests are going to be spending the time and then focus on decorating those areas. So, if you're hosting, like, Christmas dinner, let's say, focus on making the table or the dining room beautiful. Right? If you're having people over for a movie night, then focus on the living room and your Christmas tree and the twinkle lights. Right? You don't have to make every inch decorated.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:11:29

Yes. Yeah. Yes. Keep it manageable. It's the joyful. Bring the joy back into it.

Mara [: 00:11:33

That's right. That's right. And our motto, like, at Joyful Hostess, is it's less, our motto is less perfection and more connection. So, isn't that good? I feel like when we get all caught up in things being perfect, you kind of miss the point of what it is. So, and I find even myself, I get guilty of that too. Right? Getting caught up in, like, oh my gosh. Like, you know, the perfect table setting or whatever. And when I think about what stresses me out, it's because I'm so focused on the perfection piece and not focused on just the connection and the people that are coming over and spending that time together.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:13

Mm-hmm. That's exactly it. Like, I talk about outcomes-based communication, so I'm going to have hard conversations like, what is the thing I want to get out of it and focus on what I want to get out of it. And so, now we just have outcome-based parties. I feel like, yeah. I want to get out of this party. I want to get out of, like, connection. I want to have time with the people I love and care about, and that's what really matters. And so that's what's important.

Mara [: 00:12:33

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:34

That's wonderful.

Mara [: 00:12:35

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:36

I just came back from a trip to the East Coast. I was gone for a few weeks. And while I was out there, I had, they threw me a bridal party, a bridal, it was kind of, it wasn't really, it was like a combination of a shower bachelorette thing, but it was kind of just gathering with friends at a friend's house.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:50

It was lovely. It was lovely. It was great because they really did. The focus was just on us spending time together. And it was amazing because we were there for 4 hours in a blink, which I wouldn't have thought it would have been 4 hours, but we didn't play games. We they didn't do, there was food that was lovely and simple, and there was a theme to the gifts because I'm an author, I'm a writer, and I love books. Everyone gave me a copy of their favorite book was what the hostess, isn’t it lovely?

Mara [: 00:13:17

Great idea.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:13:18

Oh, yeah. The hostess came up with that, and she did a beautiful job. So, props, Carolyn. You're getting props for this so she came up with that idea. Everyone gave me a copy of their favorite book to read, and it was so small and intimate, and we were just able to catch up. And especially because I hadn't been back east for, like, 3 years because of the pandemic. So, I hadn't seen everybody in a few years, and they hadn't seen each other in a few years, as it really was, just like catching up and connecting.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:13:40

And I really wonder for everyone having gathered after not for a few years, like, less is more. We didn't need to have things planned because just catching up and connecting took up the entire party, really. There wasn't room. If we would have tried to have games or tried to have other things, there wouldn't have been space for that. And more people, there wasn't space for more people because it was a small gathering. I think it was, like, 8 to 10 of us was all there was really space for all the catching up. So, small is better and simple is better right now.

Mara [: 00:14:07

Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I mean, if you wanted to elaborate, go ahead. But I feel those events that stick out in your mind, those special memories are the ones where you're really connected with the people who are there. Right? Nobody's going to remember what your color scheme was for your Christmas party or what, you know, appetizers you serve unless they're like spectacular, but people are just going to remember the time together. That's what they're going to remember. And the feeling. Right? The feeling.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:14:36

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And there were lots of little thoughtful things too, but you, so you can do the thoughtful things. But I think doing like, the 1 or 2 things that stand out. Right? Are the things that you could put your time into, like, the one, well, she did do this wonderful apple cider, spiked apple cider bar where you could spike in and put, like she even had, like, nuts, and she had, like, whipped cream and stuff to go in it.

Mara [: 00:14:59

Oh, yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:00

She had that. She had, like, her little, like, special station for things too. So, there's, like, as one special thing that stood out instead of trying to do 10 special things that stand out. So, yes.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:11

No. That's wonderful. That's great. And I think that and that's a lot of having the support from something like you and even, like, your done-for-you party kits, tell me, like, what those are? Because I'm sure those are helpful for people that felt overwhelmed with trying to plan parties too.

