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Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:00:00

I love deep conversations and to ask questions. Obviously I have a podcast or three. Actually, Lots of Questions is not everyone's jam. Luckily, I realize that my husband is actually one of the people who isn't always a fan of questions, but if you joined the last episode, you may have learned that as well as learning how powerful vulnerability can be. In this follow up episode we continue our journey through the 20 questions for a year. Well loved. Exploring communication and our shared future, providing a real life example of how these conversations can unfold. As Rabi shares more on his journey from resisting this conversation to leaning into it, you'll hear exactly how pushing past comfort can transform your relationships.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:00:52

These conversations don't have to happen a certain week of the year, but they are so valuable to have and that's why we made the download available to each of you so that you can have these conversations with the people you care about most in your life. More meaningful conversations with your partner means more connection and that is my word of the year for 2025 and something I'm hoping for you as well as creating more of in my life. I'm glad you're here to be part of this and I hope you download your copy and let us know what you got from having this conversation and even listen in on ours.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:01:28

Welcome to the Grit show where our focus is growth on purpose. I'm your host Shauna Rodriguez and I'm honored to be part of this community as we journey together with our grit intact to learn more about how to thrive and how to get the most out of life. It means a lot that you are here today. As you listen I encourage you to think of who may appreciate the tidbits of knowledge we are sharing and to take a moment to pass this along to them. Everyone appreciates a friend that thinks of them and these conversations are meant to be shared and to spark even more connections.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:02:10

We are so excited that you guys get to have follow up episode so if you did not already listen to the last you guys need to go back and listen to it so you can get the first half of the conversation. But we are back again with Robbie Lawrence who you probably know better as love of my life. My husband and he and I started last episode talking to you about 20 questions for a year. Well loved and we didn't get that far because we had so many fabulous things to chat about and we were even trying to only do with only half the questions and only like having one of us answer half the questions. We didn't get that far. So this is a good indication that there's 20 of them. And you might want to break them up into just doing a section. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:02:59

You have a month of date night carved out. Possibly. So we went ahead and we did that question. We did two questions, one each, each of the categories of growth and evolution and emotional connection and challenges and resilience. And so we still have communication, understanding and future and aspirations for us to touch on.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:03:18

Yes, indeed.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:03:19

Yes. And so far, we found that it was kind of enjoyable doing this, right?

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:03:24

Yes, surprisingly enjoyable for me.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:03:26

Yes. Because if you listen to the last episode, you know that Ruby isn't so big on being on camera. Not so big on talking publicly.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:03:36

Yeah. Not in general. I don't enjoy. I don't think I enjoy any of it. But the last episode I very much enjoyed. So sometimes I surprise myself.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:03:48

Yes. So if you've been around, you might be already be aware of the fact that Ruby is very much an athlete. He grew up performing actually on the international level with wrestling and some of the stuff he pursued when he was younger. So he's used to performing athletically.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:04:08

Right. I have no problem wearing a singlet. And if you know wrestling, you know what that is. So essentially nude. It feels like in front of thousands of people doing an athletic event. No issue with that whatsoever.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:04:22

No, but speaking.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:04:25

Speaking, having a camera right up in my face, having my picture taken, having a microphone, none of those things are very comfortable for me.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:04:32

Yes. We joke about the fact that in our first six months together, you probably had more pictures taken of you than in the prior 20 years.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:04:39

Yeah, the first six months. But in the six years we've been together, we have eclipsed the amount of photos I had taken the previous 44 years and by a factor.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:04:52

By a factor of 10. At least so he tolerates my desire to capture us together and that I post them. So you probably haven't even talked about the fact that there's been twice now that you've been recognized in public from my social media.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:05:07

Your social media, which is crazy. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:05:11

So what does that like?

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:05:12

Interesting and strange to know that in the general public walking around, somebody would look at me and recognize from some social media that they pay attention to. So, yeah, that's definitely an interesting phenomenon that you don't expect. Like one of them was walking into a gas station.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:05:36

Yeah. Very rural part of Oregon. Very rural part of Oregon.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:05:42

And I was recognized from Shawna's Instagram.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:05:45

Yes, yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:05:46

Which is just wild. Yeah, I know.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:05:49

Yes. And I thought it was interesting when somebody was describing you based on seeing you on my social media. And it's very true the way they described you as being, like, super happy and like, just saying all these things. And I see that side of you. But it's so funny that I remember when we first got together, you have this picture view from doing. Running is also something that Ruby still does. Not as much now. Especially before we got together, you were doing a lot of running.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:06:19

You did a lot of team races. And you have this review when you're in a hilt, but you had this full beard. Somebody's like, I wouldn't want to look like a dangerous defended guy. And especially when we're together, like, he kind of had that domestic vibe.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:06:40

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:06:40

And then for people to see media and you see him through my eyes, which is like this super loving, amazing, incredible, thoughtful human. Which he is. But then to realize that, like, most people would walk into a gas station six years ago and see.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:07:05

It's funny because I've actually thought of that a number of times. I've got a pretty good scowl.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:07:10

You do.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:07:11

And I was really good for a lot of years, like, walking around in public with my don't mess with me, don't ask me questions scowl. That makes sense. And that was, like, on purpose. Yeah. Like, I didn't want to be interacted with. And I don't have that anymore.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:07:31

No. And everyone at your jobs, they love you. And Ruby's everybody's favorite. And it's really like, it is who you are. Like, it is who you are. But it's so funny to, like, know the dichotomy of, like, you've been through a lot and you have some walls up. Like, that's like, you know, just where everyone just loves you and wants to be close to you and appreciates you.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:07:54

