Episode 97

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Published on:

28th May 2024

Want Better Connections? Tips on How to Engage With Others -97

In this episode of The Grit Show, Shawna Rodrigues delves into the transformative power of meaningful relationships and the importance of engagement in our daily lives. From family routines to workplace dynamics, she explores how setting common goals so everyone is in alignment and encouraging input can significantly enhance connection and cooperation.

Drawing from personal anecdotes and professional experiences, Shawna offers practical strategies for engaging with partners, kids, and colleagues more effectively. She also discusses how her experience and exposure to early childhood education principles has taught her many of these concepts and how you can apply them to your life as well. Tune in to discover insightful tips designed to help you build stronger, more engaged relationships in the facets of your life where you most desire deeper connections.

Shawna Rodrigues left her award-winning career in the public sector in 2019 and after launching The Grit Show, soon learned the abysmal fact that women hosted only 27% of podcasts. This led to the founding of the Authentic Connections Podcast Network intent on raising that number by 10% in five years- 37 by 27. Because really, shouldn’t it be closer to 50%? She is the Director of Impact for the network, which offers full-service support for podcasting from mentoring to production. In September 2023 they are also launching the EPAC (Entrepreneurs and Podcasters Authentically Connected) community for those in early stages and wanting a place for weekly connection. She still finds a little time for her pursuits as a best-selling author and shares the hosting of Author Express, a podcast that features the voice behind the pages of your favorite book. Find her on Instagram- @ShawnaPodcasts and learn more about the network and other happenings at https://linktr.ee/37by27.

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Transcript

We feel it is important to make our podcast transcripts available for accessibility. We use quality artificial intelligence tools to make it possible for us to provide this resource to our audience. We do have human eyes reviewing this, but they will rarely be 100% accurate. We appreciate your patience with the occasional errors you will find in our transcriptions. If you find an error in our transcription, or if you would like to use a quote, or verify what was said, please feel free to reach out to us at connect@37by27.com.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

It's easy to notice when someone is disengaged. You're probably picturing somebody scrolling through their phone because that seems to be the current cultural sign of being disengaged, right? Someone whose eyes are a little glossed over, gazing off, looking at something else, not making eye contact, doesn't seem like they're listening, not really interested, doesn't really care. Probably describes a few teens that you might know many more. If you look around at a restaurant, especially with phones, you notice that people don't really seem to be that connected or engaged at the tables. What's the opposite of that? What does engagement look like? What does connected look like? Do you have a good sense of that? Is that something you want more of? People leaning in, people laughing, people enjoying hanging on words, trying to get their comments in? Where do you want more engagement in your life? At home, at work, in a group that you lead and a place you regularly go to? Today we're going to look at engagement, what that looks like, and maybe some tips how to get a little more of it. Welcome to the Grit show, growth on purpose. I'm your host, Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm happy to be here with you as your guide for all of us growing together as seekers and thrivers. In our last episode, number 96, we talked about how you frame things, about pessimism, optimism, what serves you and how you look at things and how you interpret things and the frame you put around them.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Essentially, in that I mentioned how someone gave me feedback about our wedding and how no one argued, no one was rude, nobody was mean, there wasn't any bickering, and how that surprised them because they'd never been at a wedding like that before. Interestingly, since I recorded that episode, I've done some reflection on that as well. I too had rarely attended an event where there weren't snappy remarks, someone who was in an off mood, causing issues, interfering, some sort of bickering. And clearly it's not just my family, because the person who told me this wasn't from my family, right? So it seems that that's something that can often happen with gatherings. And I also thought about the fact that when I looked around, there wasn't a lot of people playing on their phones. I joke about the fact that I took no pictures. I don't even know where my phone was most of the night because I was so engaged and so involved in what was going on. I would like to think that my outlook and ability to focus on what was important, savoring this time with those I held dear was a big part of it.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