Mara [: 00:15:25

Yeah. So, these done-for-you party kits are basically, you can instantly download. Right now, I've got wine tasting because, you know, with I mean, that's anytime. Right? Have a wine tasting party. And it gives you everything from the invitation, if you want to send out the invitation. It gives you the wine tasting nets. It gives you printable signs that you can put up to decorate with. So, it's really one of those things where all you have to do is invite people over and obviously, get your wine and I've got everything for you. The tags, the judging sheets, the place mats, like, it's all there. My cool with those, whether it's the wine tasting one or the Rosae, I even have the hot coffee bar or hot beverage station, is that let's just make it easy, and then you can just one click, download it, print it, and you're done. You're, like, ready to go.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:13

Oh, that's brilliant. And that’s fun. Like, the wine tasting, I've done that before and you just have somebody, everybody brings a bottle of wine. You don't even have to do the wine.

Mara [: 00:16:22

That's right. We did that this summer and it was so nice. Like, it actually introduced us to wines that we wouldn't have normally tried. Right? Cause then, people were like, oh, and I made the suggestion, like, let's focus on, like, white wines. And people brought some really lovely wines, and I'm like, I never in a million years would have picked this up off the liquor store shelf because I didn't like the label. But the wine was fantastic. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:44

Oh, that's so fun. That's a great idea. So, if someone's, like, going, oh, it's already the middle of December. I want to get together with my friends. You can just download that kit and have your little gathering with your friends to have a little wine tasting party.

Mara [: 00:16:56

Yeah. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:57

Great idea. I love it. And nice and easy. Easy is good.

Mara [: 00:17:00

Exactly.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:01

Easy is good. Easy is good. That's wonderful. So, what has been your favorite part of running your business and having the Joyful Hostess?

Mara [: 00:17:09

Oh, man. There's been so much. I think the opportunity to meet other people like you, Shawna. I think in my previous role because you're meeting clients and it was just more localized, right, obviously. But now I'm meeting people from everywhere and connecting with other business owners, connecting with other women and I think that's the power of connecting online and building a business online is that there's no barriers to that. And the nice thing about it is, I also moved into a business now where there's not a whole lot of regulation around what you can do and say. You know what I'm saying? Like, with the advertising and stuff, we had to be very careful around the wording and the phrasing. And now I can build a business that feels more me and I have the creative freedom. That's where I'm looking at. The creative freedom to build a business how I want.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:18:05

That's so exciting. You get to be more authentic and channel the things you're excited about. That is wonderful.

Mara [: 00:18:12

Exactly.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:18:13

The joy into people's homes, I love it. I love that. I love that.

Mara [: 00:18:16

I love knowing that maybe in some way, I'm part of somebody's celebration. Or just get helping somebody get confident. Like, I had a young, woman reach out to me and say, you know, from watching like, your YouTubes, I was really scared about having my family over, and she said she had just had her family over for dinner. And she was, like, ecstatic about it, and it was just like one of those things around, like, yes. That's what this is about. Just showing you, you can do it and it doesn't have to be hard. And think about what that will do for you later on.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:18:50

Yes. Yes. I love that. I love that. Yeah. And looking forward too because we have New Year's. My sweetheart, he's not, my fiancé’s not big on New Year's, but I was always big on New Year's and doing things for New Year’s Eve and stuff like that. So, Mara's from Canada, so I get to ask her a Canadian question. So, is New Year's big in Canada?

Mara [: 00:19:09

Oh, for sure. For sure. For sure. Actually, this year, I'm helping a friend of mine. She wants to plan a New Year’s Eve party. She's got a new home, and we're doing a great Gatsby themed.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:19:20

Oh, fun.

Mara [: 00:19:21

Wouldn't that be fun? I can't stop. All about that and, you know, share like the tips and what we're doing for that great Gatsby New Year's Eve. It's going to be super fun.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:19:31

Theme parties. I mean, you know, those are work, but those are definitely worth it. Those are so much fun.