It's interesting in that I think of myself as somebody who's open and. And approachable. But I'm really good when I don't want to be at projecting that. And there were plenty of times and for multiple, maybe consistent years where I was projecting very hard that I was not approachable.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:08:20

Yes. Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:08:22

And so it's fun to see. It's fun to be more open and out there with my life than I was before. Does that make sense? But it's also really fun to look back and see just how obvious it was closed off I was, if that makes any sense whatsoever. But you're right. Like that picture she's talking about, people see that and they're very surprised that people who Know me now, See that? And are very surprised at what I'm very aggressively anti friend.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:09:00

Yes, yes, yes. Very much so. Yeah. And now you're the guy that's fighting the New York Times and the guy that gets recognized from his social media.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:09:11

And people come up and talk to me. And yes, it didn't happen before. Like, not being out in public and having somebody just round up and ask me a question or ask if I'll help them with this or that. Like, that never happened before.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:09:25

Now we're wedded to Robie.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:09:28

Oh, my God.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:09:29

Oh, I love it. I'm very lucky to have you. Okay, so these questions are meant. And they're in the show notes. You can get your own printout of these funny questions so that you can use them with your partner so you guys can connect and reflect on the past year and kind of look ahead. We're getting to the future aspirations part, which I'm excited about. So for communication understanding, do you want to go first and ask one of these questions first in communication understanding?

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:09:56

Sure, I would love to. When you ask me one, you can go up instead of down on the list because I'm going to skip because I saw this and I really want to know this answer. What's one thing I could communicate better?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:10:10

Ooh, one thing you could communicate better.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:10:17

It's a scary question to ask your partner, by the way.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:10:21

Yes, but a good question. You come so far in this area. I think the first year we were together, I probably would have had a list. Yeah, that makes sense. So right now I'm going through all the things that you're communicating really well. So you've done such a good job about even telling me how you're wanting to react to something and you're taking a break to not react that way. So even, like, are you not only how you're reacting to things, but you're communicating what things you have to pause.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:10:56

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:10:56

And redirect on. And that's so impressive. I can think of, like, better about communicating. I think the one thing you communicate better, but I don't think that for a lack of being able to communicate, but a lack of you being able to figure out. I think that there's times where you get in a zone where you don't know what you want, but I think even then you're communicating with me that you don't know what you want to do. Like, you aren't sure what you want to do.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:11:27

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:11:27

And I think you're pretty good at communicating to me. You don't know what you want to do. So I think you're doing a decent job of communicating that you don't know what you want to do. So it's less a communication piece and more like, you know, you trying to figure out, like, what you want when you're in that zone, because you have a zone where, like, you don't know if you want to go do something, stay. And I can't figure out if you're feeling, like, obligated to spend time with me, but you don't want to spend time with me. So many times we have time together, so maybe kind of communicating what's at play when you're in that zone. And maybe I communicate better that I'm wondering if it's like, is it because we have time to spend time together, we don't have much time and together that you're feeling like you need to spend time with me, but that's not what you feel like doing. So that's why it's harder to figure out what you want to do.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:12:11

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:11

Does that make sense?

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:12:12

It does. I will say along those lines. I don't think it's ever that. Oh, and it could be. I mean, I'm sure there's times when you want to spend time together that. I wish I was doing something else. That's just natural.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:27

Yes. Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:12:28

But in general, it's like, I was thinking about this last night. We were watching the movie Ennui.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:34

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:12:34

Right. I experience ennui enough, and I'm used to experiencing it alone.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:40

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:12:41

Right. And I find ways to occupy myself, but I just deal with it. But now I'm in a relationship and it pops up. It's a different experience. Because now you're having to handle me having that on the experience where I'm listless and there's nothing I want to do and nothing sounds good, and it's frustrating for me about myself, but it's interesting to see how a partner responds to it. But it's interesting to find out that you think it may be me having a reaction to feeling like I need to spend time with you. Maybe five years ago, it would have been that way. But you are so good at letting me have my time to myself that I don't really feel that very much anymore.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:13:33

Good.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:13:33

I mean, you evaluate choosing to do something and whether or not we should be spending time together without having the obligation or feeling an obligation to spend time with you when I don't want to.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:13:47

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:13:47

Does that make sense? So I think it's the right choice for A partner myself. To think, should I be spending time with my wife, who now has some free time, who's been working all day as opposed to going and hitting balls on the simulator? I think that's legitimate thought that I should be having. What I don't have is the. I can't do this because I should be spending time with my wife, which I don't know if I would verbalize that in a way that it's obvious that there's a difference or not, but there is in my head.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:14:21

That's a good difference. That's a good difference. Yeah. I think the eye wormy that I'm like, there's a. Well, the way our brains operate differently. And you know me that like, if you're like, so, what do you want to do today? I could, like, list a gazillion things. And I think that I used to always just list a gazillion things, and now I stopped myself because I don't want to do any of those things.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:14:41

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:14:42

Things I could do today.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:14:43

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:14:43

So I try not to list a gazillion things, but there's always a gazillion things to do. And so when you're not sure you want to do, like, I can't, like, do I just go do what I want to do or do I wait to figure out what we want to do? Like so.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:14:58

But I have no problem with you not wanting to do anything and just being bored and not doing anything and we figure out something else to do. But I don't want to feel like I'm being dismissive of you too. So I think those are the one things that, like, that's. I think it's harder for me to know how to communicate those times too.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:15:11

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:12

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:15:12

Yeah. Interesting. I mean, I never have an issue if I'm in that moment. If you're like, all right, I'm gonna go do this, that would help me in that I then wouldn't feel obligated to come up with something immediately. So when you ask what I want to do and I'm telling you that I don't know of it, like, I can't think of anything or nothing sounds great. I then am carrying the stress of trying to come up with something to give you an answer. Now. If you were like, all right, well, I'm going to go do this until you think of it or whatever, that totally.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:47