I'm sure that my focus on savoring fun and frivolity and connection did have an important role to play. And that is some of what we looked at last week on the episode. But there was a lot of people there that didn't necessarily have the same outlook I had. And I do like to think that I am able to manifest many beautiful things, and that could be part of it. Right. I think there's a little more that went into that. And I started to realize that my wedding was highly engaging. I planned it that way, so that was part of it.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And there were some different things that weren't as obvious. I did put a lot of thought into having games. A lot of thought into the fact that one of the challenges with weddings is that there's two people that everyone is there to see, and there's only so much time and only so much face to face time everyone can have with those people. So there need to be more than just those two people and dancing, because my love of my life and a lot of his friends aren't necessarily into dancing. To keep people entertained and engaged and enjoying themselves. So the games were intended to have people get to know each other and to have other things to do and other things to keep them engaged. So there wasn't a lot of teenagers on their phones. There was a lot of interactive things that kept people engaged and part of things.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So that kind of engagement was part of the plan and part of what was happening. Right. Things that fostered engagement. I had an amazing friend of mine, amazing Alana, shout out to you, who was my emcee, and brought that vision to life for those games. Like, she definitely was great about getting people to know what was going on, explaining the games. Well, having people actually play them and actually do them. I know. I was shocked when people were missing their time to go get food because they were so involved in the games at their table, right.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So I was impressed that she got everyone playing the games, and everyone was so involved in doing those and getting to know each other and participating as well. But there was a behind the scenes piece that also went into people being engaged. And it's something that I learned about when I was actually probably early high school, late junior high. And it came with a time where I was upset about it, to be honest. To be honest, I was upset when this concept was first introduced to me because I have leadership tendencies. I don't know if you've noticed that I like to lead things I like to be involved in things, and I like to do things. I'm the person that steps up, raises my hand, raises my voice. That's me.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So when I was part of a church organization, when I was in early high school, and they were going to have people take roles of being, it wasn't treasurer and secretary. It was something else. They had names for them, and they wanted people to take these on, these roles, and I was excited to take on a role, and I wasn't given one, which bothered me because I was somebody who followed the run, things, got things done, took responsibility seriously, showed up for things, et cetera, et cetera. And I wasn't the person that they just automatically gave something to, which, of course, at that point in time, barely out of. It's probably when I was in 9th grade, 8th grade, like junior high, you know, sensitive time in life. It was a time where, like, that felt like a slight, and it was an indication that they didn't think that I was capable and they didn't think I could do these things right. And somebody pulled me aside and said the reason they did this was they wanted to get more people involved, different people involved, give them roles and responsibilities and have them show up and be more part of things because they had more responsibility and more pieces. It kind of didnt work out that way.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

The people didnt show up and attend more, and it kind of fell apart a little bit. But it was the first time that id been introduced to that concept that people taking on roles and responsibilities in doing things was a way to get people more involved. And because it didnt work out so well, I kind of was like, what? Thats kind of strange. Okay. But then I went on to work in early childhood and with young children. And if you've worked with young children and worked in early childhood classrooms, which I'm guessing most of you have not, but if you have or if you have young children, you've probably gotten the concept that by assigning kids jobs and roles, that's one reason they do that in a lot of early childhood classrooms, is that it does give them this sense of responsibility, the sense of belonging, the sense of being part of things, and it's this great way of inclusion and doing things. So I definitely learned later in my life and career that that was an important concept, and it's something that is a default for me, that I'm aware of that and know that, and that when I'm doing things, I tend to do that I have friends that, like, no kids are allowed in the kitchen. And for one of my friends that does that, she's got a lot going on in her house, and I totally understand that decision and support her no matter what she does in her decision making at my house.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

I don't have a lot of kids at my house. And so when kids come to visit Aunt Shawna, they're always in the kitchen standing on a stool. Helped me make things and me teaching them how to crack eggs and bake things. And I have other parents who are shocked that their kids will make things with me and do those things with me. And part of my learning in my time with head start, because we talk a little bit about here that I was an early childhood mental health consultant. I worked with young children. I have a background in clinical social work and working with kids. But the connection to head start in early childhood may not be something, something I talk about as much, but head starts, this really wonderful organization, and I got to learn all sorts of fabulous concepts about working with young children through my work with them, because I am a sponge.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