Mara [: 00:19:35

Yeah. We wanted it to be over the top because, like you said, we've had, like, 2 years or almost 3 years of not being able to do anything. So, this year, we're like, what is more over the top than Gary Gatsby? Like, come on.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:19:47

Yeah. I mean, this is twenties. We're going back to the twenties, so we're going back to twenties. That makes perfect sense to me. Yeah. That sounds like so much fun.

Mara [: 00:19:56

So, I do have a tip I wanted to share about, and it just reminded me, like, with New Year's Eve. I talk about how music can actually lend more ambiance to your party. Right? Like, so it can help further a theme. And so, here's a really great idea. If you create a Spotify playlist, then you had your guests contribute music, like add to the list. Then during your party, all you have do is play your like, Shawna's like New Year's Eve party mix and everybody gets to hear their favorite song at some point. And I think guests like being able to contribute to the party in that way. And the second thing I like is that even after the party is over, you kind of have this memory of your party. Right? Because now everybody has access to that playlist. Isn't that a cool idea? I like that idea.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:20:44

Okay. So, I'm totally taking this to a whole different level. So, I'm getting married in May. Obviously, we're talking about my little party in Boston and so when I was in New England, and I've been building my dancing list for my wedding for some time. And we were, like, previewing it when I was out in Boston and, like, we were, like, late coming into my party because there was 3 of us in 1 car, then 2 people showed us around in the outside listening to the dancing list and adding to the dance list. So, that's awesome.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:14

So, I should start doing the Shawna-Robbie’s dance list for the wedding. Like, I should start working on that list now. But do you have people just email you to just add the list, or is there a way to make it public and make it added, or how do you do that?

Mara [: 00:21:26

Yeah. You just make a list in Spotify, and then you can share it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:30

That's awesome.

Mara [: 00:21:31

You share the list, and then guests can just go find Shawna's, they'll find the link to your list, and then they could just add their song. They don't have to email you. You don't have to do any of that. They can just do it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:40

Nice. Nice. And if you add that song that will be to them. I mean, I will welcome any contribution. And there's only so many times you can hear who let the dog that I'm telling every younger child that's coming to my wedding.

Mara [: 00:21:53

That's right. That's right. You get the ultimate veto power over that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:58

Yes. Ultimate veto power. Alright. Yeah. No. There are some good thoughts out there, but that's so much fun that that's an easy way to do it. Just make it public and have people be able to add in as they see fit. That's so brilliant. Mara, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Make it easy. I like that.

Mara [: 00:22:12

Make it easy. The other idea I had a couple here. The other idea I talked a little bit about this, but outsourcing. Right? So, outsourcing doesn't have to be hiring somebody. Right? Doesn't have to be hiring the party planner or, you know, a chef to make something. So, we're saying can just be asking friends and family. So, don't be afraid of hosting a potluck or asking somebody to just, could you just bring an appetizer? Like, that would be super helpful.

Mara [: 00:22:38

And outsourcing also is asking people in your house who live with you, like, I have, you know, kids and a husband. So, when you're hosting, it doesn't just have to be you getting the house ready and getting everything ready. So, make sure you ask for help because it can be a big job. And nobody wants to feel frazzled and feel drained when guests, like ring that doorbell. Right? So, that's a way that you can kind of protect your energy, focus on what matters, and, you know, outsource what you can. It’s okay to do that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:23:10

Yes. We've had the tradition with the kid that gets assigned to take drink orders every Thanksgiving or Christmas at our house, there was always a kid that's assigned to take drink orders and be in charge of drink orders. So, give the kids jobs. Find jobs that are most appropriate.

Mara [: 00:23:23

You know, my kids always help to set the table. So, that was something oh, here's another tip. Setting the table, the night before. That is going to save you. The day of, there's, like, enough to do. And I don't care what the party is, whether it's, like, Christmas or your birthday or whatever.

Mara [: 00:23:37

You're always running out of time and you haven't been here yet and guests are going to be here. So, setting the table the night before does a couple of things. Highlights really quickly, like, what you're missing. You're like, oh, crap. I don't have enough wine glasses or, right? I don't have enough cutlery. But having the kids help with that, they feel like they contributed. And then they're like, it’s kind of like a source of like pride, like they set the table, right, for everybody. So, and it's one less thing you have to do.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:24:04

Yes. Yeah. The skills to have in life too, I think.