That's what I think. We don't communicate well. Is that I'm going to do this, but feel free to interrupt me if you come up with something better instead of. I think sometimes we think that the other one has moved on and there's like realizing we can't interrupt each other. I don't think we communicate that this is temporary or this is what we want to do. Like, we just kind of just like, fill out the conversation and don't do that. So that's probably what we communicate better, is like, okay, this is. Yeah, I can go work on the garage, but I'm not married to that idea and will gladly be interrupted or whatever else.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:19

But you don't have to feel obligated to go work on the garage.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:16:21

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:22

Like, something like that. Like, I think I could communicate that better, too. Like, that maybe we could communicate a little better. It's like, or, I'm gonna go hit some balls. But, like, I can interrupt at any time. Or like, you just need to focus in the garage and give me some space for a while. So, like, kind of like naming. More apathy.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:38

That makes sense. Because you kind of just like something and like, like, yeah, like, not to decide is to decide where we end up with.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:16:49

Right. Yeah. It's interesting because I feel like I don't need a goal or a something to do all the time. And I think you strive a little more for have. You have so much in your life that it's harder for you to be without goal.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:04

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:17:05

If that makes sense. And so, yeah, it's just an interesting dynamic on the communicating that I don't even know how to communicate. That's why it's hard for me when I feel I don't even know how to communicate other than being like, I don't know what I want to do. Like, don't give me six options because I'm not going to be able to choose one. I am equally as fine with any of the options, but I don't want to have to choose one. Yeah, that makes sense because I think I'm pretty good. If I want to do one, I'll let you know. Yeah, I'm better than I used to be, at least.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:41

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:17:41

Or I'll tell you that three of those sound great. Those two I really don't want to do.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:46

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:17:47

Anyway, that's interesting.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:49

That's the only thing they can think of that's. It's probably partially because I need to communicate it better, if that makes sense.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:17:57

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:58

How about what topic deserved more of our attention this year?

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:18:02

Nothing comes to mind. I'm going to talk for a bit and hope something pops into my head because I feel like, we do a pretty good job of talking about things that come up. I feel like we've both become pretty good communicators. I feel like we both value ourselves enough that we stand up for ourselves when we feel the need to each other. And we both are pretty good at expressing our needs and desires in our relationship. And it's taken growth to get there, especially for me. I'm not always good at communicating my desires. And then after being frustrated for X amount of time, then I explode and it comes out in a negative way.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:18:45

And then. And I feel like that happened a lot more often early in our relationship. And I don't feel that. And learning to A, be okay, that I want X or why, and B, communicating that directly is not a negative thing. In fact, it's a positive thing. What that has done for me is just make me much more open about how I'm feeling about something.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:19:10

Yeah. The interesting thing about, like, even that phrasing is that I think one of the things that we do well is giving the right amount of attention.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:19:19

Okay.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:19:20

I think that one of the secrets of our relationship is that we put things out there and then we let them go to some extent. Like, we can share how we feel about something or frustration with something and then not have to be attached to the outcome or know that it has to be resolved or be like, this is the way that it is. So if I'm frustrated with something about your job or if you're frustrated with how I'm working or how late I'm working, I'm sure we're actually really good about not being too frustrated about that. But it was a frustration for you. Or that we could communicate that and then kind of let go the other person. Understanding how we feel about something is enough.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:20:05

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:20:06

Without it having to be, like, held like a knife at each other's throats all the time.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:20:11

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:20:12

Because I think that sometimes other relationships, that people hold things against them all the time. I don't know if it's because they don't feel heard or if they can't accept that things are the way that they are.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:20:25

I'm wondering if it's not more that we're both pretty secure in ourselves. And I feel like I don't have to convince you to think like I do.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:20:36

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:20:37

And a lot of people are trying to convince their partner to think like they do. And if I was insecure in our relationship or if I was insecure in who I am, I would probably feel the need to, like, pester you on an issue and want you to think about it the same way I do.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:20:55

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:20:56

And I don't have that need. Like you don't have to agree with me and think about something the way I do. And I don't feel like you need me to agree with you on a topic, whatever topic it is either. Like we're okay with each other having a different opinion or thought on an issue, whether it's a big issue or a small issue. Now obviously there are some issues that need resolved if they were major. But in general we're comfortable enough in our relationship and in ourselves that I don't feel we harp on things with the need for the other to agree with us.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:29

No, I think that's a great way to look at it. I hadn't seen it that way and I think that that's probably really the key to it. And I think. Do you mind me sharing like the example of your days off? That example is that because Ruby has four days he works and for him the ideal day off is Wednesday. Right. Right in the middle of the week. So work two days on, two days off. And I love to travel.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:54

I live weekends away and I get why he doesn't want to have a Monday or Friday off.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:22:01

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:22:01

And so in our relationship at past jobs, like I proposed Tuesday as an option because then if there's a Monday holiday, so he's still not Wednesday. Right. But Tuesday is great because there's a Monday holiday week, four day weekend, we could take advantage of Monday holidays and be gone Saturday to Tuesday keep us flights if we're flying somewhere like best days for traffic, it's Saturday and Tuesday. Like we could take advantage of those long weekends. And so he was able to see that logic. If he hadn't stuck till Wednesdays, I'd been a little. But I wouldn't have taken it personally or like complained about it to everyone. I talk 10 years like somebody, otherwise she just might have.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:22:41

