Emotions as Indicators -40

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Emotions are absorbed in the body in about six seconds.

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Each burst of emotion, from the time it's produced in the

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hypothalamus, the time it's completely broken down, and fully absorbed.

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Only last six seconds.

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This may sound a little bit absurd.

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Because you think of emotions and feelings as interchangeable.

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And honestly so do I.

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I'm not even sure who decided which thing was, which.

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But I will tell you the one reason I love words.

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It's because of how powerful it can be when you truly capture

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the meaning of something.

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And that's why there's a difference between emotions and feelings.

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We're only going to touch a little bit on the difference between

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emotions and feelings today.

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They're part of a larger conversation around emotions as indicators.

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About the fact they are messengers from ourselves to ourselves.

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And how that often gets sidetracked.

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Into our thinking they're about someone else or something else.

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Well, I don't know about you, but that's what happens with me an awful lot.

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So hopefully you'll connect to that a little bit too.

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Welcome to The Grit Show.

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Growth on purpose.

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I'm grateful you're here.

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We are a community of scrappers.

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Who've had the opportunity to demonstrate our Grit.

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And now we are growing together as seekers and Thrivers.

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Learning a little each week that brings more joy and ease into our life.

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And knowing that there's more to life than just the grit show.

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I'm your host, shawna Rodrigues.

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After a career as a clinician and leading organizations.

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I transitioned to consulting and fulfilled my goal of becoming

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a best-selling author in 2021.

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Before finding my way to podcasting and the perfect fit for my passion and skills.

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Which was the founding of the authentic connections podcast network.

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It connects my love of talking and connecting.

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While also amplifying voices as we move the needle closer to 37 by

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27 increasing by 10% the number of podcasts hosted by women by 2027.

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Because really shouldn't it be closer to 50%?

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As part of this I'm offering for the first time, a four-part

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intro series to podcasting.

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From dreaming to doing.

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It's a wonderful foundation course for those of you interested.

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Go to bit.ly/podcastd2d dreaming to doing, and you can sign up.

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I'll talk a little more about it in detail at the end.

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For now let's chat more about emotions as indicators.

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At times I had to find it almost comical.

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That even though I have this clinical degree, and a clinical license.

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I still feel as though I'm at a loss when it comes to understanding

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emotions and how they work.

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You think it would be at the base of everything?

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And it is, but it's the part that you kind of ignore and that I feel

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like I didn't learn enough about.

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As I mentioned in my intro, my former career, I was a clinician.

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An LCSW to be specific, a licensed clinical social worker.

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My specialty was actually working with young children.

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I loved working with kids.

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And I think intentionally avoided working specifically with adults.

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Even though anyone who works with kids will tell you that you're working with

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their parents, their classroom teachers.

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Or adults in their life, as much as you are working with them.

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But it's always easier to have the focus be on kids.

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The solutions were easier.

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The compassion would easily flow.

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I seemed to have understanding, more patience, it always came easier for me.

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And also helps with boundaries.

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I'm someone who's always believed.

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Boundaries are very important.

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And we'll actually talk more about that in later episodes of the season, where we

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dive into conversations around burnout.

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But it was always easy.

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When I was dating.

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Or out with a friend or any other time when someone bristled

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at me being a therapist.

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To just brush it off.

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I only worked with folks under the age of five.

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So I was never psychoanalyzing you.

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That was never part of the conversation.

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I was a friend you'd vote most likely to tell you to go see a therapist or

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that you might want to get a therapist.

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But I was never the friend trying to be your therapist.

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And once you told me your diagnosis, there was a chance it might take me a

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few minutes of hmming and hawing before I could actually see it totally fit to.

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Sometimes there's a bit of a veil between my work and my life in that way.

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I like to think that my background, all the training that I took and the

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classes I had and the knowledge I had.

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Added to the depth of conversations I had with others.

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And my way of thinking sometimes.

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But, it's interesting to me, how little I applied to my personal life what

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I've learned as a therapist sometimes.

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And I don't apply it to everyone else in my life.

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It's one of those things that I've learned.

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You've heard about, you know, physician heal thyself is not that possible.

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It also applies to clinicians, or maybe very specifically with me.

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It's hard to say.

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There's also a chance that there's this moment when I was in college

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studying social work for the first time and taking these courses.

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When I went to dinner with my dad.

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When I was visiting and he actually asked me, so now that

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you're taking these classes, what do you think about our family?

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And I spun backwards and it was quick to say, I don't know.

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I will never know.

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Never ask me that again.

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Uh, so part of me never wanted to apply it.