I love to learn and I soak up all the information. And they had a lot of concepts, such as, like when you're in, they do family style dining. They pass the food around, let the kids choose how much food that they're putting on their plate. This is their choice. And they can get seconds and whatever else instead of just handing them a set amount of food, because that's actually how they learn to figure out when they're full and how much they should eat and different concepts like that. And it's also a way of them being part of the decision making about how much food they will and what they're going to try or not try, et cetera, et cetera. And so those concepts like, have been ingrained because of what I've been exposed to and the experiences I've been fortunate to have in my life to learn about some of those things. So along with that comes this concept of giving people a say in things and having them be involved in things and that making a difference in their level of how engaged and involved they are.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And so, interestingly, when it came to my wedding, I put effort into noticing who would be less comfortable, knew fewer people at my wedding, and would benefit from having something that they were doing that they were in charge of or they were part of, so they could be more involved in that and doing that piece. Some people, it was blindly like, you're my friend, you're an artist, you're decorating my, the arch because you're you're amazing and you're great at it, so please do this. Not because you needed to have anything to do, because I need your skills. And in some cases, there was pieces of giving people stuff to engage them a little bit more intentionally, because I wanted them to feel like they were part of things and felt like that could make them feel more involved more than anything else. And I did put that effort into things and wondered if maybe that did pay off to some extent, that people had some way that they were a part of the wedding, right. So they felt more engaged and other people, like, everything is paid for. And we did, like, we did have a caterer and stuff like that. But there was a lot of things that got done because other people helped out.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And even though we had a rehearsal dinner, one dear friend of mine's daughter, who really wanted to be in the wedding, and there wasn't really a place for her to be in the wedding, she made cookies for everyone for the rehearsal dinner, which was a beautiful contribution that was grateful for and also made her more a part of things, right. Because she was able to contribute and make the cookies for dessert for the rehearsal dinner. So there's this piece of people being part of things when they're doing things and contributing in those ways. And it's something that I did for my wedding because I generally, like I said, kids come to my house, they learn how to crack eggs and bake bread and make cookies and cook things and do things in the kitchen, because they're a more likely to try the carrot souffle if they helped make the carrot souffle. Yes. I've. I've had kids eat carrot souffle because they were part of the process of making it, because I learned these concepts through my years, decades of working with head start and young children, that when kids are involved, are more likely to partake in the results. And that's how you get them to eat a more diverse diet, because they were part of creating the foods that they were eating, right.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And so these concepts about engaging are things that I took to my wedding, about having people being involved in different ways and different things. And that could have been part of what paid off for everyone to have a more enjoyable experience and for there not to be the bickering and whatever else, because people felt like they belonged and felt more engaged or more part of it. And honestly, when I looked around, I didn't see a bunch of people on their phones and not paying attention, not feeling a part of things and being a part of things and so those little things might have paid off from having interactive experiences to making a conscious effort to give people ways that they could be more involved. So thats part of our conversation today is thinking about how we can do things in a way that are more intentional to engage and to have people feel engaged, and so that we can have star connections and have more enjoyable experiences because people are feeling engaged. And like I mentioned, I had a career and head start in early childhood, and I forget some of the powerful things ive been able to be part of because I'm so engaged in my current work. And one of the things that I got to work on was the parent, family, and community engagement framework at the federal level. It was part of the TNTA and some different iterations and work done on that. And it's a really important, there's a whole booklet, a lot of work.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