And in the end he was able to do Tuesdays off at that. At that job at that time. And so on this current position there's been a lot of moving around with days often times off and whatever else. And currently Wednesdays was the option and everything wasn't the option. And then it was moved to Mondays not by his. His deciding. And Mondays are the worst days for a lot of reasons. But my hardest days, my jobs and he has his day off.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:23:11

He does often golf on his days off. A lot of times we'll hit a happy hour and I'll try to get off work early so we can go to happy hour his days off because he works late on the days he does work because he has 10 hour days. And so try to do that. And like Mondays are the worst, right? Yeah. I have meetings every Monday from like 4:00 to 6:00pm so like no way on those days. And it's just, it's just not ideal because I can't take long weekends on those days and whatever else. And so I was really disappointed when that happened and things worked out. He was able to get.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:23:42

And for Monday holidays he would not get Monday holidays, he would just get an extra day of pay for those weeks. So he would get your days off. And we both value time off more than extra in the bank. And it was able to work out that he can have Fridays off which are better for us to have. Which is really nice to know that with that I'm not gonna like because he doesn't always get what he wants work either. But I'm not gonna intend him these lives getting really off. But then he's able to take my thoughts and opinions and sharing them, but not taking it personally if that doesn't work out for you.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:24:20

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:24:20

So that's like an example of ways that are able to like the right amount of attention, share stuff against it and like try to work the best, but be able to do that. I'm so excited when you move to Tuesdays instead of Wednesdays. We worked out because it was nice for our weekends. Even though it wasn't your favorite.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:24:40

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:24:41

So yeah. Yes. I appreciate it and I was willing.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:24:44

To make that change. It's minimal. Right. For me, like ultimately Tuesday versus Wednesday doesn't make that big of a difference.

Still.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:24:52

Yes. I prefer Wednesdays. It's like the perfect mid week day off. But being able to change that and making it better for us on the weeks we do travel, it's totally worth it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:03

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:25:03

And then when the opportunity was no longer there, then we have to settle with what it is.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:10

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:25:10

Again, not ideal, but I'll make it work.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:13

Yes. And the fact that we can definitely understand that we're all on the same team for those things instead of.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:25:19

It's not contentious.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:21

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:25:21

Again, we're a team. We're not battling each other.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:25

Yes. We're so lucky. We're a team.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:25:27

I agree.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:28

Yes. I'm glad we choose each other.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:25:30

Me too. Every day.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:31

Every day. Yes. So future and aspirations and I think it's your turn to ask. We can talk things I forget.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:25:40

I will ask. I like this question. So what Excites you most about our future together?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:46

Oh, it's interesting to go back and, like, listen to podcast episodes because the fact that I talked about we had a name for it one time, like, this house. Like this house, like, moving from our haven is to this house to have more space and have those pieces that we have here. I'm excited for us to get to the house. We're going to eventually have the next house that we buy, and we get to get those pieces down. Like, I'm excited for that chapter for us when things are a little bit more settled and we are able to travel a little bit more. And it's great because I can see that for us. And I get excited because I can see that for us. I love that one of the great things about our future is our future is also our present and that we do make time for travel and we do make time for our connection, and we do make time in this space that we have now that I can so clearly see our future because so much of it is in our present.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:26:53

So I think that that's something that most about our future is that it's so clear in our present that it's going to be there. So I get excited about more travel and the places we're going to go and the places we're going to see and adventures we're going to go on together. And then having this haven that we kind of have a little bit more backyard, basically, it was set up so we can have our outdoor space and more of, like, I mean, our fire pit and energy outside and more of that type of stuff that I'm excited to have. But I love it that we already have so much of that integrated into our current space in life that it makes it feel so tangible.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:27:34

All right, that's good. I like that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:36

Yes. We take our little adventures, the coaster. It's kind of interesting to look back on, even though this is like our year of the least travel. We said our year of least travel.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:27:48

It's funny that you think of it as the year, or you call it the year of our least travel, because I will tell you how often my co workers say they wish they lived my life because of how often we do things and travel. And that's our least traveled year.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:28:05

Our least traveled year, exactly.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:28:07

I find that best. And as you know, but the listeners who are watching this don't know, I did not travel for 10 or 15 years.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:28:18

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:28:18

The only time I would ever leave the valley where I lived was to go to a race to Run. And I only flew a few times, but in general, it was somewhere that was drivable. And since we've been together, yeah, I've been traveling like crazy again. And it's. It's so much fun. I love it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:28:37

I like our adventures.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:28:38

I wouldn't do that without you, and I think you know that. But I don't know if I've ever expressed it to you how much I appreciate it because I would not do any of it just because I wouldn't take the time or the effort put in to set things up. You know, I think the one time I've set up a trip for us, since we've been together with San Diego, a few Christmas presents. Yes. And I do not relish the experience of timing a vacation for me, let alone for somebody, because I will just roll with any mistakes that happen once I get on a vacation. And if I'm alone, I don't have to worry about how that affects the person I'm with, increase my stress by tenfold by having a partner that I care about, want to be happy and enjoy herself, and then have me try to plan that vacation. Because if things go awry, I'm going to take personal ownership over the fact that it went awry, even if it wasn't my fault. So, yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:29:39

Anyway, I enjoy that I get to travel and very little of my emotional involvement is in setting it up to make sure you have a good time.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:29:48

Which, as a side note, at your holiday party, at your work, I had at least three. At least three people comment to me about beach planning our travel, which is so funny because I've never had that many people that have been talking about me and my. I do travel a lot and I do plan a lot of travel questions about it.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:30:10