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It was always about other people and other things.

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So maybe that's why applying what I've learned about emotions

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doesn't easily cross apply.

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Or maybe it's a matter that I didn't learn as much about emotions as

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I wanted to, or thought I could.

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I was poking around at the research in preparation for this episode.

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As some of the articles I read made me feel better that maybe.

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It wasn't as deep as a topic as it could have been, should have been.

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Or I would have liked it to have been.

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And it was something that was brushed over as I learned more

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about Pavlov conditioning and.

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The way you just did things instead of understanding why things happened, the

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way things happened and how it connects.

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And the emotions weren't as well understood.

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And are still being understood.

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That's what I like to think anyways.

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There's a recent episode that I heard on a podcast because I happen to

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like those in case you didn't know.

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But it was in the last two episodes of Unlocking Us with Brene Brown.

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I was listening to for a whole different reason.

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And I really brought home some concepts for me around emotions.

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And the impact they have and their purpose.

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And that wasn't the intent of the episode.

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It is an amazing episode though.

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It was really around living big and some other bigger pieces around.

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Whether or not people are doing the best they can, which I love it.

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And that entire episode, and I could not possibly explain it as

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well as they do or recapture it and convey it in a way that they do.

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So you should go listen to that.

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The last two episodes of Unlocking Us with Brene Brown and her sister.

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It's very good.

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But we will talk a little bit about that concept around- if

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others are doing the best they can.

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And one of the things that they posit or bring up.

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Is this concept that when.

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We are in this place of judging others when we don't think others

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are doing the best they can.

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And we're in this place of really passing judgment on the performance

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of others and what they're doing;

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the part of that is us being in a place of judgment and that perhaps

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we're also judging ourselves.

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And this is an interesting concept.

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There was so many concepts I got from that episode, but that was one that I was

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sitting with and spending some time with.

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And it really had me thinking about it because.

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There are people who I think are doing the best they can.

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And at the time I could probably name them off.

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And I got the concept of why you should apply that to all people.

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But I recognize that it wasn't always something I did.

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And it made me curious about when I do or don't apply it.

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And I had a really great conversation with a dear friend of mine that helped me to

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kind of take that to a different level.

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And it is about the unfinished fence at my house.

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I was on the phone with my good friend and I was talking about.

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The unfinished fence.

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And as I was talking about it, she was kind of laughing because I was

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referring to the love of my life and his desire to have this fence.

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And me knowing his desire for this fence was because we moved

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back to this house that we own.

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When the pandemic was winding down, but the pandemic, still wasn't resolved.

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And there was a lot of.

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The neighborhood or we had that house had shifted and changed and there was

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a lot of activity that was questionable and things that had happened and it.

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It just wasn't the same safe neighborhood it had been.

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And he was concerned about how exposed the front of our house was.

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And.

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At one time when we were first dating I was chatting it up

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with somebody on my porch.

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Cause I thought they were coming to do something with one of our tenants that.

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And they weren't and they'd actually cut open a box on our our

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porch and we're breaking into it.

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And I was chatting away with them after they taped it up.

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No clue that they were somebody that was.

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It's tele things through our porch and just being friendly.

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And so he's had concerned about my my openness and the way that

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the neighborhood had changed, as we talked about putting in

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a fence and we'd worked on it.

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And then the neighborhood got better and the fence hadn't been finished.

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And so it's this.

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Thing that needs.

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I've finished this fence.

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And he doesn't have bandwidth for it.

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And I liked the project.

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And so it really is my project to finish.

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But it's not a needed project.

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Because our neighborhood has gotten better and I like having

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the exposure to the street and the people that walk by and chat with us.

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So, it's this weird thing this fence.

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And so as I'm talking to my girlfriend about this fence

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that needs to be finished.

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I'm still talking about, love of my life, the one of the fence,

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then I need to finish the fence.

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And she's laughing because of how I talk about him and this fence.

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And she would just be not referring to her partner the same way.

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There was an unfinished fence that they wanted that.

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That she would be having to finish and, and all those pieces.

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And it.

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It was a perfect example of.

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Of me knowing that.

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He doesn't like outdoor projects like that.

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He doesn't like those projects.

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They stress them out.

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There's other things he'd rather be doing.

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I honestly love doing that.

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Part of me.

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Savoring my time is projects like that.

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I love home projects and me just knowing that and knowing that.

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He's also patient with the fact I haven't finished that project, even

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though he really wanted it done.

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And so there's no.

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There's new negativity, like with any of that conversing as we're talking about it.

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So she was noting that.