They've done so much more since my time. It's been a long time since I was involved with any of that they've done around it. But one of the really important concepts is that things are positive and goal oriented relationships is one of the drivers of that framework, and that is what can drive engagement is the positive, goal oriented relationship. And it definitely talks about equity, which inclusiveness, belongings, all part of that. And the cultural, linguistic responsiveness is part of what I love about that, because that's such an important part of the head start mission. But as we're looking at things to really keep in mind that inclusiveness, that belonging, that positive, goal oriented relationships that we might take for granted as a way of how we bring people together and have that level of engagement. Because even as we talked about stuff that I gave, with example, my wedding, that was more probably involvement level. Engagement is like a deeper level.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And I don't think what I did for my wedding would have been found acceptable by these frameworks. There was like this positive goal of pulling up a wedding that people were involved in behind them. But there was another really critical step that I think is part of the tips I want to offer and the conversations for you to think about and to see how you can apply it to your world, your life, and what you're doing, to really see if you can integrate this at a deeper level to make it even more important, but also to remember that there's this continuum, right. And the first step is involvement, and then you work toward that deeper engagement and that deeper level, right. So work with where you're at and keep going forward. Excellent way to do things, right. So true. Engagement is this whole other level of really asking folks what they want to contribute, what their thoughts are and what they want to be part of and how they can be part of things.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So instead of me assigning someone to do so, we'll take, for instance, me asking my friend to do the flowers for the arch, to be able to decorate the arch and put the flowers on there instead, it would have been contacting a friend saying, so excited for my wedding. You're so artistic. Is there something you want to do? What would you enjoy doing? How would you like to be part of this day in a way that would be meaningful for you and giving space? And this friend might have said, I want to paint a picture of you that we put up when people first walk in. Maybe that's what they would have wanted to do, or maybe their idea of what they would have wanted to do would be to actually do the centerpieces instead of actually doing that piece. Or maybe they don't like designing stuff for events at all, and maybe they just wanted to do a little logo for the front of the programs I was giving out to people, and that's all they wanted to do. So, like, true engagement would be like getting them engaged on how they want to contribute, what they would like to do, what their vision is in incorporating that. And that's not something that I did for my wedding. I did not have the bandwidth and the time and those pieces.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So I'm offering you advice, and there's also the level of, you can take the information of, oh, this person's good at this. I have a need for this. Let's bring these things together and, like, give them this role and have this. But for true engagement, it is this bigger, goal oriented, positive, let's move towards this together. But how can we do it all together? So instead of it just being my vision, that we actually create the vision together and do these things together. So if, for instance, I had a softball team and I wanted more engagement in my softball team, that it would actually be like, what do we want the name to be? And we all come up with a name, and I listen to everybody's ideas, and we all work together and come together about what we want the name to be and how we want to be able to do this. And so there's always levels of things that you can get input on and things that you can't get input on in business and in life. Like, your kids can't decide what time their bedtime is probably, but they can decide what order they do their bedtime routine in right.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

That they might be able to do it a little bit different order than you normally do. And so if we always, for bedtime and bedtimes time, we want to have more engagement with our littles on to say, like. So before bed, we always watch a show, we always brush our teeth. You always put out our clothes for the next day for school, and we always wash our face, and we always snuggle with a kitty. So what are your thoughts about if we need to add anything to that routine and what order we do it in? Because right now that whole routine takes about 45 minutes. So we have to start doing at the same time at, you know, 07:00 or 630 or whatever time we get ready for bed, like do at the same time. But what order might we do it in? Can we do it in a different order? What order do you want to do it in? Do you have thoughts? Do we need to add anything to it? Like, do you want to snuggle the kitty and pet the dog? Like, what could we do? Do we need to make sure we get kisses from dad? Do we need to add that into the routine so that there's, like, this ability for engagement for them to give input in it? And is there some way we should track this? Should we write this on paper so we can all have it somewhere so that we know what it is? Because I'm trying to keep my head and some information, like, how should we do this? Do you want to draw pictures of each of these, or how should we do this? So the engagement piece is like, them figuring out part of it and then being part of it in a way that only they can contribute and they can be part of it and put into it, right? So softball team adults, like, it's a little bit different, right, of what their engagement can be. And it is figuring out, like, somebody, this person decides where we're going to have drinks after the game, and this person decides who's going to figure out where we'll get shirts from this year.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And it's not the same person doing all of the things. And so the engagement piece gets other people involved and has the input from different people about how we should do it. And if we should, instead of getting drinks into the game, we might find out we have people that don't actually like to drink and we'd actually much rather go to a pizza place where we can just have pizza and not drink at all. Because the place we go to is terrible food and all they have is drinks. And none of us drink or most of us don't drink or it's too late to do something after the game because we need to get home to get dinner and take care of kids. So how about we meet before the game and bring our kids and we all meet the playground beforehand and do this before the game and so that we can connect and do things. So by doing engagement and having conversations, you're getting input and learning and building around what everybody wants instead of just what somebody's just doing, because it's exhausting to be the one person doing, and you're also not making progress on meeting the needs and thoughts of what everyone else really wants. Right? So that's the whole concept with engagement, is that it is.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