I think that what you may or may not understand is a. I hope you all can tell how much I love my wife and appreciate her. My co workers are probably sick and tired of me talking about how awesome you are and how much I love the things that you do, like plan travel and. And that it's okay that one of us is a planner and one of us is not. I think that's what they hear about more, is that you are detail oriented and I'm less so. But I appreciate that you're detail oriented. It doesn't bother me. It doesn't like, it's not a bone of contention for us that we are so different in terms of planning.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:30:48

Example is when we travel. Shawna has many more things to pack than I do.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:30:57

I do not travel late.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:30:58

And pretty much regardless of where we go, I'm going to be fine with a backpack.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:31:04

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:31:04

Regardless of the place.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:31:05

Exactly.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:31:06

Or the distance we're traveling or the country we go to, I'm going to be fine with a backpack. Part of that is if I forget something or I get somewhere and I recognize I need something I didn't pack, I'm perfectly fine going and buying it. Shawna doesn't like to have to buy something she already has and know that she's now going to have an extra that if she just would have packed the correct thing, she wouldn't have had to do that. So we have a different response to that. Right. But I talk about that at work, how much I appreciate your detail and how much I find out we have this amazing hotel that I didn't even know existed that you booked us. And then I tell people about how awesome that hotel was. My co workers, I hope they're not too, too.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:31:51

I love it. I love it. And it also helps me realize that part of it too. You also live in a place that's hard to travel from, which I've noted as well. And so like traveling from here is acknowledged more live in other places I've lived like Boston and Portland and places where a lot of people either travel and travel happens. Yeah, it is complicated travel from here. So a lot plus travel happens from here.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:32:15

Yeah. And our last trip to Las Vegas included like flying out of where we live and flying into another city instead of having a one way cross country. Yeah, it's more complicated. But everyone's like, yeah, what did you. That was even an option? I was like, I'm resourceful. When I want to go places, everything happens.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:32:32

Yes, you do.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:32:33

Definitely. Definitely. That's awesome. Okay, so what's something I could do in the coming year that would make you feel more seen or appreciated?

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:32:43

See, I feel like that's a bad question. I say that in a joking way in that one of the reasons I have such joy in my relationship is because you, whether you do it on purpose or not, and I think you do it on purpose actively try to make me feel more seen and appreciated. And I don't think I could have ever been in a relationship or chosen to marry somebody without that. I'm trying to think of ways to give you an example, but I will use my geekery as I love all things Star Wars, Marvel, comic books, science fiction, fantasy, video games, what I call assorted geekery. And some people have a spouse who would either a belittle that to their friends or B, tolerate it for their spouse, but you have chosen to embrace it and encourage me to do more assorted geekery things, whether it's travel to Blizzcon or whatever con I decide I want to go to or remind me that a movie's coming out that you have no interest in whatsoever, but you really are finding friends for me to go watch with, which obviously benefits you, so you don't have to go, but at the same time you're encouraging me to go watch it as opposed to rolling your eyes that I'm wasting time going to watch something that you have no interest in anyway. And that's surface level thing. Sorry, I'm having a spasm in my calf at the moment. Doesn't feel good.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:34:29

And that's a surface level thing. But on a deeper level, you have shown a willingness to listen to me on deeper emotional level things and given me the freedom to have those feelings and deal with those feelings in such a way that I now feel comfortable that I have them and that I can share them and then I can work my way through them and then move beyond that, which I find fascinating and amazing and I didn't even know was possible. So I would say keep doing what you're doing and it will help me feel more appreciated and seen because it's never ending as a person, let alone as a spouse. Like, I can always be better at what I'm doing, but I think sometimes it's easy to forget that we just need to keep what we're doing.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:35:20

I'm so glad that I didn't do more. He did an amazing Christmas tree this year because we take turns doing the Christmas tree and it was this amazing Darth Vader tree and I intended to post videos on it and tell more people about it. One of my friends was sharing it all over the east coast. And yes, I didn't even send it. Like, BJ would love that tree. I didn't even share it with my friends. It'd be nearly as so. Sometimes I feel like I don't do enough to support you and do these things so much.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:35:48

That I can't imagine you would ever feel that way. So that's funny. I appreciate it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:35:56

Okay.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:35:57

But yeah, I don't feel that at all that you don't support me in whatever it is. I feel pretty supported.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:36:02

Oh, good. It's good to know that you're feeling it. Even if I want to be doing more. So I still want. I'm going to both do it here. The Last question, question 20. Good question. Is, what's one thing you hope we'll accomplish together this year? Because I think that's a great thing to end on.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:36:18

It sort of ties into the end of the last question and that what I want us to accomplish is just to continue to be open and accepting and, I don't know, just continue the path that we're on, which I feel is a very healthy relationship, and the willingness to allow each other to not just succeed, but also fail occasionally. And that's okay. Like, I cannot be the perfect partner for you. I might be your perfect partner, but I can never be perfect. And you allow me to fail at being a perfect partner. And I need that. Because if you expected or didn't allow that or were angry with me for failing, it would just ruin me. Because seeing you that distraught over my inability would be a terrible thing that even makes any sense whatsoever.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:37:17

It does make sense. Do you think that's a newer thought for you? Do you feel like in the beginning you felt like you had to be a perfect partner?