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And talking about how interesting it was that I could, you know, be so fine

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with it and she'd be so different.

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And, and it kind of went back to our conversation around that concept

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o f doing the best you can and.

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And him knowing I was doing the best to me, knowing that he was doing

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his best with it and how it rolled.

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But then very soon thereafter, there was a work-related project

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where somebody I was working with.

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I did not feel like they were doing the best they could.

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And I was having a very strong reaction to the way they were handling things.

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And as part of that, I was noticing the strength of my reaction to that.

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And it was a good opportunity for me to do some reflection.

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And it went back to that reflection that Brene and her sister were having

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on the podcast around where you stand in judgment of yourself on things.

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And when it comes to the house projects, like I don't judge him doing things or

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not doing things because I don't judge myself doing things or not doing things

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because I am doing the best I can with balancing my work and my other pieces

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and getting the house projects done.

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So I don't judge him on those things.

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But when it comes to my work, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

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I'm feeling behind I'm having all sorts of other feelings.

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And so I'm very quick to judge things when it comes to work and those

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things, because I'm feeling overworked.

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I'm feeling exhausted.

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I'm feeling like.

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I'm not doing the best I can.

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I'm not setting good boundaries.

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I'm not taking care of myself.

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I'm not figuring things out and making them sustainable for me.

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And so I'm very quick to judge somebody else.

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And so.

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As much as like this concept is so helpful for me to stop and recognize,

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like where I can apply someone's doing the best they can is an area where I

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feel good that I'm doing the best I can.

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And that reallyin these places where I'm judging other people are the

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places I need to do more self work.

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And need to stop judging myself so much and figure out what's going on with me.

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And that really brought me back to the concept that our emotions are indicators.

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And I can't.

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I can't tell you the book that I heard it, and I don't even think

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I got a book from a library.

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And I don't think I even finished it before I had to go back

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because that happens with me.

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I love the library as a resource, but I don't always have time to finish

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things before I need to return them.

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And I remember reading about that concept and it was so

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powerful to me, this concept.

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Of emotions as indicators.

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And the fact that.

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With this work situation when I was having such a strong reaction

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and a flicker anger when someone wasn't getting things done or wasn't

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understanding what I was asking of them.

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What was that emotion about?

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Like, what was that connected to?

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Because I think the way I was raised.

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Not even negatively against anyone who raised me.

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I just think the way we're raised that.

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We're supposed to be like sensing other people's emotions and reacting and to

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being careful how we impact others.

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And I'm someone who's very aware of how I impact others and very aware

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that I can soften or do things to make things better for other people

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and I do that a lot with adjusting.

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How I am in space, especially when I was younger.

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And that we can do that.

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And so there's this flip side of that is also that others should

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then adjust or not adjust for me.

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And I can get frustrated when they do or don't because I'm

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adjusting for them, right?

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So there's this piece to that.

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Whereas really that whole situation, like I got frustrated with someone

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else not understanding or figuring things out or taking care of

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things or getting things done.

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What did that mean for me?

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What was that indicator for me that anger for me?

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And honestly, I think that anger for me was that

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I had not committed to a larger role in a project.

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Because of the fact I knew my limitations and even knowing those

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limitations and not committing to a larger role, I'm still over committed

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and doing too much right now and hiring staff so that I can be doing less.

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But still not doing GOBA, dry my boundaries and having more free time.

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Right.

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So I'm still not in alignment.

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Alignment.

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What do you think there's a bottom line.

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If you're not in alignment with what your core values are?

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So my core value.

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Value is.

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Free time and having time with people that I care about and not

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being overburdened with work and not having to work creep into.

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The main thing that I'm overly focused on.

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Cause it's done that before my life.

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And so.

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That's what I was angry about.

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That's what I was upset about it.

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It wasn't necessarily this other person not being good at what

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they do and not getting things done and not doing things right.

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And taking it more of my time to have to clean up the mess.

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it was just in general.

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I was putting too much time into work.

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And this little flicker of anger that came up was a reminder of that.

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So that message was for me, it wasn't for them.

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It wasn't something I needed to react and project and make a big

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deal and get frustrated with them.

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There was some level of boundaries that may be.

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You know, I can be more careful about who I work with in the future, et cetera.

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That's part of it, but really.

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It was about me not being in alignment with how much I was working.

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And doing even more so than just on that one project.

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That just in general, I was not giving myself enough space.

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And I was letting work take over too much of my time and too much of my efforts.

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So it was really a message for me.

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So my emotion was an indicator that I needed to pay attention to.