Mara [: 00:24:07

Yeah. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:24:09

I like it. I like it. Yes. Do you have something else for us? I like these tips.

Mara [: 00:24:14

Oh, setting up your bar area or your appetizer area away from where you have everything else set up. So, I don't like to put the bar and the food, like, kind of in the same area because what happens is people tend to, like, just hang out there. And then you can't get around. I don't know about you, but I feel like the kitchen island, everybody I talked to, like, kitchen island or the kitchen table. Like, everybody tends to hang out there, but if that's where you put all the food and drink, of course, that's where they're going to hang out.

Mara [: 00:24:45

And people become kind of cemented in their spots instead of, like, mingling with other people. So, one of the tricks is just to kind of, like, kind of sprinkle stuff throughout and keep it separate so that forces people to get up. Move. Plus, it also helps, sometimes you get cornered by somebody at a party and it gives you an opportunity to be like, I'm just going to go refresh my drink. Like, I'll be back.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:11

Yeah. This way. This way. Yeah. Keep on moving that way. Yes. Yes. Lay the traffic. Have different lanes. Yes. Those are good tips to have. And so, you have your YouTube channel and your blog and your Instagram.

Mara [: 00:25:28

Mm-hmm.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:29

Do you do stuff on your YouTube channel and your Instagram that are similar, or do you usually do different material on those things?

Mara [: 00:25:35

There's usually different stuff.

Shawna Rodrigue [: 00:25:37

Nice.

Mara [: 00:25:38

YouTube, because it's, like, longer form, I get to, like, do a little bit more. Instagram will be kind of your quick tips or just the recipe whereas YouTube, you can get a little bit more into it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:51

Nice. And then you also, you've launched a course.

Mara [: 00:25:55

Yeah. By the end of the course, the idea was I wanted to help people let go of perfection, kick that party planning overwhelm out the door, and instead become more confident in their hosting. Because when they're more confident, they will have more people over which lends to like more joy and spreading the love and that kind of thing. So, we talk about everything from understanding your own personal hosting style to practical tips, timelines, guides, checklists. We get all of it. So, I have a couple people because Christmas is coming up. Right? So, they are hosting, so they want to just, like, make their lives easier so they join.

Mara [: 00:26:33

But then I also have people who are just new to hosting, right? Like, their first place, their first home, this is not something that maybe their parents did. And you're not really at this anywhere, but you want to do it. So where do I learn this all-in-one spot instead of having to kind of piecemeal and watching videos like here and there. It's all like in one for you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:26:52

Oh, nice. That's nice. That's a great gift for somebody who've got their first home or whatever else. That's a great idea for a cab. That's perfect. That is good. I don't know why I didn't think of that. That is a good idea. Yeah. Yes. People need those skills. And for people that doesn't come naturally, that's definitely something to have those tips and tricks to not be overwhelmed. So, it's actually a wonderful experience. They want to do it again. Because they actually got to enjoy it. Very important. Very important. That's wonderful. We're back to entertaining. We're back to entertaining.

Mara [: 00:27:25

Yes. We are.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:27

And for people who just want to be back to entertaining and, like, wait, I haven't done this. Do I do this again? Yeah. You can take a course.

Mara [: 00:27:33

Yeah. Exactly.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:35

Get you back ready for it. That's wonderful.

Mara [: 00:27:37

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:38

This has been so great. I think it's been helpful for people to get them back at it. I think that following you on Instagram is also going to be exciting, especially for that Gatsby party. I can't wait for pictures on that.

Mara [: 00:27:47

Yeah. Me neither. I'm already, like, sourcing some stuff for it. Oh, I can't wait.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:52

That's so awesome. And I need to ask you this because I was wondering this with somebody recently. So, I am intrigued by the fact that Thanksgiving is in October in Canada and late November in the US and it actually makes more sense to me that it's in October in Canada because that's more aligned with the harvest. So, and, again, like, in the US, like, we're told a story that it connects kind of with a dinner that happened, and there's very mixed things in the US around Thanksgiving and our relationship with indigenous peoples and having that. But I'm serious, like, so is it kind of related back to a specific origin? Do you know? Like, does it come from a specific meal or origin in Canada? Or is it just a general gratitude for harvest and what are the origins in Canada? Do you know?