It's more work to be getting the input. It's more work to be cooking with littles in the kitchen with you. But if you're going for that connection piece, if you're going for the people being part of things and building relationships and maybe having the kids eat the food, if you're trying to work on that or having the kids get to bed better, if you're trying to work on that, the engagement pieces can really move the dial on things happening. So if you have something at work that you're trying to get to take off and it's not taking off, or you're having a challenge with a certain thing, that having more engagement, finding a way to build engagement, might be the way to actually resolve it. And it's a challenging dance, right? Like, it's not super easy. It's something that has nuances in it and takes some trying to see what works to actually get people engaged involved and excited and to get to the other side of things. Like, I honestly didn't think things would work as well with my wedding as they did with the games that we chose and the people that actually were getting in line to spin that carnival will and the people who were getting excited about playing two truths and a lie and trying to figure out who at the table was telling the truth or not. Like, I was surprised and impressed at how many people actually got involved in the games and got excited about them and chose to lean into that experience and have it be this positive, engaging experience for them versus what it could have been had they not played into that and really joined in.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Really, your tips for engagement is for you to figure out where you want to have more engagement and more connection and then figure out how to get the input in ways that you can actually allow it. I know we've talked about that before on the podcast about how to actually get the input and get people involved. So that's your thing to start thinking about is how you can get the input in a way that helps others to feel engaged and can actually move the dial on that connection and actually building relationships in team and bringing folks together to really make a difference on what you're trying to do in your personal life, in your family, with a team that you're on, with a group you're part of or even at work, because really strong relationships and more engagement makes everyone feel more like they belong, more involved and brings people together. So before we get into a little bit more of the application, we're going to jump over to do our self maintenance minute because we do that every week and it is so important for us to give that time to really look at self care, how we're taking care of ourselves and what we were doing in that regard. And this week, I'm kind of surprised at what I'm doing for my self maintenance and curious how it will pan out. Because again, I feel like things are constant testing and reflecting and seeing what's working and what's not working. And so what I'm doing is I am starting work earlier every day, which is interesting because in my nine to five career, so to speak, that when I have my career in work for other people, I found that when I went into work earlier, I still worked later and I just ended up working more hours. So I have this story I told myself going back to the stories we tell ourselves from last week, right.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

That the story I told myself was that working earlier meant working longer and so stopped that. Stopped getting to work earlier because it just meant really long days for me and I was more exhausted and moved me closer to burnout faster because I was doing that. So I done not doing that. Not going to work earlier just made for longer days. But now that I have my own business and I have these amazing goals, I have a longer term goal of having days that I get off early and specifically the three days a week that I'm going to get off early after working eight hour days and having those early days. So that is my goal. I also realize that that's not going to happen anytime soon. So.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