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And I think that too often in our lives we've been told that our

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emotions, our responses to situations are about the other people and

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what other people should be doing.

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And sometimes directing other people to do things differently

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instead of stopping and pausing and seeing what's going on with us.

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And that could be as simple slash complicated as when we're in a situation

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where the kids are being too loud and too noisy and making too big of

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a mess and doing all type of things.

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And there's just too much chaos going on.

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And that could be a moment to see like, well, what's out of alignment for me.

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Like, do I need a quieter space?

Shawna: 00:17:24

Am I just overwhelmed and I'm not giving myself enough care and self-maintenance

Shawna: 00:17:29

and taking care of me enough that I feel like this is taking too much out of me

Shawna: 00:17:33

to be managing the situation right now.

Shawna: 00:17:35

What do I need to do for, for boundaries or for care for me in this situation?

Shawna: 00:17:39

Relation instead of needing to control the volume because it's the volume

Shawna: 00:17:43

actually the problem in this situation, or is there something else with me?

Shawna: 00:17:47

That's this is activating or hitting on that i need to pay attention

Shawna: 00:17:51

to and i need to listen to.

Shawna: 00:17:53

So we can still, i mean obviously with kids like we're raising kids

Shawna: 00:17:56

we're teaching kids We're helping them to learn to see things, but

Shawna: 00:18:00

i'm sure we know that sometimes we react differently to situations.

Shawna: 00:18:04

And If we're reacting and our best selves and the way we want to react

Shawna: 00:18:09

to the situation We're doing great.

Shawna: 00:18:11

But if we notice we're not reacting the best way we're reacting to an

Shawna: 00:18:15

emotion that we're having there were then turn it into a feeling.

Shawna: 00:18:18

So that's the difference between emotions and feelings.

Shawna: 00:18:21

An emotion like i noted last like six seconds it is actually a chemical reaction

Shawna: 00:18:26

that needs to process in your body.

Shawna: 00:18:28

But there's like another level to it.

Shawna: 00:18:30

The feelings is what happens when you make meaning of it.

Shawna: 00:18:35

When you add a story to it.

Shawna: 00:18:37

When you put more to it and that's when it lasts longer and it stays longer.

Shawna: 00:18:43

And so that's that's something that that you're adding to it that's the thinking

Shawna: 00:18:48

part of it that brain adding part of it.

Shawna: 00:18:51

And so it's neutral our emotions are neutral they're just chemical reactions

Shawna: 00:18:55

in our body and our brain That we need to work through and we need to experience and

Shawna: 00:19:00

We do experience but when it becomes more than that it's because we're adding things

Shawna: 00:19:04

to it and so what we add to it The meaning we make of it And what we do with that Is

Shawna: 00:19:11

up to us and how we interpret that data.

Shawna: 00:19:13

And so looking at that data slightly differently to go back

Shawna: 00:19:17

to like touching the hot stove.

Shawna: 00:19:19

You know it's just the sensation of pain that tells you to put your hand back

Shawna: 00:19:23

And then you might start adding that other information to it of it reminds

Shawna: 00:19:27

you of a different circumstance us when that happened when you touch something

Shawna: 00:19:31

that was hot and then it hurt really bad and then you think of that and then you

Shawna: 00:19:34

start remembering that and you get upset about that and then It lasts longer and

Shawna: 00:19:38

so those little messages are just six seconds of information That your brain

Shawna: 00:19:43

is giving your body and then what happens to that is The more interesting thing.

Shawna: 00:19:48

And so I think we can go back to our episode with Will Halpin on internal

Shawna: 00:19:53

family systems When you talked about getting curious not furious when we

Shawna: 00:19:58

have thoughts and we have Our stories that our brains are adding to things.

Shawna: 00:20:03

And to maybe start Looking at more of our feelings To after we have that

Shawna: 00:20:09

initial emotion to have that piece.

Shawna: 00:20:12

And to start maybe looking at our emotions as signals and messages

Shawna: 00:20:17

that are for us us and only us.

Shawna: 00:20:20

To see what that means to us And to maybe look at that lens i'm talking

Shawna: 00:20:26

about around that alignment, right?

Shawna: 00:20:28

Why is this Emotion So heavy for me?

Shawna: 00:20:33

Why is this a strong for me?

Shawna: 00:20:34

What is out of alignment That this is kind of tripping on?

Shawna: 00:20:39

For me?

Shawna: 00:20:40

That I can fix and i can change?

Shawna: 00:20:42

So if I'm meeting somebody and they're not showing up and they're late- the emotion

Shawna: 00:20:50

i might have with that is a little flicker of frustration that's information for me.