Mara [: 00:28:42

Yeah. I don't know, but I do know, like, I've, at least this is what I've heard the whole time growing up, that ours is in October because in Canada, because of the temperature, our harvest went earlier than it was in the US. So as far as I know, like, that's kind of the story that I've been told. Yeah. I don't know any more than that. And then I like it in October. I don't know. I feel like in November, and maybe you can tell me, like, does it feel rushed going from, like, Thanksgiving then into Christmas? Right?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:29:11

Oh, yeah. 100%. It's like a landslide. Like, you do a landslide right into Christmas. And it's funny because it's not related to our like, we have harvest festival in September and October. Like, our holiday festivals are so unattached to Thanksgiving. And then, at least, my grade school memories of why Thanksgiving is in November was because it was more related to not having food and the dinners that were then given with indigenous peoples and that connection was more why it was in November because it was related to the cold setting in and not having resources and coming together with resources, and that was kind of the reasoning behind it being in November.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:29:54

Was kind of the reasoning behind it was those original dinners and coming together, and so that was why it was in November. But it is something that's, even in college, I remember, like, we had Thanksgiving, and then 2 weeks later, got out for, you know, Christmas break. As it was, like, always, like, just a weird timing of when we had it. So, I can't imagine it differently because now I've done this my entire life. But October's, oh, as soon as I learned, I think I was in my twenties when I learned it was in October in Canada. I'm like, that makes sense. And is it as that day or is it I feel like October 10th or 12th or somewhere in that range.

Mara [: 00:30:27

Yeah. It's usually oh, see. I'm going to probably get this wrong. 2nd Monday of October. 2nd or 3rd. It's something like that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:30:35

I thought it’s like, it was like, yeah. Yeah. I thought it was, yeah. That's what I thought. It was like, actually, at the beginning of the week, and ours is on a Thursday. Yeah. Yeah.

Mara [: 00:30:44

No. October I mean, October. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Out of all the holidays, I have loved Thanksgiving because I feel like it's the same family tradition, connection that you get at Christmas, like that coziness without the pressure of Christmas and gifts and like, all that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:31:04

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I completely agree with you. I also love 4th July and fireworks, and I also have all the stuff for Halloween. So, I get and I love New Year's because I just love celebrating their fireworks then, like, you know, dancing the night away. So, I like an equal opportunity. It might be any holiday. I love them all.

:: 31:22

I do. I love them all, but I have to say Thanksgiving is my favorite. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:31:27

Yes. I think if I pulled when I was younger, I think Thanksgiving would be the one that I would have named. It's my favorite one also. And then I spent enough of them away from home with other families, and I also enjoyed that, but it had less of that, like, connection as I got older too. But, yeah, that used to be when I was younger. That was always favorite one. And I used to love lemon meringue pie, and that was the only time where I got out.

Mara [: 00:31:46

Really?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:31:46

Yes.

Mara [: 00:31:47

Lemon meringue pie for Thanksgiving? That's interesting.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:31:49

Isn't that funny? And it was funny with my family. So, my family is we have a big, I had 4 siblings, and so there were 6 of us in our family. And we didn't have biological family that's close to us, and there was this family in the church that I grew up in that invited us to their house every year to which I'm still incredibly thankful because I cannot imagine. A lot of people don't fight for additional children to eat their home for Thanksgiving from another family. So, they get props to this day for doing that. But the woman who had it at her house, her favorite pie was lemon meringue, and so they always had a lemon meringue pie. That's probably the only reason and I hated pumpkin pie. Hated pumpkin pie.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:32:25

Still hate pumpkin pie. And I would get to have the lemon meringue pie, and that's the only time they ever had lemon meringue pie I don't often, I don't even make it now and have it. I have another lemon pie that's way better than I make now because I have, you know, different taste now as I'm older. But as a kid, like, that was the pie and the only time I got it, and it was so amazing. We went to their house, and they had this big table. We played games, and it was, like, the one-time our family was invited to the open house because we're a big family. We didn't often get invited to parties that other people have it. So, and we didn't have family that was close by that we went to their house, so it was a big deal that we got to go Thanksgiving at their house, I think.