But building those habits as part of getting there right, that starting earlier, getting the best work done, and seeing and proving to myself that I can get more done when I start my day earlier and changing that narrative and getting in the habit of starting my day earlier is the first step in that transformation happening. And we're going to talk soon. Watch out for it. There's going to be an episode more about building habits and the importance of habits and how every big move happens with these little changes that we implement and that's sticking to them and the whole cycle and the reward cycle that we need to have built into it. So I built a reward cycle into my starting my work day earlier and I'm starting my work day earlier so that I can eventually end my work day earlier and really reward myself for that and see that as where I'm going to be in the future and doing these small things for this long term benefit. So that is my self care. Still took my weekend and did some great things for myself and doing those things that you just heard about last week and that you're aware that I do for myself. But that is my self maintenance piece is building habits and taking small steps and starting my work day earlier that I've rebelled against a little bit.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So it's a big move for me that I'm starting to do that. So that's my self maintenance minute for you guys. And we'll flip back now to our grit wit, our takeaway advice that we're going to take home with us around how we can really apply what we talked about with having more meaningful relationships with our partner, our kids, our softball team, someone at work, someone we supervise, like how we can use engagement to better connect and to build those relationships. So let's really break down who we want to have that deeper connection with and where we want to have more engagement, where we see the disengagement happening. If we go back to the very beginning of the episode, when we talked about the disengagement, what it looks like, like where do we see that? And it bothers us, where are we seeing the disengagement and we want to see the shift. Where is a place and who is an IndiVidual? Like, let's figure that out first. So think about that. Where and who do we want to see that shift with? Because that's the very, very first step, reflecting on where and who you want to practice having more involvement and more engagement and thinking about that concept, we can take from head start the framework for more engagement, right? About positive, goal oriented relationships.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And so thinking about having a goal that we can start building that relationship around, like, what do we want to have more engagement? What's the goal? And it might be the goal is the better bedtime and it's already kind of built in. Or it might be that there's a work goal and it's already built in because we're planning an event for work or we have something we're trying to do for our clients at work that we can already have a goal around, that we can come together. But the first thing is for that goal to be what you start working around. So you need to identify who you want to build this with and then what the goal would be that you can start building that better engagement around for you guys to work towards and you need to get that buy in around what that goal is. So that's the very first thing is to start figuring out that goal and being able to start gathering what they bring to the table towards that goal and how you guys can start working together towards that goal and how contributing together. Because again, you're not guiding, you're not deciding, you're equally belonging and connecting and coming together to work towards this goal. So how can you come together around this goal and what might they contribute and how can they contribute to making this happen? And that's how you are going to start working on building better connection and better engagement by getting that involvement and that involvement leading towards engagement with that individual or individuals towards this goal. So thinking that through and then making that plan.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So the big first step is identifying, right? Who and what, like what is the goal and who are the individuals? Like, where do you want to have that larger sense of engagement and then thinking through what are the things we can work with? Right? So if the who is this group of moms that you've seen at the soccer field that you want to be better connected to, what is the goal that has to do with a soccer team that you guys could come around and rally around and work on together. And maybe that goal is to get new uniforms. Maybe that goal is to get snacks before the game every week for the kids because you don't already have that. Or maybe it's a goal of finding a way that the kids can get together to practice more frequently. Or maybe the goal is to help a specific family that's part of the team. Or maybe the goal is something a little more tangential, like you guys always go to the same park, you guys practice that and you've noticed the playground needs some work. So maybe your goal is to have a cleanup day for that park, right? There's lots of ways. And then you can build that engagement.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

You guys working on that goal oriented, positive thing that you guys are all doing together to make that happen. So if you want more engagement with the other parents in your soccer team, that's the way you can build that, if you want more engagement with your partner, maybe you can find a common goal that you both can get behind. And it has to become a goal you can both get behind. So you need to find something you both agree you want to work on. And maybe the goal is that you both agree that you really want the space in your backyard to be a place you both enjoy. And then you have to come together with both of your input about how you can make that place in your backyard a place you can enjoy. And so it's not just like in my instance. I love flowers, and my partner loves sun, and I need shade.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So we need to work together on how we can find flowers, but also shade, but also a girl, because he likes to cook. So what else would he like out there? He likes cornholes. So how can we get the cornhole out there? So it has to be like, the goal is a positive outdoor space we both enjoy. And then together, we had to have input from both of us about how we can build that together. And then we're both engaged and both trying to make it happen, because it's both of our goals, and we're working together and supporting each other and doing all the pieces because it's supporting both of us, and we're working towards the same goal. And so the goal can't be for me to have a garden, because me having a garden is not a common goal. That's a me goal. That's not a common goal.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So it needs to be something you find that's a common goal. And when you have a me goal, you need to recognize the me goal. And so if I want brownies tonight and it's only for me, and nobody else in the house likes brownies, and that's for me. So I need to find something that we all want that we can come together around and find that bigger picture thing that we could all work towards. Right? So you gotta get that buy in and see if it's something that other people can rally behind, and we can all get behind that goal because we all want the same thing. So that's the thing for us. It's hard, right? It takes some thinking through to figure that out. That's what I want you to actually think through and put some effort into is that application starting with where you want more engagement, where you want more connection, where you want to build those relationships, it could be as close as your partner, as removed as some women you've seen at a coffee shop you go to all the time that you see, reading that you would like to be connected to, like, the goal oriented relationships, like that is such a beautiful thing to move you towards that engagement and that connection.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So find a way that you guys have a common goal that you guys can build around and make sure it's a common goal and you can build around it to make it happen. And if things aren't happening, like, nobody's helping me with the brownies and evaluating if it's actually a common goal, if it's just a meagle. Cause I want brownies, which you better bet your buttons that I'm gonna go make some brownies tonight after this conversation. Yeah, I have a recipe for the cream cheese and cherry on top for the brownies. Yum. Gonna have to freeze them because, you know, I can't eat them all and I'm not gonna get much help. But that's what you need to do, is to find, like, the common ground piece and to take your picture up a level. So instead of me just focus on garden, I focus on a beautiful outdoor space that we can both enjoy and what the other folks would want to have a part of that.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