Shawna: 00:20:57

That's not information for them.

Shawna: 00:20:59

Maybe for me Time is really valuable And maybe i'm not valuing my own time that

Shawna: 00:21:08

i'm not putting myself first enough and putting time into the things that i want

Shawna: 00:21:13

to spend more time on that are important.

Shawna: 00:21:15

Another time that friend same friend is late and it doesn't bother me because

Shawna: 00:21:18

i am Valuing my time And i am doing the things that i want the rest of the time

Shawna: 00:21:24

Or maybe i didn't want to have this dinner tonight but I did it because i tend to try

Shawna: 00:21:30

to please other people and do what other people want instead of pleasing myself.

Shawna: 00:21:34

So maybe that message is for me that i need to do more to please myself

Shawna: 00:21:38

instead of trying to please other people.

Shawna: 00:21:40

So the message is for me it's not for the other person It's for me

Shawna: 00:21:43

about what i need to do for me to have me feel more in alignment.

Shawna: 00:21:48

And if somebody hasn't called and talked to me and i haven't conversed

Shawna: 00:21:51

with them And i have a sadness with that With the messages what do i

Shawna: 00:21:56

need to do I need more connection.

Shawna: 00:21:58

So i want more connection with this person then i can make moves to have

Shawna: 00:22:01

that connection or maybe I need more connection and i should look for

Shawna: 00:22:06

volunteer opportunities or start doing other activities i enjoy and find other

Shawna: 00:22:11

people who share interests that might be more available to spend time with

Shawna: 00:22:15

me that i can have connection with.

Shawna: 00:22:17

So those emotions we have they're important and we need to pay

Shawna: 00:22:21

attention to them and honor them.

Shawna: 00:22:23

And see them as Indicators for us.

Shawna: 00:22:27

for us to make decisions about and for us to feel and to have them.

Shawna: 00:22:31

And If we have kids, Cause We've mentioned i used to work Solely primarily with kids.

Shawna: 00:22:38

So i connect a lot to that opportunity to be able to have that with kids.

Shawna: 00:22:43

We have a tendency to make kids apologize to each other.

Shawna: 00:22:46

To make them feel like somebody else made them cry et cetera et cetera But

Shawna: 00:22:51

to have that opportunity to, to not make them feel like they have to be

Shawna: 00:22:56

isolated with their emotions, but to see you're feeling this You're sad i can see

Shawna: 00:23:01

that You have some sadness right now.

Shawna: 00:23:03

What do you think that means?

Shawna: 00:23:04

What do you think you want?

Shawna: 00:23:06

And so it's about them and how they can solve it.

Shawna: 00:23:09

And they could solve it by approaching another person and trying to repair

Shawna: 00:23:12

a relationship and do those pieces that's wonderful, but that it doesn't

Shawna: 00:23:16

always require the other person.

Shawna: 00:23:19

It's not always the projection and the other person Didn't do these things.

Shawna: 00:23:23

They felt sad because they were left out.

Shawna: 00:23:25

They felt sad because of this.

Shawna: 00:23:27

And those are the feelings that they have because it's important for them To have

Shawna: 00:23:31

friendships and to have connections and to have friends that they can play with.

Shawna: 00:23:34

And important for them to find friends that like to play with

Shawna: 00:23:36

them And enjoy doing that.

Shawna: 00:23:38

Instead of constantly making the other kid the bad guy cause

Shawna: 00:23:41

they're not playing with them.

Shawna: 00:23:42

To make it important that they realize that they value friends

Shawna: 00:23:45

That liked to play with them that make them feel good when they play

Shawna: 00:23:49

together this say nice things to them.

Shawna: 00:23:51

Now They seek out those friendships and those people and they will find those

Shawna: 00:23:55

people And make those friendships.

Shawna: 00:23:58

Instead of continuing to go after for instance the kids

Shawna: 00:24:00

that don't do those things.

Shawna: 00:24:02

So for them to understand what they value and to reflect it back to them.

Shawna: 00:24:05

The fact you're sad makes me think that you really want to have

Shawna: 00:24:07

friends The say nice things to you.

Shawna: 00:24:10

Are there other friends that you'd like to play with it say nice things.

Shawna: 00:24:13

Who are some of those friends?

Shawna: 00:24:14

Can we find them and play with them?

Shawna: 00:24:16

And to have that kind of way of thinking of finding Those relationships and Using

Shawna: 00:24:22

our emotions as indicators about What we want And where we're in alignment.