Mara [: 00:32:58

That's funny. Yeah. Because my family is Italian. Like, Thanksgiving and Christmas involve lasagna. So, everyone's like, you have lasagna? Like, my husband's not Italian, so he's like, wait. What's happening here? Why are we having lasagna? Like, because that's, like, the 1st course. And then he will do, like, the turkey and ham and all that stuff, but we have lasagna.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:33:21

So, I went home for Christmas when you ride day to somebody, and that's why it's been it was all, like, Italian food, and I'm like, where's the other stuff? You watch mass on TV at midnight? Okay. This is different. I reckon, yeah. And then everyone doesn't wake up for gifts, everyone sleeps in, and they stayed up like, what? It's so fun, though, to spend it with different people and the different traditions that come with holidays is so interesting.

Mara [: 00:33:48

I love that. I love hearing how other people celebrate and what are their traditions. Like, I think that's really cool thing.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:33:55

Part of the button. Yes. We can talk about this all day, though. I know. I know. Yeah. So, let's get to the self-care part. So, what do you do for self-care, Mara? What do you do to take care of yourself and bring joy into your life?

Mara [: 00:34:07

Okay. I am getting back into journaling. So, I feel like journaling for me is a really good way to, like, spend time with me. And I am a big fan of taking bath. So, yeah. I feel like when I'm in the bath, that's just so relaxing and I feel like lots of ideas come in there. I don't know if it's like because of the water or like because you're relaxed. So, bath and journaling and then spending time with good girlfriends, right, where you can just, like, laugh your heads off and be silly and that kind of stuff.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:34:40

Yes. Especially, we kind of got out of the habit of that. So, it's good to get back in the habit of that. So, that's important. Yes. Yeah. Yep. Up your bath game with candles. Bath is just, like, a whole different, my current bath setup in my current place that the house we're in doesn't have, like, a place for my candle, but I miss my bath candles. Yeah. All the difference. I actually had like, in one of my places, I actually had sconces in the bathtub, so I get sconces with candles. Nice. That's a difference. But, yes, bath. That's a good one. Bath. Yeah. Good stuff. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:35:11

So, for all of our guests, we actually offer you a coloring book because at The Grit Show, we have the Color of Grit is our series of coloring books, and so we offer our guests as a thank you for coming to share your wonderful knowledge with us. We offer you, either, we have 2 of them out now. We have The Vintage Mermaid and Magnificent Ocean, and we have You've Got This, which is inspirational quotes. So, which one can I send you a copy of?

Mara [: 00:35:37

Oh, I like the idea of the vintage mermaid. Let's do that. We're just talking about the bath. Like, let's do vintage mermaid.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:35:43

We got the ocean. We got the water. Great. Awesome. So, because you're in Canada, I get to send you a digital copy, but I will send you a copy of that.

Mara [: 00:35:51

Okay. Perfect.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:35:53

And that way, you can even print it and share.

Mara [: 00:35:55

Yes. Thank you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:35:57

I'm going to share that with you. You were very welcome. I'm excited to hear what you think of it. Add that to your self-care routine because that’s how we do self-care here at The Grit Show. Sounds good stuff. But so, what do we think that we should tell people to walk away? I think the concept to walk away with is this concept of, tell me your slogan because your slogan says it perfectly.

Mara [: 00:36:15

Less perfection, more connection.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:36:17

I love it. Less perfection, more connection. So, as you're going through this holiday season and having people over for Hanukkah, having people over just for dinner, having people over for brunch, having them over for Christmas, whatever it might be, New Year's, etcetera. That's your goal. Less perfection, more connection. That's your goal. And some simple ways for you to think about doing that. I think the outsourcing, I think, is the biggest thing whether that's,

Mara [: 00:36:40

outsource. Yeah. Like, the kids. Family, friends. And I would include, like, in my to do list, I always include some self-care for me. So, even if you're just carving it, just write down that you're going to like shower and do your hair or whatever. Make time for it because, like I've said before, we've all fallen victim to like, oh my god. I’m still doing my makeup and people are at the door, and I'm not ready. Right?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:37:05

Yes. Actually, not done my hair and makeup around writing, and people at the door are like, oh, wow. We'll go with connection and not perfection on me, but I'm less happy in the pictures that I didn't get ready. So, prioritize you. So, outsource so that you can take care of you, put somebody else in charge of this during and answering the door so you can get ready or get ready first. And you left stuff because people aren't going to care that the deviled eggs aren't, like, squeezed and perfect shaped. You know, like, just scoop them in there and get the shower, like, you know?