So find the ways to add in there. Use the political thinking of, like, what else can we roll into this so it gets bigger and everybody can be involved, and then put the effort into tying what you want into that bigger thing. So mine could be, like, if we're supposed to be having, you know, a picnic, that my partner really wants to be outside in the sun and he wants a picnic and brownies are part of the picnic, then that could be part of it. And then maybe I could get some help with making the brownies if I needed help making brownies because they're part of the picnic. It's part of being out in the sun. That's part of his goal. So we're having a mutual goal here, that we're rolling it all together so we can work together with that. Different ways of looking at things.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

Right. I'm so glad you're here. I really enjoy this time connecting, and I love it when you reach out and let me know what you're working on based on these conversations and the progress you've had and what really resonates with you. So I know what to spend more time on, because as adult learners, we need to revisit certain concepts for them to stick. And so if there's things you want us to revisit because they sparked something, we can do that. And I recommend you going back and listening to the things that do resonate with you because it takes more than once. It takes more than once. Simple as that.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And I'll try to revisit the things. If you tell me you need to hear more about certain things, we'll revisit them. So just jump onto Instagram, jump onto Facebook, send me a note and let me know. I may not see it immediately, but I will see it and we'll definitely take into consideration the things that you want to hear more about. Thanks for being here. Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoy this episode. Be sure to jump on over to Instagram and follow us at the Grit show.

Shawna Rodrigues [:

And if you aren't already following Authentic Connections Podcast Network at @37x27, you should definitely be doing that as well. Don't forget, you are the only one of you that this world has got and that means something. I'll be here next Tuesday. I hope you are too.

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About the Podcast

THE GRIT SHOW
Growth on Purpose
Are you a giver and a doer? Are you someone who has shown your grit and powered through, and now you're ready for the other side? Now you re looking for the conversations that remind you about self care, that bring to mind grace and understanding, and give you space to reflect on purpose. Do you want more room to breathe and to live life with a little more ease? Each week, we discover tools and ways of thinking that support alignment, build stronger connections, help us find better questions, and live our best life. Most weeks we laugh, some weeks the topics touch close to home, but ultimately; this is where we grow together as seekers and thrivers. The Grit Show - growth on purpose. https://podcast.TheGritShow.com

About your host

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Shawna Rodrigues

Shawna Rodrigues, Podcast Strategist and Founder of Authentic Connections Podcast Network, Host of The Grit Show (https://podcast.thegritshow.com), co-host of Author Express (https://bit.ly/AuthorExpressPod), and coming in 2024- Authenticity Amplified. Shawna is passionate about increasing the number of podcasts hosted by women, an internationally best-selling author (www.shawnarodrigues.com), and a sought after speaker & consultant.
Find her on Instagram @ShawnaPodcasts.