Shawna: 00:24:28

And how we can use them to better ourselves and find what

Shawna: 00:24:30

we want and go in that direction.

Shawna: 00:24:33

Hopefully that kind of made sense and connected.

Shawna: 00:24:35

i'm just wrapping my head around it and getting Excited about looking

Shawna: 00:24:40

at My emotions in a different way.

Shawna: 00:24:42

And being excited about this whole concept about people doing the best

Shawna: 00:24:46

they can and how it's kind of Morphed and changed and grown with that.

Shawna: 00:24:51

I'm intrigued by what you might Get out of this as well and if you apply this.

Shawna: 00:24:55

So definitely Keep me posted about it but before we get into our Grit

Shawna: 00:25:00

Wit to kind of apply this more and our self-care spotlight for today,

Shawna: 00:25:04

I did want Can i touch on the fact that this is our first

Shawna: 00:25:07

episode of our second season.

Shawna: 00:25:09

We have finally made the leap to practice what i preach and

Shawna: 00:25:13

moved The Grit Show into seasons.

Shawna: 00:25:15

It's part of the concept around being More friendly to the longevity of podcasts to

Shawna: 00:25:20

actually have them broken up into seasons versus every week all the time nonstop

Shawna: 00:25:26

and that can get a little overwhelming.

Shawna: 00:25:28

So to make things kind of flow differently and to break them up into seasons.

Shawna: 00:25:32

So while the numbers and the episodes will keep rolling

Shawna: 00:25:34

forward so this is episode 40.

Shawna: 00:25:37

It season two episode 40.

Shawna: 00:25:39

We'll still be easy to find with the 40 and to track things that way.

Shawna: 00:25:43

This well, allow for Breaks occasionally and for themes to emerge a little

Shawna: 00:25:46

bit as Which will be exciting.

Shawna: 00:25:48

During this second season we are going to do a deeper dive into

Shawna: 00:25:51

burnout over a couple of episodes.

Shawna: 00:25:54

And more than one way i have a wonderful friend And Who is also um

Shawna: 00:25:59

clinically trained in social work who's going to come on and speak with

Shawna: 00:26:02

me a little bit about that Which is exciting And i have another expert.

Shawna: 00:26:05

expert who i'm talking to that we're also going to come

Shawna: 00:26:08

and talk a little more About.

Shawna: 00:26:09

Burnout amongst Some other things so i'm excited So we'll have a little

Shawna: 00:26:12

bit more focused on burnout I think that's a very important topic That

Shawna: 00:26:16

a lot of you have mentioned as something that people are experiencing.

Shawna: 00:26:20

We'll also be spending some time looking at the differences

Shawna: 00:26:23

between coaching and therapy.

Shawna: 00:26:24

i'm looking at some different types of coaching and therapy as part of that.

Shawna: 00:26:28

You guys have shown some interest in that and understanding that more and

Shawna: 00:26:30

i definitely want to meet that need and give you guys some Some depth and

Shawna: 00:26:34

breadth and understands now a little bit.

Shawna: 00:26:37

We'll also continue to have our usual format and have some conversations

Shawna: 00:26:41

on different topics you've all expressed some interest in.

Shawna: 00:26:44

Next week we're actually going to have a deeper dive on sleep.

Shawna: 00:26:47

Which is so important and we have a delightful guest who's going to come

Shawna: 00:26:50

and talk to us more about that So next week we'll have Frances with us and

Shawna: 00:26:55

we'll get some very valuable information and perspective on sleep the importance

Shawna: 00:26:59

of that and some ideas around how to know when you should be worried or

Shawna: 00:27:03

not and what you can do about that so i'm excited for that conversation.

Shawna: 00:27:07

That will be our First guests of our season two.

Shawna: 00:27:11

Working with some of the Wonderful individuals in the network, I've

Shawna: 00:27:14

definitely learned All the pieces that slow you down and this network

Shawna: 00:27:16

takes the tech and the stress away.

Shawna: 00:27:19

While also providing mentoring, community, and the power of a network to make sure

Shawna: 00:27:23

podcasts have the ,base they need with the right support so they can last.

Shawna: 00:27:27

We're very proud of the majority of our podcasts our network we should

Shawna: 00:27:30

top 10% in their very first month.

Shawna: 00:27:33

There's a class you can take to ease you n to podcasting.

Shawna: 00:27:37

To learn about all the foundations that you'll I Need to help you

Shawna: 00:27:40

build a successful podcast.