Mara [: 00:37:41

Right. Corner, like, candles and, like, do that after.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:37:44

Exactly. Exactly. That corner where you need to so that you can actually enjoy doing that. Yes. Yeah. Yes. And I love that idea too of, like, realizing that you don't have to make it all do it all, like, people give yourself a break. May not remember what you made or didn't make anyway.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:01

So, yes. Yes. If it's important, I love to make things. So, usually, like, I will make the dessert from scratch because I love making desserts. So, I'll make a dessert from scratch, and that will be my thing that I make from scratch. And then everything else, I might do Costco instead of, I might go to Costco and just grab something easy.

Mara [: 00:38:24

Grab a bag of salad that's, like, already done. Right? Some nuts and throw some craisins in it and, like, ta-da. There's, like, your salad. Like, just make it easy.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:33

Make it easy. Make it easy. Yeah. They used to be like this Hawaiian chicken that I would just buy. It would have the sauce and just heat it up and be over or the pulled pork and add barbecue and just cut that in half, and there's your sandwich over the outside, yeah, potluck stuff. Yes. Make it easy. And, yes, potluck, potluck, especially if you're hosting Christmas dinner or a Hanukkah dinner and other dinner, you tell people what to bring and have them bring it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:58

They can stop at the local restaurant and get it up if they aren't. There's no getting up. There are too many times I hear that, like, you know, oh, well, that person is a cook. Great. Right. Because you can give them the recommendation so they can stop and pick something up because that can still happen. They can get the bread. They can get the salad that's already premade.

Mara [: 00:39:18

Pick up some cupcakes. Go to the bakery, get that some cupcakes or some cookies or something.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:39:22

Yeah. They can still contribute. So that still works. I like that. I like that plan. Excellent. That's wonderful. And where, so, let's tell people the website. Is it best way to reach you on website and Instagram and then probably your YouTube channels too?

Mara [: 00:39:36

Yeah. So, I would say, so, the website is joyfulhostess.com. And Instagram, same handle, JoyfulHostess. So, we can chat there on Instagram. Like, that's kind of, like, more social. That's, like, where we connected to.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:39:48

That is where we connected. You guys you need on Instagram; she has the best picture of her casino pineapple. I love it. It's so cute. And, like, with the hospitality and is that because I know that's, like, in the south that the hospitality is the pineapple. Is that the same thing in Canada?

Mara [: 00:40:02

Yep. Yep. It's a symbol of hospitality. Yeah. We just put it in our logo.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:40:07

I love it. Like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Mara [: 00:40:09

And then YouTube has longer form videos is a little bit more, like, instructional and, yeah, it's just got more info. Right? Like, Instagram's hard to, like, kind of, get all the information in there. So, there's definitely more on YouTube, and there's different stuff on YouTube than there is on Instagram.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:40:25

Awesome. So, follow her on Instagram so you'll be reminded, and then go check out her website and I’d get that information so that you guys can kind of get some inspiration. And then that class too, I think that's great. And even if you have somebody who just moved into their house, then good gift. Good housewarming gift. I think that's a great idea, though. This has been fun.

Mara [: 00:40:44

It's been fun. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:40:50

A great topic for us as we enter the holidays, we'll have a little bit of joy to add that and a little less perfection, a little more connection with our hostess team. It's a great thing. Thank you.

Mara [: 00:40:58

Thank you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 41:01

Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Be sure to jump on over to Instagram and follow us at The.Grit.Show. And if you aren't already following Authentic Connections Podcast Network at 37by27, you should definitely be doing that as well. Don't forget. You are the only one of you that this world has got, and that means something. I'll be here next Tuesday. I hope you are too.