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:37:22

Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:37:24

That's gross. Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:37:26

That's five or six years of us being together. Yeah, absolutely. But I had to fail and see you react in a way that I did not expect or even know was possible from a partner multiple times before it even started to sink in that it was okay. I feel like, other than random occurrences, that I will extend grace to people. A lot of rope for people. I do not do that for myself very well. I expect a lot of perfection out of myself.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:02

You do.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:38:03

And you have helped me understand a. That's not a healthy way to be. Okay. It's okay that I'm not perfect in every way, shape and form, which I never thought I was, but trying to hold myself to a standard.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:22

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:38:23

Right. That it's okay. And I. I think. Yeah, it took. It wasn't any one moment. It was a consistent acceptance from you that I am a person with flaws before I even started to realize that it was okay.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:39

I love you so much.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:38:40

I love you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:45

I know. It's wonderful you're using that. I'm like, wait, this is new. It's just raising.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:38:51

Probably last year. Yeah. Probably in the last year again. Probably since we got married.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:57

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:38:58

I mean, I'm sure I was thinking about this before then, but I'm sure it solidified when you actually chose to marry me. So the answer as to why they're splitting Lil Robi is very deep emotional acceptance.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:39:15

That's so beautiful. That's so beautiful.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:39:18

I think so.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:39:21

There's a reason you're so.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:39:23

There is. But yes. And we haven't talked about that reason. You know. We haven't had that discussion. I've had a lot of thoughts about it. Like personal. Like spending time trying to get to the bottom of it because I enjoy it.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:39:36

And let's be honest. It's easy. This is going to dive into some other parts of it. It's easier to be alone when your choices aren't going to impact somebody else. It's much more difficult to have a partner who. Where your choices are actually impactful to them and their well being. And it's hard for somebody who was choosing not to have a partner for as long as I did to then choose somebody and be okay with that. And it took me a long time in our relationship to get over that.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:40:12

A fear of choosing something that was going to impact the other person and B realize that it's okay. For example. Big example. Moving to Bend. I had had enough of the experience of being in Portland for the job and everything else.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:40:31

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:40:32

Wanted to move to Bend. You accepted that and moved here. Whole story involved in there. It took me a long time to be okay with Ben not being perfect after you chose to be here. Anything that wasn't perfect about Bend when you got here was a reflection on me pulling you away from where you were happy.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:40:58

I still struggle with that.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:41:00

I hate it when there is something about this place that you don't like because there's still that part of me that feels like you're here because of me. I made a choice that made my spouse unhappy. That sucks. And it took plenty of time with being here and having those. But also to understand that like you chose this and we're here together good and bad. You know. And it's okay for you to express unhappiness.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:41:31

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:41:32

And it's okay that I don't place that's not perfect.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:41:35

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:41:36

Does that make sense?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:41:37

Yes. And no place to be perfect.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:41:39

No. There's always going to be something.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:41:40

Yes. No place to be perfect. Just like Portland wasn't perfect for you. Right. And I never took that personally.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:41:46

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:41:47

Whereas if I had taken that personally that would have been detrimental to our relationship.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:41:51

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:41:52

Yes. Or if you took it personally or if I couldn't complain about Ben.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:41:56

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:41:56

And had to bottle that up. That would be different for our relationship as well.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:42:00

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:42:01

So for Ed has a good example of how we can let those things be the both of us. You have to not take it personally when I don't like Bend.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:42:11

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:42:11

And I have not blame you when I don't, like, bend. Like, that's like individual work on both of us. Just like when you came to Portland.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:42:19

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:42:19

If you don't like something about Portland, you didn't blame me. Right. About Portland. And I didn't take it personally if you don't like something about Portland. I think a lot of relationships, people don't separate those things. And it takes both people.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:42:32

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:42:33

To be able to separate those things out.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:42:35

Yeah. We don't blame each other for our unhappiness.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:42:38

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:42:39

And I think that's important because I think a lot of people blame their partner for their unhappiness for whatever reason. And I feel like as soon as you do that, you start building animosity.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:42:52

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:42:52

Because it's the other person's fault you're not happy.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:42:55

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:42:56

Then they become not the enemy necessarily, but they become the focal point for your unhappiness.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:43:02

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:43:03

And then it just grows from there. Right. It feels like it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:43:07

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:43:07

I think we don't have that. And I. I find. I think of you as the reason for my happiness. And anyway, I just find that interesting that there's so many people who find their spouses the reason for their unhappiness as opposed to looking for what it is that their spouse has done that makes them happy.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:43:24

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:43:25

Because if I think of the positives and I focus on the things that I know you have done for me, I think that's way better than trying to think about the things you've done that for whatever reason, have ended up less. Well, for me.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:43:38

Yes. I think part of it too is like looking at something fully and wholly, if that makes sense when we look at. So I'm aware that I love snickerdoodle cookies, but sticker cookies maybe will get me a sugar high when I have them, and then I'll crash afterwards. But I sold sticker cookies and she. Anyway, so it's like cookies, like choose not to have C. Cookies. Cookies. And not have that cash.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:44:07

Right.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:44:07

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:44:07

So you accept something fully, and it's the same as your partner. It's the same as your job. It's the same as all these things. Like, you have to fully choose the things in your life and take ownership to the things you choose to have in your life. And that goes to the people, the job, the food, that everything you're choosing to have in your life instead of like, like fully negatively or fully positively. Like choosing to ignore the negative side effect or choosing to blame the negative effects when well, you chose to eat cookies. You chose to have the negative side effects. And like, those type of people don't look at the full picture when they're doing things.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:44:43

And so I think that that's the challenge of doing that and understanding. Like, I would 100% choose you and Ben. Like, it's worth, like, all those other pieces. And then I usually look at what I don't like about Ben. And if I feel like it doesn't me feel more isolated, I need to figure out way to find more connection life. If I don't like the travel thing, then I had to figure out what to work on the travel thing. And, like, why do I like travel so much? Because it lets me get away from my life. Well, then I need to figure out how to go away from my life without leaving my house.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:45:16

Like, you know, what do I need to do to get those things that I'm missing here? Because I want to be here and be with you. And so that's like, that's what I'm choosing.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:45:25