Shawna: 00:27:42

If you go to bit.ly/podcastd2d It's a podcasting from dreaming to doing intro

Shawna: 00:27:49

series And it'll be offered live for four sessions starting april 27th is a

Shawna: 00:27:54

thursday tuesday thursday tuesday And if you dm me D2D on instagram I'll even

Shawna: 00:28:00

send you a discount code for $50 off.

Shawna: 00:28:02

If you live in the Portland, oregon area you can even join us in person we

Shawna: 00:28:07

have a limited number of seats for that that you'd be welcome to join us to get

Shawna: 00:28:11

to have a little bit of community as well as being able to do that learning.

Shawna: 00:28:15

All the sessions will be live broadcast and also recorded.

Shawna: 00:28:19

There's an upcharge of.

Shawna: 00:28:19

Able To have um continued access to the recordings if you aren't

Shawna: 00:28:23

able to make each of the evenings.

Shawna: 00:28:25

But hopefully we'll be able to be there and be part of the conversations

Shawna: 00:28:28

Cause there's a lot of value in that.

Shawna: 00:28:31

If you are someone who is ready to jump around, right in past the courses and

Shawna: 00:28:34

are ready for coaching and launching- DM me join and i'll send you info about

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the network so that you can get right in and join all of these wonderful

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individuals who are building Their podcasts even dreaming of and making

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beautiful things happen out with their authentic connecting Out in the world.

Shawna: 00:28:52

All right Let's get onto our self care spotlight which needs to be changed

Shawna: 00:28:58

to life maintenance I need a catchy title you guys help me with this?

Shawna: 00:29:01

i can change it officially.

Shawna: 00:29:03

So my self care I was noting that i'm working way too much.

Shawna: 00:29:09

And i supposed to be savoring 2023.

Shawna: 00:29:11

y'all know this So i am actually going to the beach this weekend with my partner

Shawna: 00:29:18

and I'm so excited because we need it.

Shawna: 00:29:21

The weather's not even supposed to be that good and we don't care.

Shawna: 00:29:25

We need a little time away for the two of us and that is our favorite

Shawna: 00:29:29

thing is to get away for a couple of days and so we are going to take

Shawna: 00:29:32

a nice little weekend at the beach.

Shawna: 00:29:33

At a great place that i've been to i went on a little retreat there and

Shawna: 00:29:38

my partner has not been there yet so he's excited to see it for the first

Shawna: 00:29:41

time and we're just going to get away and has a nice long walk On the beach.

Shawna: 00:29:46

And a lot of resting and recovering and just chilling so

Shawna: 00:29:49

no work this weekend not allowed.

Shawna: 00:29:51

I finally hired some folks and we'll have some support so

Shawna: 00:29:54

that i can actually get away.

Shawna: 00:29:55

That was my way of making sure i was taking care of me getting back to it was

Shawna: 00:29:59

out of alignment and that was that i was working too much and I was taking over

Shawna: 00:30:03

too much and i was not happy about it so making some space for what's important.

Shawna: 00:30:07

Which is Quality time with the person that Is very dear to me so that we can connect

Shawna: 00:30:12

and i can get away a little bit and i'll do better work when i get back because

Shawna: 00:30:15

of it so i'm looking forward to that.

Shawna: 00:30:17

All right Grit Wit y'all so we're going to look at What we're going

Shawna: 00:30:21

to do to apply what we talked about.

Shawna: 00:30:23

About feelings as indicators.

Shawna: 00:30:26

We're going to plant a little seed With a concept about If others are doing the

Shawna: 00:30:31

best that they can for you to just kind of Noodle with that a little bit maybe

Shawna: 00:30:36

listened to the podcast from Brene Brown.

Shawna: 00:30:39

See what you think about that concept because they do a great job with it.

Shawna: 00:30:42

We're going to touch on it a little bit when we get to the burnout conversation.

Shawna: 00:30:46

But Just for you looking at you.

Shawna: 00:30:51

We're going to focus on emotions as indicators.

Shawna: 00:30:54

So when you have that knee-jerk emotion.

Shawna: 00:30:58

So remember it's actually six seconds that's being released.

Shawna: 00:31:02

What you do after that six seconds, With that chemical release in your brain

Shawna: 00:31:07

is what turns it into something that lasts longer that sticks with you more.

Shawna: 00:31:11

So with that six second release when you feel that to use that Curious

Shawna: 00:31:17

thing To kind of reflect on why you're having that stronger emotion.

Shawna: 00:31:22

Because we have lots of emotions.

Shawna: 00:31:23

you have joy, we have Love but we also have some stronger ones that you know

Shawna: 00:31:27

the ones i'm talking about the ones that can pinprick you a little bit, right?