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:45:25

So you take ownership for our decisions, how to work those things around. It's kind of like the other way you can do it of blaming somebody else and.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:45:34

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:45:34

Letting that eat away at you.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:45:36

Yeah. I find it interesting because I think it's harder to take ownership of you being the reason for your happiness or unhappiness. It's easier to blame somebody else.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:45:46

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:45:47

And I think that makes a lot of sense if you are looking through the prism of acceptance as opposed to blame.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:45:54

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:45:55

And I think it's difficult. Right. The person that you're spending the most time with, that you're most emotionally connected with, is the easiest person to assign blame.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:46:03

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:46:04

For whatever reason. No, I just find that fascinating. And it took growth. I'm talking about myself in particular. I love that I'm now at a point where when you talk about things you don't like, specifically about the bend area, I'm not immediately defensive because I'm not ownership of that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:46:22

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:46:22

But it took me a while to recognize that. I get defensive because I feel like I made the choice to bring us here. But it took some spending some time trying to understand why I get defensive. When you refer to things you don't like about the area when we first moved here. Right. And then it took some time, like, unraveling the why I feel defensive, why I want you to be so happy, you know, get through all that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:46:52

Yeah. I think this is a great place for us to remind anyone listening that you and I first made Eye contact when I was 14 and you were 16 years and years ago when I was 14 and you were 16. And you and I would have had the relationship that at one point in time we've had this conversation that in our early 20s, like we reconnected and that would have been like this time where we've been different lives. Then we would have destroyed each other.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:47:25

So miserably terrible.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:47:28

For everything.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:47:30

Absolutely neither.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:47:31

So this isn't. You and I have learned a lot of lessons in our lives and come through a lot of hard paths to be are to be in a relationship we're in and we have no room to judge anyone doing all those things because we've done all those things with other partners.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:47:48

Absolutely. And it's funny because we do have this story that involves us starting at 14 and 16 and people have asked me like, do you regret that you guys didn't get together, like get married when you were in your 20s or whatever? And I don't regret that for anything because you're right, it would have been a very miserable situation. And I don't know about Shauna, but it took me a good 30 years to be ready for a relationship like this.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:48:24

Yes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:48:25

I would have liked that to be accomplished much quicker.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:48:33

Oh, we would have just made this evolved and we just would have made. No, we would have destroyed each other and blamed each other fully for all the things.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:48:44

Yeah, absolutely. Would have been your fault. In my head I would have believed that and it would have taken. It would have taken so many years to realize that maybe I was to blame here.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:48:59

I don't know. Do you think? Would we have. I don't know. We did just enough damage to each other in our passing through each other's lives. Being scared to admit to each other. Being scared for like a hurt each other. And we can see the role each of us played now and see it. I think if we would have spent enough time, if we would have fought for each other, we would have destroyed each other.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:49:23

And I feel like it's really hard to untangle all that, don't you think?

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:49:28

As much as I like to imagine the awesomeness of being together at that age, I don't like to imagine the terribleness of the destruction of each other's psyches and emotional consciousness. It could have been otherwise, if that makes sense.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:49:45

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:49:46

That to bring up like people, communication is so important. So important. Neither one of us communicated in effective ways at all.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:49:58

At all. We're so self protected and so like.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:50:02

Anyway, anybody who doesn't know this Story. Just know that lack of communication multiple times over the 30 years of US knowing each other was a big cause of pushing each other away.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:50:16

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:50:17

And each of us learning to communicate to our partner and about our own needs is at least a part of what allowed us to have a very fulfilling relationship.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:50:32

Yes. And we know how lucky we are, and we know how amazing this is. We totally do. Yes. Yes, we do. We do. Yes. So my one thing that I hope we'll accomplish together this year, I mean, just one thing.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:50:49

I think that continuing. Continuing this and growing the way that we're growing. I don't know, we keep surpassing my expectations, but, like, it's, like, hard to imagine, like, how things will continue to change and grow and evolve. The one thing I hope we'll accomplish together is we're going to finish the painting from the wedding. That's one thing, one tangible thing that before. Before the end of 2025, we will finish that.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:51:17

Is that a challenge? So that you and I do a podcast episode at the end of 2025, and we hold up the finished painting so that your audience can see.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:51:30

So that will be the one thing that we'll accomplish together this year, is that painting.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:51:35

That doesn't mean. This is for me, not for you. That on the 25th of 2020 of December 2025, I'm scrambling to paint 90% of the painting that I haven't done yet.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:51:48

I like you. The 25th year, the 2025 is Christmas.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:51:56

I chose that because that's when I would be thinking, oh, my gosh, we're going to do this podcast. And I haven't done any painting that I said I would do.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:52:04

Yes. Because everything else. Because you have a lot up in the air, like with our living situations a little bit up in the air. Like, different stuff, with our travels up in the air. Like, we have a lot of stuff up in the air. So it's interesting. I think the other years, like, last year, we accomplished a wedding. Year before that, we accomplished moving to bed and selling a house.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:52:22

Barely sold the house the year before because there's a lot of getting that done. So, like, we've accomplished a lot in the last few years was selling houses, moving weddings. So I feel like this year finishing a painting feels like a really big accomplishment.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:52:35

It does, but I like the challenge to do it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:52:38

I'll just do that. So that will be our accomplishment for this year. That's what I would like for us to accomplish together this year. So I like that. And yeah, again, let's. Let's travel from Ben. So I'm not gonna put any big travel plans on it. So next for 2026, I have big travel plans for us.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:52:54

But yeah, I think that's what I want to accomplish good this year.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:52:57

All right, sounds good.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:52:59