Shawna: 00:31:31

When you have those to kind of stop and think about what

Shawna: 00:31:34

might be out of alignment.

Shawna: 00:31:36

What is happening That doesn't connect with how you want to be in

Shawna: 00:31:41

the world, and how you are in the world and when, how you're feeling?

Shawna: 00:31:45

And what that is that is for you.

Shawna: 00:31:48

It's a message for you not for anybody else.

Shawna: 00:31:51

Is it that you feel overwhelmed is it that you feel like you're not connected?

Shawna: 00:31:56

Is it that you feel you need more love and more joy?

Shawna: 00:31:59

Do you need More downtime?

Shawna: 00:32:02

Do you need More understanding??

Shawna: 00:32:06

Do you need more self-compassion?

Shawna: 00:32:08

What do you need?

Shawna: 00:32:10

What is this signaling for you?

Shawna: 00:32:11

What might this be an indicator for you?

Shawna: 00:32:13

And as much as If you're looking at this other person saying why are

Shawna: 00:32:20

you so loud and so out of control?

Shawna: 00:32:22

And stop and feel like is there somewhere in my life that

Shawna: 00:32:26

feels loud and out of control?

Shawna: 00:32:28

If i'm looking at you saying why aren't you getting everything done?

Shawna: 00:32:31

Is there somewhere in my life where i feel like why am i not getting everything done?

Shawna: 00:32:35

So even just trying to reverse what you're saying out really too inwardly

Shawna: 00:32:39

like how does the message for me?

Shawna: 00:32:41

Not for someone else cause i have no control over the someone else.

Shawna: 00:32:44

How has this the message for me.

Shawna: 00:32:47

So just start doing that.

Shawna: 00:32:49

Just give yourself The next 48 hours we're gonna give you a whole two days.

Shawna: 00:32:53

48 hours of just pausing when you have a pinprick emotion.

Shawna: 00:32:58

To be like what might this be an indicator of?

Shawna: 00:33:01

what might this message, For me, what might my body...

Shawna: 00:33:04

If this is the hot stove what am i supposed to pull him back

Shawna: 00:33:07

from ?When i say moving towards?

Shawna: 00:33:10

What else has to be moving around?

Shawna: 00:33:11

What might this be indicating they need to pay attention to?

Shawna: 00:33:15

So just start working with that and see if it if it resonates with you

Shawna: 00:33:19

because again not everything i say is going to resonate with all of you but

Shawna: 00:33:22

just see if that resonates with you.

Shawna: 00:33:24

Uh, suddenly you have a strong emotion with if there's some way that it

Shawna: 00:33:27

might connect with you in that way.

Shawna: 00:33:31

Something to think on I'd love to hear if this resonates with you

Shawna: 00:33:35

honestly because this is new to me as well and its new way of thinking.

Shawna: 00:33:38

So be kind of fun to find out from you so seriously instagram direct

Shawna: 00:33:42

messages best way to connect with me.

Shawna: 00:33:45

Sometimes it's hard for me to tell when i have new messages so if you don't

Shawna: 00:33:47

hear from a little while It's nothing personal it's just that it's taking me

Shawna: 00:33:51

a little while to know that it's a new message not just a Not just another

Shawna: 00:33:55

random person asking me to model their earrings or something random So it

Shawna: 00:34:01

might take me a minute to get back to you but i will find you and i will get

Shawna: 00:34:04

back to you just be patient with me.

Shawna: 00:34:06

But that is the best way to connect with me is on there.

Shawna: 00:34:10

Thank you so much for taking time To listen today and being part is community

Shawna: 00:34:15

You are the reason that the Grit Show is in the top 10% and has been for as long

Shawna: 00:34:22

as it has thank you so much for that And if there is someone you know Who might

Shawna: 00:34:28

be interested in this concept about emotions being indicators if you share

Shawna: 00:34:32

it with them you can both talk about it.

Shawna: 00:34:35

And see how it resonates with you And you never know they might just like

Shawna: 00:34:39

this show and become a listener and that would be amazing because we definitely

Shawna: 00:34:43

want to connect with more people that's why i'm here doing this that's

Shawna: 00:34:46

kind of the point and purpose right?

Shawna: 00:34:48

That would mean a lot just send them the link.

Shawna: 00:34:51

Thank you again for being here.

Shawna: 00:34:53

Remember You are the only one of you That this world has

Shawna: 00:34:57

got and that means something.

Shawna: 00:35:01

I look forward to connecting again next tuesday Have a good week