And because this is the great show and this is your first time being on the great show.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:53:02

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:53:03

We always have to ask about your self maintenance, like what you do for self care, which I didn't prep you for this at all.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:53:10

You did not. But I think the answer is somewhat obvious because I talked about it before is I don't meditate or read scripture or, or anything like that. I play golf. And for me, golf is time out of my week that I get to spend away from everything else. Even if it's a course in the middle of a city. I'm in nature. There's always animals on the course. I've come home with pictures of giant deer, bunnies, wolves, coyotes.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:53:43

And it's grass and trees and lakes and fish. And it's just, it is a, it is January.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:53:51

So my curiosity is so for your self maintenance, is. Is a simulator like as effective as going to like today, this weekend you did go to a golf course, even though it was luckily before the snow that happened. Like so is your self maintenance going to be making sure that you get to a golf course, get somewhere where there's not snow on the ground in bends, like it happens more in January, February. Is that going to be making sure that you get somewhere at least once a month or twice a month where you can actually get outside and golf? Or is getting to the simulator twice a week going to be enough? Like when you can't get outside as much because you're really good about weekly golfing when the weather's better, but we live somewhere that's not the case as much.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:54:39

So it's a little different.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:54:42

Time a year.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:54:43

So off the top of my head, my thought is just knowing where the closest golf course is to go to, that the weather would be most likely to be okay. And you ask about the simulator and is that enough? Not really. But it's a pretty reasonable facsimile. I can go into the garage and put on the simulator and not be interrupted. Yes. And that is helpful.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:55:12

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:55:13

But it's not.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:55:13

It's not the same as like being out in nature and. Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:55:18

And as you ask about traveling to places that are a little bit better weather, getting out of bend to places that are better is difficult. Right. Because of the same snow which prevents me from golfing here, having to drive over a mountain pass in the snow is something that will prevent me from wanting to do that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:55:40

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:55:40

Because that's. I don't necessarily want to have. It does bring to mind that traveling east is not a bad option to consider. Now. I don't. Other than Prineville, I don't know if what the weather's like anywhere beyond that, because I know as you get further east, then it gets colder. Right. I used to live in the grand and it was freezing all the time in the wintertime.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:56:04

So, yeah. I think that might require flights with the two of us to locations in the US that have sun.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:56:12

So we need to go to San Diego, huh?

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:56:14

Or Arizona.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:56:15

Arizona.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:56:16

You know.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:56:17

All right.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:56:19

But I think at the moment, I think there's so few days where it's that bad in this area that it doesn't become an issue. It didn't last year, and so far this year, I'm bummed that so many courses shut down for the season.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:56:34

Yeah. Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:56:35

But there are some. There's at least two that stay open except for the days where it's just as impossible for them to be able to open for golf.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:56:42

There you go. Let's get to know that you've discovered you do need to be out, and the simulator is not enough.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:56:48

It's true.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:56:49

And how often do you feel like you need to be, like, weekly to.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:56:53

Go out and golf?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:56:54

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:56:55

So my preference is weekly. I think after going out yesterday and not going out. Well, since, I guess, Thanksgiving.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:57:04

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:57:05

Right. I would say that's about the maximum I want to go without doing it because I can feel it building up.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:57:10

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:57:11

The need for it building up, if that makes sense. Because as I've said, it's my one place in my life to be fully present and not have distractions and stress from other parts of my life.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:57:26

Yeah.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:57:27

And you forget how important that is until you're away from it long enough and you're like, oh, my gosh, I need to find a way.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:57:33

Yes, that makes perfect sense.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:57:35

And how about. Do you answer the same question? I'm curious.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:57:39

That's my guest. So many do my episodes, I'll answer my self maintenance or what I've been doing for self maintenance. But usually it's something we get to hear from the guests so that folks can have different ways of thinking about how they do self maintenance.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:57:51

Oh, there you go.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:57:52

Yes. Thank you for asking. I appreciate that you care about me.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:57:55

Myself a little bit.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:57:56

A little bit. Very caring. I appreciate that. Thank you so much for doing this. I love this conversation. And for everyone listening again, there's 20 of these. We only do like scratch the surface really on and all these questions. So definitely get these and download these and share these with your partner and spend some time diving into these to just kind of reflect on the last year and look at the year ahead and for those connections.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:58:22

I mean, I know I learned some great things from this conversation.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:58:24

I did as well. Now, the other thing to mention, and I think I mentioned this early on, maybe multiple times. If this sounds like something your partner has no interest in doing, let them know that I was very not interested in doing this and it took some time for me to recognize it was fear and then want to address that fear by things that make me afraid or things I need to do. And so I was like, all right, I'm afraid of this, so I better step in and do it now. I'll be less afraid next time because this has been fun and easier than I thought it would be.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:59:02

Nice.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:59:03

It's okay to be afraid, but it's also okay to embrace that fear and still do it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:59:10

So do it. That's a beautiful note to end on. Thank you so much for being part of this. I appreciate you.

Robbie Lawrence [: 00:59:15

Thank you for having me.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:59:20

I value the time we shared together today. Thank you for making time to be here and to continue taking steps towards growth and bringing more ease into your life. I'd love for us to stay connected on Instagram, @shawnapodcast or @the.grit.show. There's even a link in bio at The Grit Show where you can send me an email to let me know what you thought. Today's episode. Hearing from you helps to make the effort that goes into producing these episodes worthwhile. After all, you're why I'm here. And since it's been a while since you've heard this, you are the only one of you that this world has got and that really does mean something.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 01:00:06

I hope you realize that I'll be back again soon and I hope you're following along or subscribed so that you'll know and be here too.